I had enough of faith and belief in God

[AspieChris]

If there is a ‘God’ (I’m not saying there isn’t), then every religion since time began must be wrong except 1. They can’t all be correct.

I feel like native Americans had it right. God is everything and everywhere. I feel closest to what I believe to be ‘God’ when I’m swimming in the ocean or sitting under a tree.

My wife was raised Catholic. But we were denied a church wedding because I’m not baptized. I was also later denied to be my nephew’s GodFather for the same reason. And I witnessed the church clerk demand that congregation hurry up and send in their quarterly donation envelopes in the middle of a Sunday morning sermon. She no longer calls herself a Catholic.

The Vatican is it’s own country, yet produces and exports nothing but religion. Sounds like a pretty lucrative business to me.

 

[Dagan]

On basically the same level, I have way too many times asked why a supposed, one true God ever even once allowed any other God (ideas) to exist to whatever other people elsewhere..? What sense does it make to reveal yourself and exact prophecy, etc. to just one race of people in just one area of the world? This alone promotes that either said God only cared about one race of people...or never knew the others existed. Both are paradoxes to any popular God's claimed abilities of omnipotence. It also promotes racism and allows elitism, arrogance, pride, etc....all those things none of us are supposed to feel or enact (because God doesn't like them). Let's just go with the wild idea that perhaps God does only care about one race of people. Well, then per all of us not that race but believers of it all...how bad and stupid do we start feeling at the realization of that? Technically, the Gods of the major texts that are practiced in the world...they absolutely talk about favoring just that one race. Yes, they loosely...generally...do include all of the rest of us for eternal glory...but it's quite after the fact...like a long, long time after the fact of the primary race's glory and heavenly riches occur, first. There's tribulations of sorts for the bulk of us before we get anything "promised." Apparently, the whole being a carpenter thing took root with God, as the bulk of who first get into heaven will serve as builders for the new heaven. Again, I'm just the messenger here. This information is in each text. Read them. Each text (and different books of the same ones) list different specifics - different amounts of said population and so on.

Overall, it results in the same outcome for someone like me. I will have just one simple question, and in looking for / finding it according to a text, I'm suddenly on a domino effect of more and more questions with limitless incomplete answers (or just no answers at all). It's annoying to be told by some clergy that I'm not meant to understand it all. Well, why even write all of this stuff to even try explaining it any, then!?!?!?! It seriously just becomes like living in Monty Python's Life of Brian.

 

[AspieChris]

Maybe the Mormons have it right. Polygamy. So I could disappoint multiple women at the same time!

 

[Dagan]

Ha. That's actually a small faction of the Mormons that ever did that, believe it or not. As with many spoke groups associated with a bigger sum...the more dramatic they are perceived or actually are...the more popular. It's their denomination's black eye or black sheep, if you will.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

My opinions...but they are based on facts:


ALL God(s) equal to a paradox, indeed.

God(s) always make so many demands of us - always asking or putting the burden for proof, faith, belief, worship on "us" - we aren't allowed to ask or demand such in return, though..? That's rather narcissistic convenience don't you think? It shouldn't be hard to comprehend that said God(s) doesn't want to give much...instead is constantly making demands and constantly wants, needs, desires, takes... Nothing about such a being should be considered perfect or what any of us should want to be like. "Perfection" in and of itself, the very definition, it will never need or want...ever. It is, always has and always will have everything. It does not and should not need, want or desire your love, your worship, your penance, your tithes, etc. etc. etc. That text's God is beyond a paradox...or just a really powerful asshole narcissist.

Per the bible itself, think of any of the 85 sins listed. Sins...and yet that God does every single one of them and multiple times. Wrath, Boasting, Unforgiveness, Wickedness, Pride, Jealousy, Jesting, Fathers asking their children for wrath, Desiring praise of men, etc. etc. etc. Paradox / contradictions.

