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Have you always felt different?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by superboyian, Jun 1, 2010.

  1. superboyian

    superboyian Former Co-Owner V.I.P Member

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    I knew I was different from when I was 13 years of age because I would used to:

    - I stim.
    - Got upset over small comments.
    - I was different from my social group.
    - I have obsessions that goes on and on.
    - I never get bored of something.
    - I could listen to music for a whole day.

    Since that age, I knew since that incident I had in the park with two girls making fun of me because I was autistic and never really felt so accepted back then and felt like a alien.
    Now I feel more accepted and not care what people think about it, as long as I'm accepted, then I'm still happy.

    Have you always felt different?
     
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  2. Droopy

    Droopy Founder & Former Admin V.I.P Member

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    I have always felt different from a very young age. In fact I was so convinced that I was somehow different that I once wanted to go to a regular doctor to see if he could pinpoint what it was. :lol2:

    I never knew how I was different from everyone else, just knew that I was. I suppose the fact that I was quiet and didn't have much social success reinforced my thinking. I also had long obbessions with things and special interests. When I finally got a diagnosis, it helped answer a lot of questions about myself and why I was different.
     
  3. Kit

    Kit Well-Known Member

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    I've known since my early years I was different and I wasn't sure why. I felt I had bad luck. Then at age ten I started to do something about it. I thought if I tried harder and be accepted and be treated like everyone else, I'd be normal and I thought it was people that made me be different and I got sick of it and rebelled. I fought for my rights. Before, I never cared that I was different and didn't think much of it until I was ten. Then I decided I wanted to be normal. I never thought my mind was wired differently.
     
  4. IdahoRose

    IdahoRose Well-Known Member

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    I had a feeling I was different as early as kindergarten, because kids called me "weird" and excluded me from things. But it didn't really hit home till junior high, when I was still into things like playing pretend, cartoons and sleepovers while my peers were interested in getting boyfriends and being popular. I felt like all the other kids were growing up and I was still mentally stuck in elementary school. That's why I never really "felt right" even though I was being treated for mental problems like OCD and anxiety disorder. When I finally got diagnosed with AS, it finally all made sense to me.
     
  5. superboyian

    superboyian Former Co-Owner V.I.P Member

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    That was what happened to me while I was at primary school, at one point, I could just call myself a loner at that stage but secondary was worse as they called me names and that, plus it was a special needs school and feeling like I never fitted in, it really sucked.

    I only fitted in well 2 years later since I just changed and had more confidence to talk to people and have a proper conversation. :D
     
  6. Kempy

    Kempy Well-Known Member

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    I knew I was different from a very young age. I was aware that I was more intelligent than others and being different never actually bothered me until junior school (I wanted to make friends).

    When I was about 2 years old, my grandad would bring broken clocks over. I used to enjoy sitting in the cupboard playing with them. I also used to take things apart, and take parts of the clocks apart. When I was 3, I could tell the time right down to the minute. I remember my Mum teaching me and I just picked it up really easily. I remember in reception (kindergarten) that we had these plastic boards with holes in that you could push coloured beads into to make pictures. For some reason I decided to make a burglar alarm out of beads. I also remember playing with a K'nex wheelchair in year 2 and suddenly noticing that the smaller front wheels turn quicker than the larger back wheels. I was also aware at that age that adults found this sort of thing fascinating whilst other people my age couldn't care less.

    I'm going to leave it there although I'm probably going to end up writing my life's story in another post, or a film as that is my obsession.
     
  7. LittleTigger

    LittleTigger Well-Known Member

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    When I hadent been alive for very long I thot
    of myself more of a cat then a human.

    I still have the cat spirit inside me, Felines are
    My People.

    I seeked out other weirds and we formed The Nerd Club.

    I just cood not grow up either and at 15 I had a heat stroke
    and it altered me. Now I really can't grow up if I tride.
    Terrorising me won't work, it will make me resist harder
    the more I am terrorised until a tantrum breaks out.

    I cannot be who stupid society wishes I was, I don't know,
    they probably wish I was some Alcoholic, Womanising, Brutal
    Mr. Man, wifebeating Bob Normal who can't even begin to come
    Near a crayon.

    I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.
    I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.
    I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.
    I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

    I do not have enuf power to be what society wishes I was,
    and any power that I had before is drained.

    I am just a little boy who wants to play and be happy is
    that too much to ask from society?

    Yes.

    So I will just disapoint them.

    O well.

    <fades away into darkness>
     
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  8. Ferdinand

    Ferdinand Well-Known Member

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    I've always known.
     
  9. Geordie

    Geordie Geordie

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    I didn't feel any different from others until sweepers and taxi drivers say to me striaght in the face that I am too immature for them.
     
  10. visnofskygirl

    visnofskygirl Well-Known Member

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    Yes and it makes me happy!

