How do you forget stuff?

[Ylva]

Does anyone know? I'd like to forget roughly 13 years of my life.

 

[DCA]

There's a lot of things I wish I could forget too. But I don't think it works that way!

 

[Pats]

You don't forget. Those things that happened happened and we can't change that or erase it. All we can do is learn to accept that it happened and try to learn to deal with it the best we can. Forgiving is not forgetting, but is a conscience act that we CAN control.

 

[Autistamatic]

Forgetting is not a skill I possess nor want to. I remember everything, often in excruciating detail. It's useful though. I never want to forget the painful experiences of my life because they keep me on my toes to make sure I don't repeat the mistakes that led to them. We don't have to dwell on those lows, but forgetting them will only lead us to do it all over again.

 

[Monachopia]

I've forced myself to forget quite a large chunk of my teenage years. It's all fuzzy now, I can't really remember much about them, just a vague... feeling, but no details. I force myself to forget things even now or I'll crumble away. The way I do it is whenever that thought or memory comes in, I switch my thinking to something else immediately, completely unrelated, MAKE myself focus elsewhere.
Having said that, it's not a healthy way to do things. Suppressing events, emotions, however unpleasant will only damage you in the long run. I know I'm going to pay a price, my wellbeing is slowly withering away from it all. Please try to talk to someone about whatever it is you're trying to forget and find peace with it so it no longer plagues you... All our experiences make us who we are today, both the good and the bad.

 

[ZebraAutismo]

Mindfulness training. Basically learning to acknowledge these thoughts but not letting them control me.

 

[GrownupGirl]

I only seem to forget things I want or need to remember, and then I worry I already have dementia. Like just yesterday I bought groceries and forgot to put the milk in the fridge until several hours later. Fortunately it was still good. I also forgot to buy won-ton strips for the stir fry I'm planning to make this weekend, and I need to remember to take a bag of stuff to the thrift store tomorrow, which I've forgotten to do the past couple of weeks.

 

[Pats]

I only seem to forget things I want or need to remember, and then I worry I already have dementia. Like just yesterday I bought groceries and forgot to put the milk in the fridge until several hours later. Fortunately it was still good. I also forgot to buy won-ton strips for the stir fry I'm planning to make this weekend, and I need to remember to take a bag of stuff to the thrift store tomorrow, which I've forgotten to do the past couple of weeks.

Have you ever gone to pick up shampoo and accidently come home with conditioner? I think I did that about 5 times in a row trying to buy shampoo.

 

[Misery]

How do I forget stuff?

I walk into the next room. Or look at a wall. Or pick something up. Or do... basically anything.

Yeah, my memory is bloody horrible. Heck, the three freaking years of junior high school, I remember like, 3 minutes of it.

I can tell you right now, a busted memory isnt as good to have as you're thinking it is.

 

[Tanyax]

Bless you. I know how you feel. I don’t know if I want to forget or go back and do it again? I think you just have to learn from it and become a better person. Our experiences make us stronger, better people. They really do. Kinder too. We can’t go back we have to go forward. You have to take what you can from it, no matter how hard or bad is was and try and make something good out of it. That’s all you can do. I have been brought down more pegs than I can even describe but I am a very kind and humble and loving person because of it. I think that is worth more to the soul than any other successes I can think of. Much love x

 

[onlything]

The more you want to forget something, the more you will remember it. Just the way brain works for some reason.

 

[Gritches]

In short, the best way to forget is to move forward.

Of course, you never really forget. You'll never forget. But if you can find a way to separate the person you were then from the person you are now, it'll make those experiences seem a lot smaller.

By that, I mean think of the traumatic times. Somehow, some way, those times ended. Would you ever allow that kind of thing to happen to you ever again? I'm guessing not. So you're a different person now than you were then. Focus on that person. Build that person up. If you're able to do that, you put distance between you and the bad times. And thus, they end up seeming much further away rather than so omnipresent.

 

[Tanyax]

That’s really good advice. I definitely need to do that. I don’t want to feel this way in a years time. I know that wasn’t meant for me but I thank you anyway x

 

[Sherlock77]

You really can't forget, the way you're thinking, unless you somehow develop amnesia...

But what you can resolve to do, with some help, is to move forward in life and correct those things you want to forget, it's not easy but if you believe in the process you can make it work...

 

[SusanLR]

You really can't forget, the way you're thinking, unless you somehow develop amnesia

This is what I was thinking too and I don't think I would want amnesia.
I would know something was really wrong and not feel right about it.

There aren't things I want to forget, but, there are things that I want to learn to live with without the
memory just keeping me depressed.
I keep hoping time will eventually dampen the negative emotions of those bad memories.
Some has dampened and doesn't bother me that much now. A few others are still emotional
misery.

Forgetfulness is different. Like the walking into another room and forgetting why, etc.
And the older you get the more it happens. I know I worry about dementia at my age too.

 

[Mr Allen]

I'm like an Elephant, I never forget stuff, because nobody ever tells me anything

 

[Progster]

Unfortunately one can't just forget the past, that's not how it works. One has to accept the past for what it is and move on. Look to the future, not the past, what is done is done and can't be changed.

 

[Carpe_Librum]

Not my strong suit. My Aspie friend told me that autistic people's way of storing memories is different to other people's and most things whether relevant or not can go straight into long term memory. Certainly makes sense.
Accepting as others have said is the best way, what you are doing here by talking about wanting to forget and reaching out to acknowledge it is a really good start. Some memories just need a tighter box. They won't go, but there are ways to make them behave. Even deep trauma can have a leash on its just difficult and takes time to control. I hope you can do so.

 

[Theta.G]

There are ways to forget but... they have very real risks most of which people can't fully comprehend. very advanced cause and effect and a crazy amount of them to boot.

Spoiler

Lets say you were walking around downtown at 4am on a saturday night and got stabbed.
Lets say you removed that 1 bad memory and all the sub categories tied to it. (feeling and other associations) You'll forget the face of your assailant. You'll go back to thinking it's fine to walk around at that time downtown. You could run into that person again and not bat an eye lash being completely unsuspecting as they attempt to do it again or worse.

Now, if you remove the emotional charge from the memories you wish to erase they'll gradually start taking up less and less of your thoughts. Until after some time they will be powerless and distant.

Problem is... if this is trauma related your going to need to see a good psychologist who specializes in this field and if you can find one that also specializes in some of your other co-morbids go with that. Do extensive research on the treatment approaches and investigate the person you'll be letting tamper with your mind.

If you approach this 100% alone odds are it will just make things worse. This statement is advice given in dozens of PTSD communities.

 

[clg114]

Remembering things is my problem, at least things recent. I can still remember old things, good and bad. I do not think that I want to forget everything. The good memories are pleasant and bad ones are lessons to be learned. This life. And we need accept it and move on.