The fact that you even question a single thing about God should let you know that it's not perfect, it's not clear to you, it's not in control (unless you consider the chaos of uncertainty controlling your thoughts, which is absolutely not a "good" thing, assuredly), and it doesn't "move in you." Arguably, the only "moves" with you could be seen as making you a pawn...but it's likely this way because of devout / zealous believer types in better standing tend to be that way with the lesser fortunate believers. It's very much grooming and conditioning tactics. Intelligence agencies and high governments use the same methods to get what they want. They learned it from a history of church records dating back to the Vatican on how to infiltrate and take control of whole empires. It's rather tried and true. I want no part of such a thing.

Such a method is exactly stated in this thread. "We are made to suffer." That's horrible - no one should just be so defeated that they accept that, and worse is that it's a sign of abuse - Stockholm syndrome, essentially. Especially when others in this world just happen to be better off in any way, shape or form...I demand to know what's the point? What is the lesson for me? What lesson are the better off learning in comparison? Is the lesson that God likes to be random and let people be snobs with everything...and then others of us get to be angry because we struggle so much that we have trouble finding good spirits? Also, doesn't it come across as the most infuriating contradiction that if you seriously want more good people to die, go to heaven, join the flock and eventually fight armageddon against those souls from Hell....that you would actually do a lot to prevent said people from being miserable, angry and eventually choosing or resorting to hating not only you but also their fellow kind - even going to heinous lengths at times to try getting ahead..?!?!?!?!? Said God is absolutely creating an exponentially greater army against it. Again...a huge paradox. The only way that isn't a contradiction is if it's all being done on purpose, and that would make that God an even bigger, prideful, arrogant A-hole...just building its own challenge to face...like some kid with a video game that gets to decide the map and hardness level. I just can't sit well with that.

Watch the world news this very minute, even. What are these people doing?!?!? The very same races of people who even came up with and originally told Biblical / Judeo stories are exactly who still can't get along at all...ever. I don't see any love going on. I don't see anything but sin. I see a huge paradox going on from the very people who created the major religions in this world and are constantly trying to get more people to buy into them. I see absolutely no proof of their Gods. And I hope no one thinks of pointing out "miracles" like a handful of kids were spared under tons of blasted concrete. What!? That's a pitiful excuse for positive perspective, and yet it happens a lot...always seemingly some small bit of good that comes out of an enormous, heinous act (that no God(s) should have ever let happen in the first place), and "that's" their proof of a loving, caring God...?!?!?!?! Nah. I'm smarter than that.

I'm constantly reading, researching, trying to make it all make sense...but the only sense I have found is that none of them are to be trusted any more than Grimm's Fairy Tales. There are lessons here and there, yes, but they aren't what you should base your entire existence upon because doing so just creates powerful armies that eventually try to eradicate any others for dominance. Break it all back down to its core, though, and you understand that all of it was done because it creates economies...it's about making money...and either you literally bought into it...or like me you refuse to.

