Have you ever not liked someone at all and not wanted to be there friend but felt forced to?

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

If someone is someone who's personality clashes with you or you cannot see eye to eye or they have several things thst make them intolerable to your personality.
Why are you the one who needs to suffer?
I will never understand a God who forces you to get along with people who ruin your happiness or do not uplift you or bring out your best self or make you feel happy.
You know someone who cares about you very deeply when they care about your well-being more than their own or all their deepest wish for you is to see you happy.
People are not perfect but those are people who geniunely care about you and love you.
The people who can see your good sides and well they may get mad at your downsides like most people but they still are on your side and want good for you.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

What of God in the sky would say the humans he made does not deserve this?
There are a few people in my life like this but I have never found exactly what I need in terms of relationships.
But I do want people who geniunely care about me or have my best interests at heart above their own.
Tell me that is ludicrous someone who cares about themselves more than you is not a good friend or relationship.
Someone who wants to see you happy and understands your pain and forgives you if you make a mistake even if they are upset at first but not vindictive
Is a true friend. Not someone who cares about themselves more and will want to see you fall if you accidentally make a mistake and hurt and scorn them.
Because it is insidious and underhanded some of the stuff that happens to me and I do not enjoy that, what kind of human would enjoy all their pain invalidated and dismissed and then br insidiously hurt really severely after a lifetime of suffering and giving to others.
Mu heart sometimes hurts so bad and I cry so deeply in my soul. And I cannot understand how someone cannot see that amount of hurt I am feeling and care about me and validate it
And give justice to the people who have hurt me the most. Not just make it look like my fault when things are insidiously done to me.

 

[Levitator]

I've never felt forced to be that kind of friend, but I'm afraid to be precisely the kind of burden that you describe, and I'd much rather they join the rest of the world in abandoning me as long as they'd do me the courtesy of telling me "Sorry, you really are intolerable". I'd rather know than not. I don't do it on purpose, and I'm really tired of being very much alone. I tell God every single day that if I am the one that is the problem, he is welcome to remove me, or delete me altogether. I would much rather non-exist than to be this way.

I often say that I'm happy with myself, but that's predicated on the theory that I'm not disgusting to absolutely everyone else. I don't think anybody truly exists without someone else to share that existence with.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I've never felt forced to be that kind of friend, but I'm afraid to be precisely the kind of burden that you describe, and I'd much rather they join the rest of the world in abandoning me as long as they'd do me the courtesy of telling me "Sorry, you really are intolerable". I'd rather know than not. I don't do it on purpose, and I'm really tired of being very much alone. I tell God every single day that if I am the one that is the problem, he is welcome to remove me, or delete me altogether. I would much rather non-exist than to be this way.

I often say that I'm happy with myself, but that's predicated on the theory that I'm not disgusting to absolutely everyone else. I don't think anybody truly exists without someone else to share that existence with.

It is true and it is utter rubbish that anyone should have to exist without a few support people.
I hope you find people out there who geniunely care about you.
Because you are worth it and how there are people who push others to the wayside because they think they are superior and yet have heaps of friends and never get to have any justice or something to make it up to the person who suffers to me is just sadism sorry to say
And also disabled people already have enough limits and sufferings.
You see worthy of the best love and treatment whoever would tell someone they are not.
So I hope one day it comes to you..it cam be hard to understand???
I am happy with myself too at least the person I think I am yet you are right people can bring down our self worth and happiness but because of loneliness you need people to survive.

 

[Levitator]

I swear to God, this conversation makes me smell blood. It actually injures me.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I swear to God, this conversation makes me smell blood. It actually injures me.

I am not surprised especially since you are autistic

 

[Xinyta]

Honestly. I had one 'friend' forced on me by my stepmother. This kid was a control freak, picky eater, and generally was a self-absorbed person. Always wanting to do what HE wants to do. He also called daily. Not once a day. 3-4 times a day. He was so lonely that he saw the 'friendship' as a reason to harass me when I wasn't around him.

I thankfully found a way to break away. But it was hell dealing with him, and not of my own volition. Thanks, stepmom. You fruit flinger.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Honestly. I had one 'friend' forced on me by my stepmother. This kid was a control freak, picky eater, and generally was a self-absorbed person. Always wanting to do what HE wants to do. He also called daily. Not once a day. 3-4 times a day. He was so lonely that he saw the 'friendship' as a reason to harass me when I wasn't around him.

