I have trouble controlling the volume of my voice

[CyborgSpaceKitten]

For years I have been getting complaints from family and friends that I speak too quietly, and it has gotten to the point where people are starting to get frustrated with me because they have to continually ask me to repeat myself. When I speak at a tone that others think is audible, to me it sounds as though I am speaking very loudly or yelling, and after any extended period of time, hearing myself is too overwhelming for me to deal with. When I speak at a tone that sounds normal and audible to me, people say it sounds like I'm mumbling, or drifting off at the end of my sentences. Does anyone else have problems with this, and/or have any advice for me as to how I should deal with this situation?

 

[Kirsty]

lol this sounds exactly like me. It's frustrating that I have to repeat myself nearly all the time and I think I speak not too loudly or softly.

 

[UberScout]

Hey, don't feel bad. I have that problem too. In fact I'm DOING IT RIGHT NOW without even knowing it.

 

[kay]

Oh, yes! I used to be called Squeak because I was so quiet, like a little mouse. No one could ever hear me. I got louder as I got older so now it's not as much a problem, but still, I am quieter than average.
No idea how I got louder, wish I could tell you.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

For years I have been getting complaints from family and friends that I speak too quietly, and it has gotten to the point where people are starting to get frustrated with me because they have to continually ask me to repeat myself. When I speak at a tone that others think is audible, to me it sounds as though I am speaking very loudly or yelling,

Maybe you need to go into your settings/options menu and adjust your vocal parameters

Not sure if it's still the case but I was the opposite to you and occasionally spoke a bit louder than I needed to in public places as I like to enunciate and project my voice, though not excessively. I have an NT sister who tends to mumble/mutter parts of her sentences quietly and everyone claims they cannot hear all she said. Perhaps you're just a timid person.

 

[CyborgSpaceKitten]

So I know I started this thread a while ago, but it just has been getting worse and worse. It's gotten to the point where my father has threatened to stop listening when I speak, if I can't "put the effort in to speak audibly" and I'm getting in trouble for it constantly. It's very upsetting. This morning, I got yelled at the second I got out of my room in the morning and said "good morning", for not saying it loud enough. It was awful.

 

[Fitzo]

Maybe you need to go into your settings/options menu and adjust your vocal parameters

Not sure if it's still the case but I was the opposite to you and occasionally spoke a bit louder than I needed to in public places as I like to enunciate and project my voice, though not excessively. I have an NT sister who tends to mumble/mutter parts of her sentences quietly and everyone claims they cannot hear all she said. Perhaps you're just a timid person.

Yes I'm like you and have been told off for speaking too loudly which I never think I am. I wonder if it's because I'm always trying to turn down the volume on my internal dialogue

 

[CyborgSpaceKitten]

To me, when I speak 'audibly' it sounds to me like I'm yelling, so it seems absolutely absurd when people say they can't hear me.

 

[Katleya]

How is your hearing? Any chance that you might pick up sounds that most people wouldn't hear? That could explain why you hear yourself at a normal volume (of course, it may also very well be that the people you talk to don't hear so well either).

I don't have a lot of advice to offer; I have the opposite problem, I'm usually loud when I try to speak softly, and louder still when I get carried away. I was thinking maybe speech therapy could help you, but I have a feeling it's going to cost an awful lot of money, so maybe it's not the easiest, fastest solution.
That being said: people trade everything nowadays, perhaps you could exchange a couple of sessions with a voice coach for something? Even one of those coaches for actors could help with finding a level that you and the people around you are comfortable with.

 

[pjcnet]

For me it's also the opposite, I get constant complaints that I'm shouting, yet to myself the volume of my voice sounds normal. If I then consciously lower my voice to a level that people I know say is normal it sounds like I can't hear myself and I'm itching to raise the volume thinking no-one can hear me. It's worst when I get anxious and I've been in various situations where this has been mistaken for aggression getting me into very difficult situations, E.g. I've had security called at a reception desk when I thought I was calmly explaining a complaint and it's rare that they understand when I then try to explain that it's asperger syndrome and I'm not being aggressive, at least not until later when a support worker gets involved and contacts the organisation / people involved.