You are right, he is evil and his actions show that.
If he expects you to be something you are not and tries to hunt you and make you fall then that is evil.
You should be free to express how you want and he should treat you the right way and he should make sure there is people out there who genuinely love you and you have a right to be loved by people who care about you and want to see you happy.
You should be able to express how you want to express and be who you want to be and there is no evil in that.
He should love you every second for how you are and not try to say you are like your enemies because some people are just not that mean.
It is not your fault you should be able to just do your best and live your life and be left alone.
And the way to heaven should be just having faith, genuinely loving God, if you read the bible interpreting it the way that works for you and helps you and trying your best to be a good person.
Not some rigid systems of teaching or testing you have to follow or not doing sins which are actually part of your personality like listening to heavy metal or having tattoos.
I am sorry but I have just got frustrated by having to feel not enough everyday by a Christian faith I follow, have to be friendly with people who are not my cup of tea or are too negative for me, having disabilities then being used and abused by someone who is supposed to love me and be for me in some capacity when I have trauma, having to suck it up when I have needs not being met, worshipping someone who claims to be faithful then shows otherwise when I do not understand, says I have an ego based on my looks when I have never looked down on anyone in my life what just to please other woman who obviously have an ego then be fed some lies every woman is like that and I do not believe that..I am over the lies I get fed everyday in faith to relate to some NT
That I cannot relate to.
Anyway if I followed a faith, I know you may not get everything you desire but I certainly would never follow someone who conceals truths or betrays when I have been faithful my whole life just because I am struggling and have trauma
If I do struggle then I would expect someone who understands the pain of it.
If he makes difficult people do not expect me to be a victim of their difficulty because I will never believe all people are like that.
I would expect a God who loves and shows compassion at all times
And loves you even when you are traumatized and hurt and mad at him.
So I do struggle to believe in a God that does not help you and be faithful to you and love you st each moment even when you push him away or hurt others because of trauma or have feelings that you only want as yours.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Maybe the Mormons have it right. Polygamy. So I could disappoint multiple women at the same time!

Polygamy us not always wrong depending on your view also there may be people out there who chose not to get married or have s soulmate but just live alone or with others like friends in a platonic way like asexuals who do not like that intimacy at all.
Who's to say it does not exist some asexuals may never want to have intimate relations with others because they do not like it or it does not appeal to.them.

 

[AspieChris]

Polygamy us not always wrong depending on your view also there may be people out there who chose not to get married or have s soulmate but just live alone or with others like friends in a platonic way like asexuals who do not like that intimacy at all.
Who's to say it does not exist some asexuals may never want to have intimate relations with others because they do not like it or it does not appeal to.them.

Sounds like you took that wrong. I was only joking. I don’t judge anyone’s choices or try to influence the way they live (as long as nobody’s getting hurt).

 

[Wolfnox]

You are right, he is evil and his actions show that.
If he expects you to be something you are not and tries to hunt you and make you fall then that is evil.
You should be free to express how you want and he should treat you the right way and he should make sure there is people out there who genuinely love you and you have a right to be loved by people who care about you and want to see you happy.
You should be able to express how you want to express and be who you want to be and there is no evil in that.
He should love you every second for how you are and not try to say you are like your enemies because some people are just not that mean.
It is not your fault you should be able to just do your best and live your life and be left alone.
And the way to heaven should be just having faith, genuinely loving God, if you read the bible interpreting it the way that works for you and helps you and trying your best to be a good person.
Not some rigid systems of teaching or testing you have to follow or not doing sins which are actually part of your personality like listening to heavy metal or having tattoos.
I am sorry but I have just got frustrated by having to feel not enough everyday by a Christian faith I follow, have to be friendly with people who are not my cup of tea or are too negative for me, having disabilities then being used and abused by someone who is supposed to love me and be for me in some capacity when I have trauma, having to suck it up when I have needs not being met, worshipping someone who claims to be faithful then shows otherwise when I do not understand, says I have an ego based on my looks when I have never looked down on anyone in my life what just to please other woman who obviously have an ego then be fed some lies every woman is like that and I do not believe that..I am over the lies I get fed everyday in faith to relate to some NT
That I cannot relate to.
Anyway if I followed a faith, I know you may not get everything you desire but I certainly would never follow someone who conceals truths or betrays when I have been faithful my whole life just because I am struggling and have trauma
If I do struggle then I would expect someone who understands the pain of it.
If he makes difficult people do not expect me to be a victim of their difficulty because I will never believe all people are like that.
I would expect a God who loves and shows compassion at all times
And loves you even when you are traumatized and hurt and mad at him.
So I do struggle to believe in a God that does not help you and be faithful to you and love you st each moment even when you push him away or hurt others because of trauma or have feelings that you only want as yours.

You’re kinda of all over the place. Still struggling?