I thankfully found a way to break away. But it was hell dealing with him, and not of my own volition. Thanks, stepmom. You fruit flinger.

I wish the people brought into my life were like that
Some people brought in my life use and abuse me senselessly.
Not to say that is not annoying but at least it is a funny antidote.

 

[Xinyta]

Not to say that is not annoying but at least it is a funny antidote.

I can see how it can be refreshing, comparatively to what you deal with.

But it was annoying as hell for me. As someone that likes isolating, alot.

Though the more egregious thing was having this person forced on me by my stepmother, who knows nothing about me outside that I had some kinda undecernable problem.

 

[kenaij]

Not so much friends. But at work there are people who I really don`t enjoy being around. But I have to. Because we work together. Put on your profesional face and do it.
Most of these people I only have to interact with every now and then. So that is not too bad. But our close team of 4 has 1 person in it which I do not match with at all. But she is very close with the other 2.
But again. These are not friends. If I was told I would never see any of them ever again I would simply just move on with my life and don`t care.

 

[Mary Terry]

I've dropped "friends" who were too dictatorial, selfish and controlling. I dropped my closest childhood friend who seemed to want me to be her slave and who bored me to tears with her self-absorbed stories about herself while she never asked how I was doing.
Life is too short to put up with "friends" like that.

 

[Suzanne]

Would you be referring to a church environment?

I find I do not like people who behave towards me, as though I am a nobody and it is argued that I should like anyone even if they do not like me, but I find that hard to do, because no one has actually said: I don't like you. And suffering from paranoia, it confuses me with changing behaviour towards me and thus, I prefer to not see them ever again.

However, in my faith, we have a study subject each weekend and this subject is about having intense love for one another. Now I get the concept, because one cannot have a group of diverse people, without having that love and support and unity; however, I wonder why I am the one who is being pushed to accept other's unloving behaviour, whilst, I must be the one to show the love.

I hasten to add: I have never been rude to anyone ( oh, ok, my husband), but even when I do not like another, I am not rude to them).

 

[Greening]

I don't belive there is a being called "God" like that, at all. The day I realized that without a doubt was a truly liberating day, spiritually and mentally and in other ways. So it is a perspective, and a faith, I do not share, speak from or want to share or speak from. Which answers when I have often felt that someone tried to force me to be their friend within their conditions. No one was ever able to though, because as soon as I realize freedom of speech is not a given, something that is simply there out of respect for the other, then I am out. I prefer to be a loner anyways a lot of the time, having changed in this way over the years, so being my friend means you truly are my friend. I have very few. I cherish them enormously and I respect them infinitely.

 

[Masked Man]

Hard for me to respond to this. I don't believe in god(s) so there are no gods who force me to do anything.

I've had to have relationships with people I did not like due to jobs or family situations but I wasn't what I would call "friends" with them. I was only polite and that was it and I didn't spend more time with them than I had to.

I tend to not allow people in my life who I don't actively like or who treat me poorly. I've had enough of that.

 

[AspieChris]

But at work there are people who I really don`t enjoy being around. But I have to. Because we work together. Put on your profesional face and do it.

32 years of doing that at work….. I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. It’s horrible game I have to play to keep a paycheck. Getting ‘volunteered’ to do work or to work with people who I just can’t handle. And they laugh at me when I say I can’t, But I never feel like I’m allowed to say ‘no’. Then I’m the scapegoat when something goes wrong. And by then I’m so scrambled that I can’t even defend myself, so everyone thinks it really must have been my fault since I didn’t defend myself.

And God forbid that I find some way to hold myself together long enough to actually make it work! Next time it’s assumed that it’s now my responsibility when the next project comes up and I say no. I’m the bad guy now? What about all of the losers that said ‘no’ every time for the last 20 years? Nobody’s threatening them to get fired.

 

[AspieChris]

I tend to not allow people in my life who I don't actively like or who treat me poorly. I've had enough of that.

I have a little saying I tell myself now.

“There’s two people I need in my life. One of them is me. The other one is not you”.

I try not to say it out loud.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

If someone is someone who's personality clashes with you or you cannot see eye to eye or they have several things thst make them intolerable to your personality.
Why are you the one who needs to suffer?
I will never understand a God who forces you to get along with people who ruin your happiness or do not uplift you or bring out your best self or make you feel happy.
You know someone who cares about you very deeply when they care about your well-being more than their own or all their deepest wish for you is to see you happy.
People are not perfect but those are people who geniunely care about you and love you.
The people who can see your good sides and well they may get mad at your downsides like most people but they still are on your side and want good for you.

