I think I have mild aspergers

[Black Light]

I am a 35 year old male living in the UK. I think I have mild aspergers that was maybe a bit more severe when I was younger that I have learned to control better. I would be interested to hear people’s thoughts.

I’m probably best starting with what symptoms I don’t have. My theory of mind, through a lot of practice is actually quite good and I have to be quite cunning at times politically with the work I do, but as I say this hasn’t always been so. When I was younger I could not do this. I’ve also never struggled with balance or coordination. I could ride a bike without stabilisers at 18 months.

Things that are typical though; I’ve always had that classic wrong planet like mentality. School was tough for me and throughout my life I’ve struggled to identify with many people and it takes me a long time to see the value of certain people as friends. I do have a close circle of friends, I’m married and have been with the same women for nearly 10 years.

I value my privacy and time alone highly, but I do get lonley if I spend too much time alone. I have as much social life as I desire and usually on my terms. Too much socialising is overpowering for me though and I often struggle to keep conversations going. I’ve come to view too much socialising as being unproductive and it makes me unhappy.

In order to feel relaxed I need to tightly control my home environment. What furniture, decor etc. This has caused problems in the marriage though, but until things came to a head I did not realise the consequences of my actions.

I maintain a room in my house that doubles as my office and what you would basically describe as a sensory room. I hate regular artificial light. It makes me feel sick and depressed, so in my sensory room I have lots of ambient lighting of different colours, water bubble tubes, laser projectors, black lights etc. This is where I feel most comfortable and prefer to be.

I do have strong interests in several things, although I cannot recall ever talking about them obsessively. I am a guitar player and can play to a very high standard. I am also a keen cyclist and computer programmer. I find the repetition of all three activities soothing.

I have what you might call an excessive amount of mental energy that I have learned to harness and not use in destructive activities with time. I do a very, very mentally demanding job and I am able to and indeed enjoy working very long weeks where a great deal of concentration is required.

I work as a senior solutions architect in the financial services sector in the niche between the finance and IT world (basically I design and build their reporting systems for the regulators). I am self taught as I didn’t like or do particularly well in school.

Despite this I have what you would call a high IQ in quite a rounded way. I am good at analysis and problem solving and learning new and complex things quite quickly.

I can be very stubborn and resistant to outside interference both at work and in my private life. At work I know how to get things done and I know every last little detail about it. When others start getting involved in the implementation side of things and start changing little details I really have to suppress my anger with them. Even my code is obsessively neat and well laid out. Scruffy code makes my skin itch.

I have a bit of an obsession with the passage of time, but I’m not particularly date obsessed and things like that don’t really stick in my head. I do have a very good memory though, both long term and short term working memory.

I do have obsessive phobias and fears though which have reduced my quality of life substantially. I’ve tried lots of things and therapies to get past them, but nothing really helps and I am a bit of a prisoner to them.

With regards to mood, if I’m not kept busy with work I have rapidly cycling mood swings...I can and do frequently go from moderate highs to quite severe lows in the space of a few hours. I find though that if I with hard and exercise hard I can keep this in check to a certain degree.

I have basically developed an obsessive drive for self improvement as a distraction from some of my mental health issues and away from bad things like drugs and heavy drinking that controlled my life in my younger days.

Sorry for going on and on, but does any of this sound aspergers like to anyone.

 

[Adora]

While I’m not a doctor I can or cannot say it’s Aspergers but it does sound like you have some symptoms,being on the spectrum doesn’t mean your going to have every single symptom nor does it mean that we all have the same personality,I went for 31 years without knowing I’m on the spectrum and during that time I was misdiagnosed with conditions like schizoaffective disorder but it took years later for a clinical psychologist that had experience in autism to pick up on my symptoms,some people who symptoms are mild can be completely missed or even the symptoms can be misinterpreted into something else especially if you have any comorbid conditions but as I think you have come to the right place you will find many here that can help and you also find how diverse it is,I hope you like it and it helps you figure out who you are.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Gary DuBois]

I am a 35 year old male living in the UK. I think I have mild aspergers that was maybe a bit more severe when I was younger that I have learned to control better. I would be interested to hear people’s thoughts.

I’m probably best starting with what symptoms I don’t have. My theory of mind, through a lot of practice is actually quite good and I have to be quite cunning at times politically with the work I do, but as I say this hasn’t always been so. When I was younger I could not do this. I’ve also never struggled with balance or coordination. I could ride a bike without stabilisers at 18 months.