 

[Fitzo]

For me it's also the opposite, I get constant complaints that I'm shouting, yet to myself the volume of my voice sounds normal. If I then consciously lower my voice to a level that people I know say is normal it sounds like I can't hear myself and I'm itching to raise the volume thinking no-one can hear me. It's worst when I get anxious and I've been in various situations where this has been mistaken for aggression getting me into very difficult situations, E.g. I've had security called at a reception desk when I thought I was calmly explaining a complaint and it's rare that they understand when you then try to explain that it's asperger syndrome, at least not until later when a support worker gets involved and contacts the organisation / people involved.

Yes exactly. Raised voice= aggression. So they don't even hear what you're actually saying.

 

[Gamma V]

I also have a problem with speaking too loudly, which annoys my parents constantly. In my own mind, though, I'm speaking at a normal volume. I do like to listen to a lot of loud music and the like, so maybe I have hearing loss. I hope I don't. I'm only 33.

 

[paloftoon]

I have a real good idea for this. Look for a way to record yourself, then listen to yourself and see how loud you sound. Probably can be done through the computer if you have a mic on your computer. Most computers have internal mics and people don't even realize it.

You can practice if you think you sound too loud.

 

[hopeisnotlost]

So I know I started this thread a while ago, but it just has been getting worse and worse. It's gotten to the point where my father has threatened to stop listening when I speak, if I can't "put the effort in to speak audibly" and I'm getting in trouble for it constantly. It's very upsetting. This morning, I got yelled at the second I got out of my room in the morning and said "good morning", for not saying it loud enough. It was awful.

That's awful. I do have an issue with controlling the volume of my voice.I sound either too loud or too quiet even through my tone seems normal to me and maybe you need to work on speaking but honestly your parents need to try to help you speak better if it annoys them that much not threaten not to listen to you.How in any way would yelling at you help you?It wouldn't. It would make it worse not better

I have a real good idea for this. Look for a way to record yourself, then listen to yourself and see how loud you sound. Probably can be done through the computer if you have a mic on your computer. Most computers have internal mics and people don't even realize it.

You can practice if you think you sound too loud.

I second this. It might help but I don't know.I'm going to look up some things online and see if I can send it to you.

 

[hopeisnotlost]

ok so I can't find anything on it yet.I'll keep looking through-hopefully I'll dig something up!

 

[Keigan]

Try reaching out to www.voicepowerstudios.com I think she offers a free assessment. Any free assessment would probably provide you with a better baseline for applicable volume levels for your voice.

 

[moonchild22]

I have the same problem as you, but I either speak too quietly or too loudly

 

[owlet]

I also speak too quietly, to the point that my sister will help me out by ordering for me in restaurants because the waiters can never hear me if there's any kind of background noise. I also got into trouble at one job because I was caught speaking too quietly to a customer (even though the customer could hear me just fine). Apparently you can train yourself to project your voice by altering the pitch, which I managed to do for a while, but it was tiring.

 

[CyborgSpaceKitten]

I also speak too quietly, to the point that my sister will help me out by ordering for me in restaurants because the waiters can never hear me if there's any kind of background noise. I also got into trouble at one job because I was caught speaking too quietly to a customer (even though the customer could hear me just fine). Apparently you can train yourself to project your voice by altering the pitch, which I managed to do for a while, but it was tiring.

Yeah, and whenever I try to control the volume, my own voice is too loud and gets overwhelming to me very quickly

 

[OnyxM]

Hey everyone! Happy new year to all!

How many of you have this difficulty? Controlling the volume of your voice properly and not coming out too 'loud' or too 'low' all the time?

I've been told many times that I speak louder than I should. I also laugh weird and loud sometimes and people tell me and I don't realize it which ends in me getting frustrated that I always have to 'control' myself around others. I think this voice control thing is actually an issue with autism so I'm curious how many people have that. And if you do, did you come to realize it or do others tell you about it?