    Self-affirmation Pledge for those with AS
    by Liane Holliday Willey

    I am not defective. I am different.

    I will not sacrifice my self-worth for peer acceptance.

    I am a good and interesting person.

    I will take pride in myself.

    I am capable of getting along with society.

    I will ask for help when I need it.

    I am a person who is worthy of others' respect and acceptance.

    I will find a career interest that is well suited to my abilities and interests.

    I will be patient with those who need time to understand me.

    I am never going to give up on myself.

    I will accept myself for who I am. :agree:
     
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  11. Geordie

    Geordie Geordie

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    I really agree with the self-affirmation thread for those with ASDs. :) It helps.
     
  12. Kempy

    Kempy Well-Known Member

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    I am far more accepting of who I am than I used to be. In fact, I used to hate being me!
     
  13. Geordie

    Geordie Geordie

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    What made you accept you?
     
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  14. katcha

    katcha Well-Known Member

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    I know I am different although I've never felt different. I have always felt like an outsider however.
     
  15. Sipe

    Sipe Well-Known Member

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    I knew I was different from very young age. And when I was told that I had Asperger Syndrome, I was sure that I was different. And when I transferred into a "normal" school with "normal" people, I was stressed. I knew I was different and I kinda tried to "act" normal. I did`t quite work out at first but I learned eventually. Today I act like a total normal person and I bet that no one would notice that I am an aspie. But don`t get me wrong, I`m not ashamed of it. I used to be, but not anymore since I realized that it was stupid.

    But today, I don`t think I`m much different than others. Must be because I have learned how to be "normal". I don`t know.
     
  16. KinksFan

    KinksFan Well-Known Member

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    I've always felt different from my peers. I've always felt wise beyond my years, even though I cry very easily. I've also found that at an early age, that I could be on the computer, listening to music, all day long. I also don't share may common interests with my generation. I've always been more interested, with the music and the fashions, of my parents generation, in particular a group that doesn't need an introduction, around here.
     
  17. CJinherPJs

    CJinherPJs Professional Weirdo V.I.P Member

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    I've always known I was different somehow and it goes back pretty much as far as I can remember. When diagnosed with AS at nine I didn't really think much of it until I was 13. I wanted so much to be like the popular girls, and I tried, I really tried, to fit in, but the mask kept slipping and eventually I could no longer hide my "weirdness" from them. I became depressed about it, but in time I learned that I didn't want to be like them after all, if being like them meant being bitchy and backstabbing people. So in a way I think it's good that I don't get off on that sort of thing.
     
  18. Bay

    Bay Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I always sensed that I couldn't understand the world in the same way that others did. And I never understood why others became angry with me so often. I felt very alone. Still do, but it is getting better. I now have a partner who has made me feel loved for the first time in my life. I waited a long time for this. I am learning to find value in myself, and to stop listening to the people who have always misunderstood me.
     
  19. alien girl

    alien girl Well-Known Member

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    i've known i was different than anyone else since i was about six or five, or maybe before and i just dont remember.
    other kids needed company. other kids knew the right words to say and understood each other instinctively. other kids talked and i didnt understand the meaning of what they were saying. they laughed and i didnt understand what was funny.
    other kids talked while music was playing, while when i heard music i felt like i was uplifted, floating, my mood altered.
    other kids ignored animals, or patted them on the head and went on with their business, while when i saw a dog, or cat, i was transfixed by their beauty and couldnt stop patting them, feeling that silky fur under my hands. it made my day.
    other kids didnt flip their fingers and pace back and forth, didnt flip a handkerchief through the air while looking at it, fascinated, didnt watch palmtops swaying in the wind for i dont know how long, didnt have other people getting angry at them without their understanding what the hell they were angry for. other kids could ride a bicycle. other kids ate candies and chocolate which i hated due to an over sensitive sense of taste, and could smell things i couldnt. other kids didnt live in dreamland. other kids werent so shy, other kids talked while i prefered pointing and nodding whenever possible. other kids didnt have rage attacks...
    the list is long. it was very confusing for such a young child to know something is wrong and not know what it is, especially while around her everyone keeps telling her she's like everyone else and no one acknowledge the fact that something nameless, mysterious is going on.
     
  20. Arashi222

    Arashi222 Cuddling Vampires V.I.P Member

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    I knew I was different from a young age as most people have indicated. But I tried I really tried to convince myself and others that I was "normal" but it didn't work I was weird and everyone knew it. But like a lot of people I didn't really feel alone until I went to middle/high school that I realized I was really different. I didn't fit in with the small class of peers ( I had a graduating class of 40). I Knew then that something wasn't right. It wasn't until I started going to school for psychology and eventually social work that someone actually sat me down and told me to go get tested for AS. That I had AS and that things might make a lot more sense now.