Things that are typical though; I’ve always had that classic wrong planet like mentality. School was tough for me and throughout my life I’ve struggled to identify with many people and it takes me a long time to see the value of certain people as friends. I do have a close circle of friends, I’m married and have been with the same women for nearly 10 years.

I value my privacy and time alone highly, but I do get lonley if I spend too much time alone. I have as much social life as I desire and usually on my terms. Too much socialising is overpowering for me though and I often struggle to keep conversations going. I’ve come to view too much socialising as being unproductive and it makes me unhappy.

In order to feel relaxed I need to tightly control my home environment. What furniture, decor etc. This has caused problems in the marriage though, but until things came to a head I did not realise the consequences of my actions.

I maintain a room in my house that doubles as my office and what you would basically describe as a sensory room. I hate regular artificial light. It makes me feel sick and depressed, so in my sensory room I have lots of ambient lighting of different colours, water bubble tubes, laser projectors, black lights etc. This is where I feel most comfortable and prefer to be.

I do have strong interests in several things, although I cannot recall ever talking about them obsessively. I am a guitar player and can play to a very high standard. I am also a keen cyclist and computer programmer. I find the repetition of all three activities soothing.

I have what you might call an excessive amount of mental energy that I have learned to harness and not use in destructive activities with time. I do a very, very mentally demanding job and I am able to and indeed enjoy working very long weeks where a great deal of concentration is required.

I work as a senior solutions architect in the financial services sector in the niche between the finance and IT world (basically I design and build their reporting systems for the regulators). I am self taught as I didn’t like or do particularly well in school.

Despite this I have what you would call a high IQ in quite a rounded way. I am good at analysis and problem solving and learning new and complex things quite quickly.

I can be very stubborn and resistant to outside interference both at work and in my private life. At work I know how to get things done and I know every last little detail about it. When others start getting involved in the implementation side of things and start changing little details I really have to suppress my anger with them. Even my code is obsessively neat and well laid out. Scruffy code makes my skin itch.

I have a bit of an obsession with the passage of time, but I’m not particularly date obsessed and things like that don’t really stick in my head. I do have a very good memory though, both long term and short term working memory.

I do have obsessive phobias and fears though which have reduced my quality of life substantially. I’ve tried lots of things and therapies to get past them, but nothing really helps and I am a bit of a prisoner to them.

With regards to mood, if I’m not kept busy with work I have rapidly cycling mood swings...I can and do frequently go from moderate highs to quite severe lows in the space of a few hours. I find though that if I with hard and exercise hard I can keep this in check to a certain degree.

I have basically developed an obsessive drive for self improvement as a distraction from some of my mental health issues and away from bad things like drugs and heavy drinking that controlled my life in my younger days.

Sorry for going on and on, but does any of this sound aspergers like to anyone.

Im 26 years old and i have mild autism - aspergers and add

 

[Streetwise]

I am a 35 year old male living in the UK. I think I have mild aspergers that was maybe a bit more severe when I was younger that I have learned to control better. I would be interested to hear people’s thoughts.

I’m probably best starting with what symptoms I don’t have. My theory of mind, through a lot of practice is actually quite good and I have to be quite cunning at times politically with the work I do, but as I say this hasn’t always been so. When I was younger I could not do this. I’ve also never struggled with balance or coordination. I could ride a bike without stabilisers at 18 months.

Things that are typical though; I’ve always had that classic wrong planet like mentality. School was tough for me and throughout my life I’ve struggled to identify with many people and it takes me a long time to see the value of certain people as friends. I do have a close circle of friends, I’m married and have been with the same women for nearly 10 years.

I value my privacy and time alone highly, but I do get lonley if I spend too much time alone. I have as much social life as I desire and usually on my terms. Too much socialising is overpowering for me though and I often struggle to keep conversations going. I’ve come to view too much socialising as being unproductive and it makes me unhappy.

In order to feel relaxed I need to tightly control my home environment. What furniture, decor etc. This has caused problems in the marriage though, but until things came to a head I did not realise the consequences of my actions.

I maintain a room in my house that doubles as my office and what you would basically describe as a sensory room. I hate regular artificial light. It makes me feel sick and depressed, so in my sensory room I have lots of ambient lighting of different colours, water bubble tubes, laser projectors, black lights etc. This is where I feel most comfortable and prefer to be.

