How lonely and alone are you?

[Peace]

Hang in there you. There are always dark times. They always seem the longest, and the good time always seem the shortest. Things will get better again,. then they will get worse again. It is the cycle of life. It gets light, then it gets dark. It gets dry, then it rains.
We cannot do anything about what happens in life, but we can choose how we will react to it.

Right now, at least, I feel very alone. My mom and I just got in a stupid fight and we just came back from seeing her annoying relatives. Very bad day, and I feel no one will listen to me but my snake. That's right... now, she's the only one keeping me company. For awhile I locked myself in my room and just held her and laid on the bed. I went on here to calm my nerves, though. I'm just holed up in my computer room and being even more reclusive than ever... In general, I feel pretty isolated, but today is exceptionally bad.

 

[Craig]

I don't have emotions, so it's difficult to accurately judge and explain my feelings (if any) to another person.

I believe that I feel at my most loneliest when I'm in a room full of people, and that I feel the least lonely when I am in fact alone.

As to actually being alone? Very much so. I live alone in a large two bedroom house, there's is rabbit and the robots, but they make for poor conversationalists. I work alongside 35 people, all of whom are either wearing a type one, or a two hazmat suit. Only the type one's have microphones, and those who use the type one, are those who work in the most dangerous parts of the facility, with the most dangerous chemicals and gases, it is not a place for idle chatter, but instead stone cold silence emanates through the labs and down the corridors.

Some people have declared the silence to be maddening and subsequently quit, deciding that the money wasn't worth all the hassle (the silence is the least of your troubles) and don't even give their two weeks notice.

Personally, I find the silence calming, there is a grace and serenity to it. Looking all around, I see the Engineers, Scientists and Automated Robots working diligently. They all know what they have to do, and they do it, there is no need for communication. It's the dream job for someone like me, well us I suppose.

 

[AKweathergirl]

Hello,
I work on an incredibly isolated, exploratory, oil platform on the Arctic Ocean. We have had to have emergency helo flights to airlift people that have gone bonkers from the isolation (no internet, phone, radio, TV, running water for the first few months). I don't mind it at all. I also love, love, LOVE my NT husband. You could maroon me on an atoll for a year and I am pretty sure I wouldn't mind so long as I had food. Yet I get butterflies in my chest every time I see my hubby of 5 years. So I don't ever necessarily feel lonely, yet I meld very well with my NT husband. Har! Life sure is strange, isn't it?
BTW I have a score of 173 on that Aspie test.
AKweathergirl

 

[Craig]

We have had to have emergency helo flights to airlift people...

I've seen my fair share of Emergency Helicopters in my line of work, though I would imagine it to be a lot worse out at sea.

 

[balder]

I consider myself a very lonely person, since I never find people to talk about things that interest me. I use to talk about programming and philophical stuff with one friend and about general things with my brother. I talk to everyone else only for convenience.

 

[Historianthomas]

Before my girlfriend and my close friend, I would say I felt very lonely. I frequently wrote in my journal at the time that I felt very lonely. I had a hand in some online friends and a pen pal. Before long, however, they all faded away since I didn't get my emotional needs met. More importantly, I was very immature at the time, so I would have not known what I was really looking for. It was only in my thirties did I realize what I truly needed. Sometimes I am alone, but not as lonely anymore

 

[Explosition_Rooster]

Oh yes, I am very lonely, even though I have some of the best friends both on and off of this site, but that doesn't stop the feelings.

This has made it difficult to make and keep friends, since I tend to get a bit... clingy around them, which sometimes scares them off. But at least the internet has made it easier for me to contact others. It's just so awesome when it comes to finding people to socialize with, but that doesn't really help when everyone has a life and you don't.

 

[oscar2012]

Your making a start by being on the forum you can only go forward and get stronger and more confident in yourself

 

[oscar2012]

the more you chat about things the more you will start to feel better in yourself you are already doing this by being on this forum rooster

 

[nonsensical]

If it's any indication, I have just discovered what the 'Home' and 'End' keys on my keyboard do. Spoiler: they make your browser go to the top and bottom of the page.

*sigh*

Kidding aside, I have my good and bad days. I know I'm far more capable of surviving in solitude than most people, but there are days I would give just about anything to have somebody around to keep me company. If I didn't have my dog to come home to every night I would be seriously depressed instead just lonely.

 

[Hadassah]

@nonsensical I can totally relate! My dogs have seriously helped me with my loneliness.