Any entity that says that you must suffer from people who want to hurt, abuse, and exploit you is an insidious and evil one, and one that is not worth your time or respect.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

32 years of doing that at work….. I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. It’s horrible game I have to play to keep a paycheck. Getting ‘volunteered’ to do work or to work with people who I just can’t handle. And they laugh at me when I say I can’t, But I never feel like I’m allowed to say ‘no’. Then I’m the scapegoat when something goes wrong. And by then I’m so scrambled that I can’t even defend myself, so everyone thinks it really must have been my fault since I didn’t defend myself.

And God forbid that I find some way to hold myself together long enough to actually make it work! Next time it’s assumed that it’s now my responsibility when the next project comes up and I say no. I’m the bad guy now? What about all of the losers that said ‘no’ every time for the last 20 years? Nobody’s threatening them to get fired.

The fact people with disabilities should be put in situations where they are taken advantage of while the others get away with it...WRONG.
I know you cannot speak up because they may fire you so that is a hard situation.
I passionately hate seeing people with ASD or ADHD treated like this like we have a disability so therefore we are unable to speak up for ourselves and get walked all over. It is hard too when you are passive in nature no one likes to feel like a doormat.
I'm not sure about my life and situations, I hope I am confused and wrong at times I try to believe it but I feel very violated anyway.
I think I am the sort of person now who cannot stand it so if I think anyone will take advantage of me, I stand up for myself
But often I still feel taken advantage of and it is hard when you have suffered as long as me and it feels extremely heartbreaking.
And if I want to get out of a situation or have choices then I have than right but it is hard when you are stuck between a rock and a hard place like you not wanting to be fired and cannot get out
Sometimes I feel like everyone is lying to me.
Anyhow hope things gets better for you. You never deserve to be taken advantage of maybe if you can find confidence you should tell them how you feel. No is a two letter word. And the other people should step up

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Hard for me to respond to this. I don't believe in god(s) so there are no gods who force me to do anything.

I've had to have relationships with people I did not like due to jobs or family situations but I wasn't what I would call "friends" with them. I was only polite and that was it and I didn't spend more time with them than I had to.

I tend to not allow people in my life who I don't actively like or who treat me poorly. I've had enough of that.

Me too, if you really feel it why would you tolerate it. Though I guess you cannot go on feelings alone but in case you feel like worried well you would not want it to happen.
Because I have been badly abused in the past too.
Yes well I believe in God but I do not believe in a God of force
I believe in a God who has ultimate power but gives free will at times too and does not dictate everything.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I've dropped "friends" who were too dictatorial, selfish and controlling. I dropped my closest childhood friend who seemed to want me to be her slave and who bored me to tears with her self-absorbed stories about herself while she never asked how I was doing.
Life is too short to put up with "friends" like that.

That is a problem I have found especially on Facebook..people who bore you to death with their problems who never really have anything interesting or uplifting to say.
That is why it is hard on Facebook to socialise or make friends.
And also you can give to people but they have no idea what a giver personality is like and if they have the chance they suck you dry of all your giving energy, go on and do better and then forget about you and claim they did it all themselves or that you never did anything to help them though they did not see the effort, the intentions of your heart or the amount or times you prayed for them or wished them well. And then never give anything back or even say thank you. And if they think it well on Facebook it is hard to read a person's thoughts and having high expectations when you have given as much as me seems normal.
There are energy vampires who bleed you for everything you have then do not have any intention of doing something back or showing geniune appreciation and admitting they did not get their on their own.
You know they are sort of person who once they go on and achieve fame and get to the top of their ladder they forget all about their apparent humble nature when they were really unwell. It only takes 5 mins so I guess they did not suffer that much because true suffering changes you and is memorable.
However that is why Facebook is the worse for friends because you woukd not know others at all only what they present on their pages and as a person with disabilities I am geniunely pretty open but always honest and transparent about my feelings at least.
Which is the reason I feel I get used and abused so much and gave up social media and have felt so much free and better since at least about that but still it has caused me a lot of guilt themes and self harm and made me feel worse because of the lasting effects from the triggers, feelings and negativity I saw on there.