I do have strong interests in several things, although I cannot recall ever talking about them obsessively. I am a guitar player and can play to a very high standard. I am also a keen cyclist and computer programmer. I find the repetition of all three activities soothing.

I have what you might call an excessive amount of mental energy that I have learned to harness and not use in destructive activities with time. I do a very, very mentally demanding job and I am able to and indeed enjoy working very long weeks where a great deal of concentration is required.

I work as a senior solutions architect in the financial services sector in the niche between the finance and IT world (basically I design and build their reporting systems for the regulators). I am self taught as I didn’t like or do particularly well in school.

Despite this I have what you would call a high IQ in quite a rounded way. I am good at analysis and problem solving and learning new and complex things quite quickly.

I can be very stubborn and resistant to outside interference both at work and in my private life. At work I know how to get things done and I know every last little detail about it. When others start getting involved in the implementation side of things and start changing little details I really have to suppress my anger with them. Even my code is obsessively neat and well laid out. Scruffy code makes my skin itch.

I have a bit of an obsession with the passage of time, but I’m not particularly date obsessed and things like that don’t really stick in my head. I do have a very good memory though, both long term and short term working memory.

I do have obsessive phobias and fears though which have reduced my quality of life substantially. I’ve tried lots of things and therapies to get past them, but nothing really helps and I am a bit of a prisoner to them.

With regards to mood, if I’m not kept busy with work I have rapidly cycling mood swings...I can and do frequently go from moderate highs to quite severe lows in the space of a few hours. I find though that if I with hard and exercise hard I can keep this in check to a certain degree.

I have basically developed an obsessive drive for self improvement as a distraction from some of my mental health issues and away from bad things like drugs and heavy drinking that controlled my life in my younger days.

Sorry for going on and on, but does any of this sound aspergers like to anyone.

 

[ksheehan88]

Welcome

I am 29 and have recently been diagnosed with AS. You do seem to have traits. Perhaps a good course of action would be to do the RAADS-R test online, that may give you an indication of whether or not to pursue a diagnosis (if this is indeed what you want to do). It is not a diagnostic tool but it can be helpful.

 

[Black Light]

Thanks for replying all. My score on the above mentioned test is in the picture below.

 

[ksheehan88]

Thanks for replying all. My score on the above mentioned test is in the picture below.

Where in the UK are you based? Are you looking to seek a diagnosis or are you happy to self-diagnose?

 

[Black Light]

I live in Manchester. I think a formal diagnosis would be good. If I am an aspie I would say I am a relatively mild one. I watched the recent documentary about Chris Packham and his aspergers and I would say his is more pronounced than mine.

My quality of life is good overall, I would just like to get some answers about why I am the way I am. In terms of helping me I would have benefited a lot more from that 20 years ago than I would now. I think life and experience has helped me control the worst of it.

 

[ksheehan88]

I live in Manchester. I think a formal diagnosis would be good. If I am an aspie I would say I am a relatively mild one. I watched the recent documentary about Chris Packham and his aspergers and I would say his is more pronounced than mine.

My quality of life is good overall, I would just like to get some answers about why I am the way I am. In terms of helping me I would have benefited a lot more from that 20 years ago than I would now. I think life and experience has helped me control the worst of it.

Yes the Chris Packham programme was really good, and although I can relate to lots of things he said, some stuff was more intense for him than me. But that being said, there are many different layers and levels and not everyone will have the same traits and some people will struggle more than others. In particular, women present differently than men, so we are a world apart in just our gender lol.

 

[Black Light]

I used to hang around with a woman who went onto by diagnosed with aspergers that at the time when I knew less about the condition surprised me, but in retrospect not so much.

I’ve joked with the wife about it on and off for years, but I mentioned this forum and some of the questions on that test didn’t apply to me, but she says they do.

I have a slightly monotone voice and I can at times talk really quickly without realising it. I’ve gotten good at being able to take small breaths and keep going indefinitely. I got told off on a work call recently for that actually.

She also said that I do have a routine I am happiest when I stick to whether I am aware of it or not.

When I think about it, I have a routine when I watch television. I only watch regularly football, cycling, formula one, only fools and horses and Emmerdale. I get apprehensive if I have to watch anything else, but can enjoy it in small doses if I power through it. I also listen to the same music a lot. I sometimes sit and listen to one song on repeat for hours.

