Levitator
Well-Known Member
So, for the longest time, it has not been like me to try to label myself, and I often felt like such things were for people who want to be unicorns or special snowflakes. But, when I face simple realities, I find that it's me that's getting pushed out of society, and really consistently. It's society that treats me differently, and startlingly. It's insanely difficult to find a job. There was a space of about fifteen years where I never succeeded in making any sort of long-term friends, much less dating. It's entirely like society to kick you to the curb until you are sore and beaten down, and then when you say "I'm pretty sure it's because I have autism. I'll go look for other people with the same condition", society will be the same ones who are apt to tell you what a separatist or attention hound you are. Well, since we wind up needing our own fora like countless other marginalized groups (by race, religion, lifestyle, etc.) precisely because society is exclusive, let's not guilt ourselves or feel foolish for looking for a label that identifies other people we might get along with. Just like we wouldn't ask some other minority why they want their own magazine publication, let's not be ashamed that we likewise congregate at the margins, since that's precisely where society sweeps us.
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I'm not formally diagnosed, and I don't want to be, because I don't see the benefit, but I do see potential liabilities, like the very obvious and aforementioned exclusion. A lot of people have utterly no understanding of the possibility that there are others who think or mentally function differently than they do, but remain sane and functional, and able to participate in, say, a career. I just recently spoke to someone who didn't think it was safe to put someone with a head injury in the presence of other people, and he also commented that he didn't understand how a certain autistic person he knew was permitted to travel the world independently. That's what people think of you, so I don't suggest publicizing your diagnoses. Personally, I don't need one. Eye contact with everyone but intimate partners makes my eyes burn, I have very intense and specific musical tastes, social graces and spontaneity are totally incomprehensible to me. I am the kind of person who will have to pause to think in the middle of a statement, and the other person goes "What, I don't understand what you're saying", and it's because I seem to need to do things much more intentionally than others, rather then just flowing with the moment as they seem to. I'm entirely happy with myself, but I'm tired of being alone.
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I'm not formally diagnosed, and I don't want to be, because I don't see the benefit, but I do see potential liabilities, like the very obvious and aforementioned exclusion. A lot of people have utterly no understanding of the possibility that there are others who think or mentally function differently than they do, but remain sane and functional, and able to participate in, say, a career. I just recently spoke to someone who didn't think it was safe to put someone with a head injury in the presence of other people, and he also commented that he didn't understand how a certain autistic person he knew was permitted to travel the world independently. That's what people think of you, so I don't suggest publicizing your diagnoses. Personally, I don't need one. Eye contact with everyone but intimate partners makes my eyes burn, I have very intense and specific musical tastes, social graces and spontaneity are totally incomprehensible to me. I am the kind of person who will have to pause to think in the middle of a statement, and the other person goes "What, I don't understand what you're saying", and it's because I seem to need to do things much more intentionally than others, rather then just flowing with the moment as they seem to. I'm entirely happy with myself, but I'm tired of being alone.
Welcome! I'm sure you will find lots of people here that very much empathize with your post! You won't feel alone here! 