 

[Neri]

You are right, he is evil and his actions show that.
If he expects you to be something you are not and tries to hunt you and make you fall then that is evil.
You should be free to express how you want and he should treat you the right way and he should make sure there is people out there who genuinely love you and you have a right to be loved by people who care about you and want to see you happy.
You should be able to express how you want to express and be who you want to be and there is no evil in that.
He should love you every second for how you are and not try to say you are like your enemies because some people are just not that mean.
It is not your fault you should be able to just do your best and live your life and be left alone.
And the way to heaven should be just having faith, genuinely loving God, if you read the bible interpreting it the way that works for you and helps you and trying your best to be a good person.
Not some rigid systems of teaching or testing you have to follow or not doing sins which are actually part of your personality like listening to heavy metal or having tattoos.
I am sorry but I have just got frustrated by having to feel not enough everyday by a Christian faith I follow, have to be friendly with people who are not my cup of tea or are too negative for me, having disabilities then being used and abused by someone who is supposed to love me and be for me in some capacity when I have trauma, having to suck it up when I have needs not being met, worshipping someone who claims to be faithful then shows otherwise when I do not understand, says I have an ego based on my looks when I have never looked down on anyone in my life what just to please other woman who obviously have an ego then be fed some lies every woman is like that and I do not believe that..I am over the lies I get fed everyday in faith to relate to some NT
That I cannot relate to.
Anyway if I followed a faith, I know you may not get everything you desire but I certainly would never follow someone who conceals truths or betrays when I have been faithful my whole life just because I am struggling and have trauma
If I do struggle then I would expect someone who understands the pain of it.
If he makes difficult people do not expect me to be a victim of their difficulty because I will never believe all people are like that.
I would expect a God who loves and shows compassion at all times
And loves you even when you are traumatized and hurt and mad at him.
So I do struggle to believe in a God that does not help you and be faithful to you and love you st each moment even when you push him away or hurt others because of trauma or have feelings that you only want as yours.

This post makes me think that perhaps you are reexamining some of your beliefs and dogmas you have previously held because they are no longer serving you well enough.

Perhaps you are on the brink of a major life change?

Toward a life and social supports that fit you better than the ones you have now (or more accurately, perhaps, Don't have).

You get to choose your beliefs
You get to choose the kind of life you want for yourself

Once you figure that out, you can start looking around for ways to move closer into that life until you find you are in a much better place.

You will know when you feel better that you are on the right track.

Nothing is perfect in this life, but that doesn't mean you can't find a life, and a mindset that isn't a better fit.
Ok too many double negatives...what I mean to say is ..Given effort on your part, to commit to finding a way to make your life work for you, better than it is now ..you don't have to take others word for "How life is" YOU define your life for yourself.
You can ASK and receive. Just cause it came from the Bible doesn't mean it ain't true.
Ask your self
What do I really want in life?
What might it take for me to achieve it?
Figure out your own priorities.
Figure out what resources you can access.
Discard what no longer works for you.
Give yourself the care and consideration you would someone you really care about.
If you don't care and respect yourself, how can you expect any one else to?
"God" at this point is an idea, a concept in your head. It's not a felt experience.
Love, real loving kindness IS a real thing.
That is "Of God" but that is just words. Words are only representative, they are not the real thing.
God isn't a concept, except when it is. God is Life, Reality, it is the I AM that I AM. It is not outside of us and it is not separate from us.
It is the seen and the unseen. It is more than any of us can comprehend. But loving kindness can be FELT. Maybe bible doctrine is not helping you, so expand, seek other sources of inspiration. God is not limited to the words in the bible. That would be "worshipping a false Idol. The bible is not God. God is God. God is LOVE beyond anything you've ever experienced.

 

[AprilR]

In my mind this world/life, what we experience here is seperate from what we "deserve" I don't believe in good things happen to good people.