A favourite evening of mine not so long back when the wife had gone to bed was to put ‘Policy of Truth’ by Depeche Mode on repeat and disappear down a Wikipedia wormhole for hours and hours. Whilst I don’t have the classic numbers fascination various people do jokingly call me ‘Rain Man’ because of my tendency towards remembering vast amounts of pointless information.

So I guess none of this is a total shock, and it is good to be able to make sense of it all a bit more.

 

[ksheehan88]

I used to hang around with a woman who went onto by diagnosed with aspergers that at the time when I knew less about the condition surprised me, but in retrospect not so much.

I’ve joked with the wife about it on and off for years, but I mentioned this forum and some of the questions on that test didn’t apply to me, but she says they do.

I have a slightly monotone voice and I can at times talk really quickly without realising it. I’ve gotten good at being able to take small breaths and keep going indefinitely. I got told off on a work call recently for that actually.

She also said that I do have a routine I am happiest when I stick to whether I am aware of it or not.

When I think about it, I have a routine when I watch television. I only watch regularly football, cycling, formula one, only fools and horses and Emmerdale. I get apprehensive if I have to watch anything else, but can enjoy it in small doses if I power through it. I also listen to the same music a lot. I sometimes sit and listen to one song on repeat for hours.

A favourite evening of mine not so long back when the wife had gone to bed was to put ‘Policy of Truth’ by Depeche Mode on repeat and disappear down a Wikipedia wormhole for hours and hours. Whilst I don’t have the classic numbers fascination various people do jokingly call me ‘Rain Man’ because of my tendency towards remembering vast amounts of pointless information.

So I guess none of this is a total shock, and it is good to be able to make sense of it all a bit more.

I watch Rick and Morty, Red Dwarf, The Mighty Boosh, and Blackadder in rotation (not in any particular order though). I like nature, science and history programmes too. Movies I tend to stick to what I know and like. Music is the same, I have a playlist I listen to. Sometimes particular bands or songs go on repeat for days or weeks, from that playlist. I love to read too, mostly horror (Stephen King and Thomas Harris are my favourites) but I like to read history books too.

 

[Black Light]

Further musings on this subject as I become aware of them. I have a total stone face and have often been teased about that over the years. I also cant put on a smile. I don't even smile when I am feeling relatively happy. I can only smile if someone genuinely makes me laugh. I look like an axe murderer in all my ID photographs going back to being a teenager, which is probably made worse by me having very dark brown eyes, that look black in photographs.

I also have a remarkable capacity for tunnel vision and ending up doing certain daily tasks in a very repetitive manner. For example, there is a Tesco near my house that I go to every day to buy food. Everyday I go to the sandwich section and buy pretty much the same thing. I was thinking today that I was a bit bored of eating the same sandwiches, but it was genuinely only then that it dawned on me that Tesco sells other things than sandwiches that you can eat.

I do that with lots of things. It's like my inner thought process is so loud sometimes that I don't perceive the world around me properly at all. It is literally like being in a tunnel. When I was younger someone pointed out to me that I seemed to be completely unaware of my surrounding or my actions at times. I wouldn't say I am that bad now, but to a large degree I still am.

When my now wife was still my girlfriend, she would invite me round to her place because she had cooked for me. I'd say I would be there at a certain time, then stroll in two hours late thinking nothing of it. It wasn't like I was being deliberately selfish or inconsiderate, I just wasn't making the mental link properly between my actions and their consequences.

Also, another strange life event happened when I started high school. I didn't want to go at all. When I got there in the first couple of weeks or so I felt really uncomfortable and that feeling just continued to grow and grow until eventually it got to the point where it felt like I was going to explode. I can't remember saying two words to anyone in the first couple of weeks of me being there, but then for at least a couple of days in school and possibly longer I cannot remember anything. Nothing about being at home, nothing about being in school. Then, almost like coming round from an operation I gradually seemed to return to consciousness. I don't know what I had said or done, but all of a sudden everyone in my class hated me and the relationship did not thaw a great deal until I left aged 16.

There have been other instances in my life since then where I have been put in a negative or unpleasant social situation where the same blacking out type feeling has occurred and I've come back to my senses a few days later only to realise I've come completely unglued at the people around me and pissed everyone off.

Has anyone else on here had similar experiences to me in this regard?

 

[Black Light]

Also, my revised RAADS-R score when I included things the wife said I did/had was 127...