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  • Feeling low. Sigh. "This too will pass". Nothing lasts, in this life, except Being and even that we get a break from when we sleep. Yay sleep, the ides of that is cheering me up already.
    T
    thejuice
    When I wake up I wish I was just about to go to sleep again
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I went thru a month of just sleeping as much as l could due to things outside of my control. I just thought screw it, sleep is my only release. Then some of the issues passed.
    N
    Neri
    I'm feeling better. Even last night I cheered up. Today I feel good. Life is alive with promise. We just have to intend to clear our own blocks (ie trauma stuff) to experience more of all the goodness we are capable of. Humans are amazing, in all the ways. I am up for this.
    I realized I have to keep my music therapy group going. Its only supposed to be 2 more weeks and then a finale performance slash jam BBQ up an our local mental health facility. I told the organizer and I'm pretty sure we have a good chance of keeping it going indefinitely.
    I made some big realizations with the help of my psychologist today. Kind of depressing ones. Sigh. I have massive "mummy issues". It's been a lifetime of a lot of emotional pain, trust issues, low self esteem and other mental health difficulties and social fear. But, at the same time, I'm in a loving relationship and I kind of feel good about myself. Confusing but true
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    Misty Avich
    Yes I have similar issues, it sounds confusing to others but I get you. I'm glad you're in a loving relationship, you deserve it! X
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Sometime the big realizations are definitely the tough ones, but finally understanding them is what can help us to move on and move forward. Feeling good about yourself despite past traumas and difficulties is a wonderful and hopeful breakthrough. What a great place to be emotionally, and this will give you strength to fully understand your past. 🌈
    Having a restful few days, after some busy days. Music therapy has been amazing and my new exercise with a trainer, also awesome and amazing. My first couple of days to myself for weeks, and I'm feeling a bit mo restored, relaxed and rested. I hope my energy level picks up a lot more t. Sigh. I do have a lot that needs doing here at home. I was heading toward burn out mode, again, and I never want to be there, again.
    My grandbaby son had his first bday party yesterday. Nearly all my immediate tribe were there, 3 of my sons, my kid's Dad, both my daughters, partners, in-laws, my brother, my daughter's friend group with bubbies. It went well. I am exhausted today. My bloke and his son's worked on our place to try to stop us being able to be evicted. They left today. So tired today.
    My youngest ( 18, Autistic and super awesome) son starts work today, in Woolies, at Balaclava, it is a supermarket close to where he lives with my Dad. In Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. He wants to work hard so he can move out and be properly independent. We talk everyday on the phone. I'm so incredibly impressed and awed by how much he's developing his adulting life skills.
    I had a beautiful swim in the creek near my son's house today. :) Lovely ending to a beautiful weekend with my oldest. I can hear cows and birds, as there are cow paddocks and forests all around. His Kelpie girl puppy has really taken to me too. Waiting for my guy to come pick me up now. I can't wait for him to see the place.
    I'm staying with my oldest son, in the country, at his house. It's soooo beautiful here! I came over on Friday and it's Sunday now. Going home today. I love it out here! I hope he wants me back! A lot!
    I was just thinking today "all my kid's are OK, Yay, I can focus on sorting my own life and health more", but, no, two youngest (AuDHD, like me) sons are in emotional slash health crisis' and my guy friend is, too, and my tenancy is at risk. Too much to deal w. So, yeah, sigh. So much energy went into these 3 men this evening. I sometimes wish I wasn't such a good support person, but do I? Nah, s'all good. I guess.
    So, I'm not going to the dance after all. It's a very hot day here, in the 90s, or 30's if you are like me, and use Celsius, and it's forecast to stay hot, into the night. It's just too hot for me to dance safely. Sigh. I paid for my ticket early too.
    Outdated
    Outdated
    Forget Fahrenheit, there's only 3 countries on the planet that still use it.
    I'm going out dancing tonight. It's the genre of music I trained in, as a working musician, so it's my old comfort zone. It goes for 6 hrs so I'll probably be dancing the whole time, pretty much, seeing as I generally don't talk to people in my village. Dancing is one of my oldest forms of connecting with people, before I really knew how to talk to people.
    N
    Neri
    I didn't end up going. It was too hot to dance.
    Talked to my just-moved-to-a-huge-city-from-his-tiny-birth town 18 yr old son today. He is staying with his also-autistic grandfather in Melbourne. He has a job interview tomorrow. He's been there for 2 days and says he already doesn't feel like a tourist. My Dad must be a little thrilled because grandson has a same special interest (linguistics) and is genuinely interested in his grandad's thesis.
    N
    Neri
    My Dad just completed his thesis on early Indo European migratory routes based on linguistics and archeology. I am a proud daughter of an autistic Dad and proud mother of autistic sons, as well.
    I'm having a "busy-time autistic hangover". Not sure how else to describe it. It's an after effect of helping my son move and then attempting to do some things around the house. Sigh. I think I am a sufferer of having permanently altered burn out brain, from being undiagnosed for too long and doing way too much and coping with way too much, for too long. I will attempt to neuroplastically repair my brain, if I can.
    kriss72
    kriss72
    Take care of yourself @Neri , get the rest you need (as I'm sure you know to do)
    Saw my youngest son (18 & autistic) off on a plane to Melbourne yesterday. He's moving there, via staying with my (also autistic) father. Already talked him through his first meltdown. He's amazing and I'm sooo proud of him. I'm also exhausted from supporting him to get there (and raising him and all his older siblings), exhausted but really gratified and satisfied .
    Went out for pizza in my village with my 3 youngest children (25, 22 & 18) grand baby (nearly 10 mths) his daddy and my man, last night. We all had fun. Sigh. Life is good.
    I'm thinking that it must, actually, be Hayfever. Last Sunday was one of those utter hell days of constant sneezing. I got some medicine that seems to be helping. I might have foregone the in laws visit for no good reason, because I don't think I'm infectious.
    N
    Neri
    M
    Misty Avich
    I do take tablets for it every day but if I accidentally miss one I am sure to suffer a flare-up, starting with severe itchy ears and throat, which then starts the sinuses working, and sometimes it can get so bad that by then taking the missing tablet won't work.
    M
    Misty Avich
    It literally looks to other people like I have a very bad cold, but I have to keep saying that it is not a cold. I know the difference between that and a cold, so people are safe to come near me as I'm not contagious.
    Can't wait to be over this sickness. So tired of constantly blowing my nose. It's been 5 weeks or there abouts.
    M
    Mary Terry
    I hope you get well soon, Neri. One of my neighbors, 77 years old, was taken to the hospital yesterday with Covid. It's the third time she's had it but the first time to be hospitalized. I'm worried about her.
    N
    Neri
    I'm sorry to hear that @Mary Terry! I hope she's ok. Thank you for the kind wellwishes. :)
    Had an awesome day! Went to Art&Craft group with my youngest son's new support worker. They did other stuff. He is so cool! We had great convos in the car. Got to talk astrology, neurospicyness, neuroscience, psychedelics & spirituality.He said for his first job, he got lucky, coz he loves those kind of convos and he's not expecting his other clients to be quite so fun.
    I turn 51 today. I'm having a quiet one at home by myself, as my partner is away visiting his fam. But I've had plenty of birthday calls; first by my only brother and my mum, and I got to talk to my youngest sister's daughter~ my niece, that I've never met, my dad, my oldest son, my partner and his mum, and my support worker and youngest daughter sent me lovely texts.
    It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm all alone, which I admit, I have mixed feelings about. For the most part it's a relief, but part of me is a little lonesome. On an up note I'm getting better from my carona virus.
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