I tent to overshare with people now because when I was younger I had no one to talk too.

[Tony Ramirez]

I don't know if this is the cause with me oversharing with people like my friends and even my yoga teachers. But when I was younger, a teenager in hight school then worse college where I was completely ignored I had no one to talk to about my problems. I think the only person I actually talked to was the dean of the college as he and a few of the teachers were the only people there who would actually talk to me. Then I dropped out.

Then I remembered going to a disability work program and only talking to the teacher and work consoler.

I only had a terrible therapist. Then occasionally had some good student therapists I could talk too. I had friends from 2000-2003 that I lost but I was able to share things with. But really after that I held everything in again.

Only now the past 4 years 9 months I been socializing much more and have better therapists I have been having a tendency to really overshare with the pastor, friends, therapist and even some of my yoga teachers. I even have the urge when I talk to someone like Kyle which I did during the big dinner. I also have during the two life groups. I even almost done it talking to women I barely know but I tried to control myself.

It's just holding it in and being ignored by women all those years must have twisted my mind somehow.

 

[Jumpinbare]

You may be experiencing the aftermath of the dam breaking, but when I was researching autism after my diagnosis, I read that oversharing is common for us. I did some of that before I knew I was autistic and before I learned I lost potential friends that way. I pretty much quit sharing anything personal except things like physical symptoms with my doctor, or health issues that people close to me needed to know about (apparently my extended warranty expired long ago).
Now it's hard to know how much is too much, so I tend to undershare for the most part. I have fully disclosed my autism to each of my actual friends and family (not a long list). But that kinda falls into the physical symptom thing since it's a neurological condition. I don't think I have shared any emotional issues to anyone IRL since my wife passed away.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

You may be experiencing the aftermath of the dam breaking, but when I was researching autism after my diagnosis, I read that oversharing is common for us.

I never really did it until about a few years ago but especially this year I really overshared with many people.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I don't know if this is the cause with me oversharing with people like my friends and even my yoga teachers. But when I was younger, a teenager in hight school then worse college where I was completely ignored I had no one to talk to about my problems. I think the only person I actually talked to was the dean of the college as he and a few of the teachers were the only people there who would actually talk to me. Then I dropped out.

Then I remembered going to a disability work program and only talking to the teacher and work consoler.

I only had a terrible therapist. Then occasionally had some good student therapists I could talk too. I had friends from 2000-2003 that I lost but I was able to share things with. But really after that I held everything in again.

Only now the past 4 years 9 months I been socializing much more and have better therapists I have been having a tendency to really overshare with the pastor, friends, therapist and even some of my yoga teachers. I even have the urge when I talk to someone like Kyle which I did during the big dinner. I also have during the two life groups. I even almost done it talking to women I barely know but I tried to control myself.

It's just holding it in and being ignored by women all those years must have twisted my mind somehow.

Yes oversharing can happen.
It is ok that is what it can get like when you are lonely for very long.
After a while you will just pour everything on everyone.
I have experienced it.
I do not just look for a romance, I look for geniune like-minded friends, parental figures.
Like for me I am much more chatty now because I have been lonely for so long with not many people to talk to about everything I was experiencing or just as friends. And because of hyperactivity.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I never really did it until about a few years ago but especially this year I really overshared with many people.

Me too..I do it alot

 

[Neri]

Yep. I have this issue too.

 

[Suzanne]

My college years, was me sitting on a seat, watching others chatting as they went for lunch. My tummy was growling, but I was rooted to my seat. If someone had said: would you like to go and get something to eat, I would have been ok, but for me, to go on my own, was a big no no, so I spent a lot of time starving and yes, oversharing, when someone said hello to me.

I am a little bit better at keeping things to myself now, as it has not gone so well for oversharing.

Although, perhaps that is because I seem to finally have a friend and we talk about everything and I must say: it is a beautiful experience for me, because she does not judge me.

 

[paloftoon]

The best way to go toward sharing is only to try to give a little and see if you get the same back. If you don't get the same back, then that tells you where your friendship is at. Don't try to force it either. If context dictates you to share, then it's okay to share. That balance is never easy and it's different for everyone. Even how you look could have an affect on how well people receive and reciprocate, but personality and independence help a lot too. People don't try to express these nuances because it's too complex and some manipulative people can try to find something to pick on always.

The dean and a few higher admin cared because they were trying to find ways to get you to stay. Maximizing the number of students is indirectly helpful for them, and they have nothing to lose by being nice to you. Also, them supporting you and encouraging you is good for you to try to build your own future. It's a win-win in that minor scenario. It's understandable you weren't able to make it last though.

Remember, you can only depend on yourself, but we have to play this game called Life. You can always gravitate yourself to be a person people want to hang out with and be around. Can't expect people to just come to you. People can sense this.

To minimize how people might treat you horribly, becoming truly independent being able to live on your own and manage your life and finances properly will help your wholesome persona tremendously Best wishes.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Thanks. I just really overshared with my yoga teacher Tashya before she left which was tough on me. Before Wednesday evening class sometimes we would talk for over a half hour and start class late when I was the only student which was often. Then even talk after. I even would share things with her that I would only tell my therapist. She knew I was lonely and wanted a relationship. She even told me if I loved myself and I told her I did not. She said I had to love myself before I could love someone else. I nearly cried that last yoga class when she left. I still text her and even then I overshared in the text about how the women in the park event talked to me and then showed me a picture of her boyfriend which crushed me. She said something back nice and wise.

 

[Au Naturel]

I don't know if this is the cause with me oversharing with people like my friends and even my yoga teachers. But when I was younger, a teenager in hight school then worse college where I was completely ignored I had no one to talk to about my problems. I think the only person I actually talked to was the dean of the college as he and a few of the teachers were the only people there who would actually talk to me. Then I dropped out.

Then I remembered going to a disability work program and only talking to the teacher and work consoler.

I only had a terrible therapist. Then occasionally had some good student therapists I could talk too. I had friends from 2000-2003 that I lost but I was able to share things with. But really after that I held everything in again.

Only now the past 4 years 9 months I been socializing much more and have better therapists I have been having a tendency to really overshare with the pastor, friends, therapist and even some of my yoga teachers. I even have the urge when I talk to someone like Kyle which I did during the big dinner. I also have during the two life groups. I even almost done it talking to women I barely know but I tried to control myself.

It's just holding it in and being ignored by women all those years must have twisted my mind somehow.

Pick and choose who you "overshare" with. Therapists are paid to listen to oversharing. Overshare there. Overshare on the forum where we all have the option to read or not. Some pastors may not mind it if you talk to them in an emotional counseling role. Most people will not react well to oversharing. I live my life pretty much on a need-to-know basis.

Oversharing usually comes from a need for reassurance. You don't like who you are and need someone else to hear your story and still tell you that you are okay. That itch doesn't stay scratched for long, and you do it again.

Most people do not want the role of therapist. Most relationships are facile. Oversharing with them feels like you are pushing a burden on them they don't want.