I socialize, because that's how humans are supposed to be like, right? But I do very often realize that this is so not me, or that I feel uncomfortable in the situation. And by the situation I mean random gatherings, where there are friends of my friends and especially if there are a lot of guys/men how talk about guy-stuff, then I really dislike being there. But if I hadn't tried to be normal and socialize, I wouldn't have found the few good friends that I have and can connect with! So it has all been worth it.

 

[Judge]

?A winter?s day, in a deep and dark December. I am alone gazing from my window to the streets below on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. I?ve built walls, a fortress deep and mighty that none may penetrate. I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain, it?s laughter and it?s loving I disdain. I am a rock, I am an island. Don?t talk of love, well I?ve heard the words before, it?s sleeping in my memory and I won?t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried. I am a rock, I am an island. I have my books and my poetry to protect me. I am shielded in my armor, hiding in my room, safe within my womb, I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock, I am an island.

And a rock can feel no pain. And an island never cries.?

-Paul Simon

Sadly it's just not true. At least for me.

 

[Hadassah]

?A winter?s day, in a deep and dark December. I am alone gazing from my window to the streets below on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. I?ve built walls, a fortress deep and mighty that none may penetrate. I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain, it?s laughter and it?s loving I disdain. I am a rock, I am an island. Don?t talk of love, well I?ve heard the words before, it?s sleeping in my memory and I won?t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried. I am a rock, I am an island. I have my books and my poetry to protect me. I am shielded in my armor, hiding in my room, safe within my womb, I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock, I am an island.

And a rock can feel no pain. And an island never cries.?

-Paul Simon.

That was really, really beautiful :,(

 

[Judge]

That was really, really beautiful :,(

Sometimes music says it all.

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Father Mckenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father Mckenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)
Where do they all belong?

-John Lennon and Paul McCartney

 

[ghoulbler]

I feel lonelier now that I don't have a laptop and need to use my parent's computer, which is in their room. Everyone is always coming in and out and trying to talk to me and I feel very claustrophobic. For some reason, being around people makes me feel very lonely. I suppose it's because I rarely ever feel "connected" to anyone, and so being around them just emphasizes that feeling. If I'm alone with a computer then I feel a lot better. I can concentrate better and I don't feel like I'm in the spotlight.
Loneliness can be a complicated emotion. You can be in a room full of people and feel more alone there as opposed to actually being alone doing whatever it is you find most enjoyable.
I just want to be alone in my room. I want quiet.

 

[Explosition_Rooster]

Oddly enough, I think that I'm the most NT of all of us in that I want to have friends, even though I suffer from just straight fear when it comes to talking to other people, which makes it hard to have friends.

Truthfully, I haven't really felt anything when it comes to being alone or being in company but I can point to several times in which I just wanted to be alone.

 

[Gulas]

I used to think I don't need friends or other people. That I was a special human, who don't need others. That I could numb the pain of interacting with others with avoidance.

The trick is that these are partially truth. Yes, I don't need friends to survive. Yes, I can numb the pain with isolation, but by doing so, also numb the joy, the connection. Claiming that I don't have to deal with others was a denial state of loneliness.

I believe balance is the key. I don't need others EVERY single day of my life. But mantaining contact twice a week with people that matter it's fine for me. I also feel lonely when I don't have a purpose for the day, no good games to play, no work to do, or when I try to avoid work by procastinating. Loneliness is more of a state of mind rather than how many people you talk.

 

[Judge]

I'm good with just a very small core of people who have real importance to me.

However through death, changes in jobs and moving away nearly all of them are all gone.

 

[ifightdragons]

I'm not as alone as I sometimes wish I was, but I am so incredibly lonely it's downright hard to fathom.

Reading these posts invokes a somber lay, I wish you all the very best.

 

[Soup]

I have too many people around me at home sometimes. They seem to be buzzing about like flies. My elderly parents live in our home & it can be tough dealing with them all the time. My dad is doddery & 89, my mother is extremely anxious, chatty & 77. Since her short term memory is failing, she often repeats the same things over & over & asks the same questions multiple times. Then, too, she becomes very irritated over nothing. With my husband &adult daughter also in the house (add 2 dogs & a cat) & you can see how some genuine alone time would be a relief! I was planning to go away for a week or 10 days during the winter holiday, alone, but my husband is insisting that either he or my daughter accompany me. I was thinking of one of those quiet resorts where guests are kept somewhat separate from each other for maximal privacy & there is little to no interaction if that is what a guest wants. These quiet, meditative retreats are becoming increasingly popular as people seek to escape from the noise & chaos of daily life. If anyone insists on tagging along, they had better leave me alone!