In fact, the opposite is true to me. God puts us through trials and hardships that we go through, to make our spirit stronger. Hardships and good things both come to people without reason. If there is a reason it is not my place to know it, at least in this life. When i think about it, i received so many things from God without putting in any effort. I feel undeserving of them sometimes. But since God gave them to me, i am grateful and i am always trying to preserve that feeling of gratefulness. The more grateful you are, the more God gives you in my experience.

 

[Alexej]

To be honest it has to do with His holy spirit and the fact He chose me for faith but forgot to give me all it's gifts

you are not alone in struggling with the gifts of the Spirit - I dont get that aspect of the faith either.

 

[Alexej]

I had enough of a God in the sky that abuses me to find some flaws and pulls me apart on my physical appearance.
I am so against anyone being victimised on their body

I understand that God has promised you to themselves (cf Hosea 2:21-22)

This might be easier for a gal to understand than a guy, but truth is the truth

 

[The Pandector]

you are not alone in struggling with the gifts of the Spirit - I dont get that aspect of the faith either.

Yes, it's a mystery, but we are given to understand it to some extent. Paul exhorted Christians to pray for the greater gifts, implying we're not certain to get our full allotment at (spiritual) birth. Jesus taught in parable and plain speech that we're to use whatever gift(s) we have been given, and can anticipate reward for proper utilization of the gifts, to include greater gifts and expanding ministries.

Paul taught in detail about the reality of the gifts, regardless of the beliefs or practices of the believer. Your assignment in the body of Christ is determined by the Holy Spirit, which is to say, your gifts are assigned by him. Paul expands the human body analogy by saying, 'If you're a hand, you're a hand regardless of whether you like it or believe it.' You may wish you were given some other assignment, but part of your assignment is to come to grips with the fact that the Spirit knows what he's doing.

Now for the profoundly useless advice. Prayerfully figure out what the Lord is trying to do through you. Hint: it will be in service to others. I understand where @lovely_darlingprettybaby is coming from, saying she wasn't given the full deal on spiritual gifts; spiritual life, but not the full complement of spiritual gifts. According to the Bible, she was given her first loadout at salvation time. As Jesus and Paul pointed out, some servants will think their responsibilities too light to be taken seriously, but Jesus expects us to trust the Spirit. Trust is the key.

Anyway, not to preach, but that's my understanding. Be aware that many mainstream thinkers believe the bestowal of spiritual gifts ceased with the writing of the NT, or at its canonization or whatever. Not my view, but a pretty common one. Contact privately for Scriptural references.

 

[Alexej]

An article I found that might be of general interest

Disability and the Gifts of the Spirit - Amos Yong

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

you are not alone in struggling with the gifts of the Spirit - I dont get that aspect of the faith either.

Me either but I kind of understand it but do not experience all of them, it just has to do with peace, joy, love. The Holy Spirit works with you to renew the mind.
But I do not experience all of it for a Christian.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

An article I found that might be of general interest

Disability and the Gifts of the Spirit - Amos Yong

It terms of do I see disability as part of illness, I do not prefer to see disabilities as illness to do with evil or the devil, I see them as blessings or different ways of thinking or being.
I think maybe diversity is part of God’s will, not the devil’s.
People do not like what they cannot understand it I know some people probably struggle to understand but so do autistics.

 

[Alexej]

Me either but I kind of understand it but do not experience all of them, it just has to do with peace, joy, love. The Holy Spirit works with you to renew the mind.
But I do not experience all of it for a Christian.

I understand that there are gifts, and that some people do experience them. I have been in contexts where the gifts are used, but it is not my experience that I have operated in a "gifting" (cf 1 Cor 12)

The pedant in me reacts to

peace, joy, love

since these are fruits of the Spirit - but what reaction would you expect on AutismForums?

 

[Streetwise]

Why does anyone want to believe in a god that is supposedly good, loving and caring when they clearly are none of those things? A god that lets horrible things happen to innocent people for no good reason or brutally punishes them for trivial reasons? Like for example people during the Black Death would go to church and basically be like, "Hey Lord, can you please take away this horrible plague you gave us because you're such a good and loving god? I don't know what exactly we did to deserve such a horrific disease, but whatever it was, we're sorry already, okay?"

