Have you always felt different?

[Judge]

I never got the message that I couldn't learn and it was more than a learning deficit so I set out to learn what I assumed my lousy parents didn't teach me because they thought all females should be dumb and totally dependent on a man.

This is the one lingering mystery to me in the voyage of discovering my own autism. Whether or not I really do have some sort of learning disability. I've accomplished complex things in life, but learning itself always seems more of a struggle to me than it should be. Had I not been persevering my life would have been even less than what it is.

But then this might also explain why I had to get into my 50s before stumbling onto my own autism...lol. I'm just not sure.

 

[Beverly]

Judge it has been a struggle for me too in some areas. not so much academically but, "street smarts" does not come easy to me. Still I have learned well. I rarely make "Aspie" mistakes when it's important that I don't make such mistakes and, I have learned to understand social cues and non verbal social language but, for me that's a foreign language. I know it and I know what it means and, can even use it but, I have no cultural reference in my head for it. My brain does not register it as a normal, natural thing to know or use and, apparently it is normal and natural for NTs. They don't have to read books, watch videos, hire tutors or, pay practice partners to learn it like I did.

Still I don't think it's impossible for us to learn and, I think more would learn it all better if they had the same materials and sorts of teachers and helpers I had. I'm hoping to be able to provide some of that free of charge to those that want it and, would truly benefit from becoming skilled socialites.

 

[unsurewhattoname]

My brain does not register it as a normal, natural thing to know or use and, apparently it is normal and natural for NTs. They don't have to read books, watch videos, hire tutors or, pay practice partners to learn it like I did.

Yes they do. Especially political figures. No NT is perfect, the difference is that they learn it naturally if they're around others (so from school and work) whereas ASDs don't and have to learn it as adults from scratch, and not every ASD can even then.

 

[EricD]

Every day, but I live my life the best way I know how. Anyone who won't accept me for who I am can sit on it & rotate!

 

[Nacho]

I think when I was younger I didn't care about many things. I don't think I was as aware as now of everything that surrounded me; I kind of went from school to home, and from home to school -kind of like right now, but in a more careless mood-.

I think I've always been different, but I haven't always been aware of it. I think that, when I was 17, the threshold was set. I'd say 17 was my before-after moment.

 

[Datura]

If I recall clearly then I have felt seperate from my peers from pre-school onward. Other kids didn't really like me that much, and I wasn't all that interested in them either. And even though I could cary conversations with adults from the age of four I found other children inscrutable.

Around the same time I noticed that other kids my age had far more developed motor skills than myself, which would remains a source of frustration and ridecule throughout my childhood. Add to this frequent assessments and tests throughout elementary, extra time with the TA, and other kids calling me "weird" or "retarded" and yeah, I felt different practically from the time I had other people to compare myself to.

 

[ancusmitis]

I don't think I really felt like I was "different." I felt like I was me. I remember talking to people and trying to be friends when I was very young. And during the bad times there were still people I would like, but I can't really remember thinking of myself as a person who was "not the same" as other people until at least sixth grade. And then, I didn't really think of myself as "different" so much as "smarter than everybody else." Not a good attitude, but I think I can be forgiven that conceit as a middle schooler, as it delayed the onset of crippling self-hatred for several years, until I realised I wasn't actually better than anybody else.

 

[Datura]

I don't think I really felt like I was "different." I felt like I was me. I remember talking to people and trying to be friends when I was very young. And during the bad times there were still people I would like, but I can't really remember thinking of myself as a person who was "not the same" as other people until at least sixth grade. And then, I didn't really think of myself as "different" so much as "smarter than everybody else." Not a good attitude, but I think I can be forgiven that conceit as a middle schooler, as it delayed the onset of crippling self-hatred for several years, until I realised I wasn't actually better than anybody else.

I adopted the same attitude in grade seven. I believe much of my apparent superiority derived from the fact that I was focused on my work and not at all destracted by the social aspects of junior high. I thought there was something seriously wrong with my peers and often wondered how I wound up at a school with such an astoundingly idiotic student body. I later realized that they acted like they did because of puberty, and it would have been the same at any other school. I also had to come to terms with the fact that many of these people were far smarter than I gave them credit for.

 

[clg114]

I adopted the same attitude in grade seven. I believe much of my apparent superiority derived from the fact that I was focused on my work and not at all destracted by the social aspects of junior high. I thought there was something seriously wrong with my peers and often wondered how I wound up at a school with such an astoundingly idiotic student body. I later realized that they acted like they did because of puberty, and it would have been the same at any other school. I also had to come to terms with the fact that many of these people were far smarter than I gave them credit for.

It is odd how NT's mistake our lack of social skills for lack of intelligence, we mistake their love for social skills for lack of intelligence and we are usually both wrong. It just depends on where your priorities are.