And that's all I can say.

so you've said no! to jhvh

 

[Mikah]

The gifts of Christianity are entirely spiritual. The idea that God is a good times vending machine - insert prayer, receive treat - is quite damaging. When that belief inevitably collides with reality it can turn people down very dark roads.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

It is very easy to feel our Creator does not care a jot about us; especially when we cry out and feel that He has not answered and the situation has not changed, but that is because of actually not knowing Him very well.

I am a person who can have anyone as a friend; however, somehow, my personality must put many off, for all the affection I do not receive.

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I hate being unwell and have not been rendered in bed for years, but yesterday, found myself not being able to function as normal.

My husband had gone to check on his elderly clients, to see if they needed help, due the recent storm.

My faith has a whatsapp group and often post on there. I am unable to, because I feel too exposed. So, whilst I am in bed, in agony, I read that my husband is a star, because of helping everone out and yet, I am alone, in bed, in pain and he is helping others and yep, I felt very unhappy and whilst sobbing, I went to my God ( who's name in English, is Jehovah) and explained how alone I feel and frightened, because sadly, many year's ago now, when I was in contact with a niece, her gran ( mother) hated always if any member wanted to get close to me and so would say vicious things to get them stop communicating with me. Unfortunately, my niece goes and relates what her gran said about me and at first, I laughed, but sadly, her words echo. She said to her own niece, about her own daughter. I wouldn't contact her. She is evil and only trying to drag you in, because she is ALONE. Nobody cares about her, whereas your mother is never alone, so she is a far better person than your auntie! She also attacked my faith, because my niece was showing interest. However, her unkind words, tend to echo, because in fact, I am mostly alone!

I even said to my husband that if I did not have a husband, I would be able to deal better; but being married, one does expect certain actions from their partner, which adds to my loneliness.

Anyway, the point is, that I cried out for my husband to return, and not long after that prayer, my husband arrived home and said he had the urge to return.

This morning, on my google feed, there is an article from my faith, quoting Galations 6:9 which talks about continuing to do good to others, even if they show no appreciation, because you are following your Heavenly Father.

Bascially, our Creator answers in all different ways, but one has to get to know Him, in order to recognise those different ways, which are often subtle.

He is close to the brokenhearted ones and I know this, because I often feel Him carrying me. He knows us better than ourselves and thus, knows the intentions of our heart.

I also feel often that He must hate me, because of my aspie traits, but in fact, He loves me even more because of those traits.

If anyone is not showing love to the lowly one, than Jehovah does not show love to them.

Message me privately and I will give you our website.

This is the God I serve, i have suffered more than anyone can conceive or understand through trials and abuse
i have keep faith and tried not to complain too much.
I am fine suffering but it is painful and hard for some autistics because they get traumatised easier and often need support and help and I have not often had a lot in the ways I would need.
I just do not understand is all, I have held my dreams for a long time
and I do not understand the kinds of rubbish He spews from High places or the things I experience.
before this things were great but I was still very broken and a highly sensitive person.
do I think rage and emotional regression and going back to playing barbies like a school child with no interest in barbies before is normal…no
I am trying to get better, it shows no person is superhuman and everyone needs help and compassion and has limitations at times. I am only truly human who has been unwell who does their best and that is all I can do.
I know everyone goes through hardships but I do not believe in a God that is not tender hearted and expects you to be strong all the time, too hard for someone with disabilities
I have had a really bad year but I am trying to cling to my blessings and hope they are good.
I second guess and regret a lot of decisions but I have been at home unwell a lot and had a lot of time to get lost in my head too which is not always positive for a person to overthink everything and question everything..as they say curiosity killed the cat.
and I have been extremely unwell the last few years without any genuine support.