"Funny" moment today.

[Iamnotarabot]

I was back from work and waiting for my train.
Near me was a family with 2 children, one of them picked my interest.
You know I am in a situation when I am unsure if I am different or not, and I constantly look at others behaviours because my personal researches picked my interest in that matter.

She was as tall as an adult so I cant say the age but at least 12?
She was always walking around her parents, putting her arms in very weird position like stretching them behind her back etc...clapping her hands a bit randomly.

And then I thought , hum this kid seems a bit different , unable to stay in place with and obviously a bit stranger to her own body...I don't remember doing all that when I had her age, but i am not sure since we don't really realize it when we act weird.
Personally I only act weirdly when I am alone.

Then, the train at the station did a huge steam noise i don't know why, it took me by surprise and you know I closed my eyes and reacted like I was hurt a little.

When I opened my eyes the kid had her hands to cover her ears.
We definitely have something in common !

I wonder if her parents know she is different and how they deal with it, they seemed pretty calm and happy when I saw them today. They didn't correct her at all and didn't say that what she was doing was inapropriate.

I have different parents to be fair , my mother corrected me so much I think that 's the reason i don't do thoses things in public.

 

[Tiffany]

My mother had a very public career and punished me consistently. While I think it contributed to a mild case of PTSD, it definitely forced me to learn and mimic neurotypical social styles. I think it made me a better actress but I sometimes feel resentful of the time spent grounded because I refused to play basketball or speak to certain people.
Great post. Thanks for putting this up.

 

[the_tortoise]

I'm lucky I was never told off for things like covering my ears or making weird movements.

I was mostly oblivious to how different I was, growing up....and I'm really glad and grateful for that.

 

[Bolletje]

To me this sounds like normal kid behavior. Children test the limits of their body by seeing what movements they can and can’t make. They also haven’t been fully “drilled” in their behavior yet: adults have been conditioned to just act like loud noises don’t bother us, covering your ears would probably be considered overreacting by many.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

To me this sounds like normal kid behavior. Children test the limits of their body by seeing what movements they can and can’t make. They also haven’t been fully “drilled” in their behavior yet: adults have been conditioned to just act like loud noises don’t bother us, covering your ears would probably be considered overreacting by many.

Maybe, but as I said she looked older than a 8 year old, his attitude looked like she didnt like to be there in my opinion, like overexcited and stressed at the same time, they were couples of other kid around, even her sister, they didnt act like that at all.

Yeah some of them sometimes move and run and are doing weird things but not like this, I stayed like 15min around I had time to see it.
She was just walking in loop not taking any break and doing what ever with her arms/hands all the time,go directly in her mother shoulders to seek comfort etc, she was obviously stressed out. I know my mother would be like " stop and stand still you look like a crazy person" , the typical behavior my parents would be against, at home I cant rock my chair more than 10sec for instance. ( I have a feeling that ASD people not being aware of their condition may be even less tolerant than NT)

After the first train did that noise she moved away to be farther away from the rails and covered her ears in advance when the next train was coming, she didnt even try to hear that she expected something realy hurtfull. And even thought I was prepared for this one , I was like, this sounds ok and at the end when the train relaly stopped I couldnt stop making a hurt face again xD

You know since iv heard about asd and the possibility that I have a disorder and that I am "different", from the majority of the rest of the population I observe a lot people around me. ( And all the behaviours I was litteraly the only one having make sence now.)

For instance when its about noises, I dont cover my hears ( well actually I did months ago a few times but I was realy more stressed in that period , this is realy rare).
But the minimum for me is that I always do a painfull face when I am a bit taken by surprise by sensory output , even when I know them , the only way i dont make a face is like being in some kind of meditating mode in my head and disconnecting from what is around...and it doesnt work all the time

But whatever, when I say I am observing, for instance in the train there is on particular station that I realy hate because you realy hear the train griding the rails or something like that and this is horrible.( last week I was in this train, and just expecting this sound to happen triggeed me a violent chest pain.)

One day I had that feeling, I litteraly wanted to shot my head, and I looked around people were reading, not giving a damn about what is happening, I dont know if i am good or not at reading people expression when i talk to them, but an expression like mine is realy obvious to the eye , and no one had it.

Yesterday it was a sunny day and my eye hurted, and it gave me a great headhache, and just talking about that make me feel bad in my chest ! , when I looked at my face at a car window man my face was realy a mess of painfull expressions.

What I mean is that, we realy cant help it when we are hypersensitive. Its not just some reaction that everyone have and then we learned to not do in in public(or not depending on our education.) I mean I hear train since I am born,I would be used to it if it was only about that.

Even her little sister realized her sister was in pain, when she left to go away from the rails ( we were already meters away) , the little sister came near her grand sister to talk to her and then came back to her parents like she was trying to alarm them that her sister didnt feel good. ( the little sister was realy little maybe 6?)

I dont think that, feeling that you want to bang your head against a wall or smash something when you hear a noise is "normal". But you know what I felt it was normal before I heard about ASD and hypersensitivity.

I dont claim to be somekind of ASD detector, but im sure this girl was at least hypersensitive and very stressed, and it was a experience I wanted to talk about here because it deals with so much subject even if it seems casual, feeling less alone when you see someone dealing with the same problems, seeing parents that looks more accepting than mine, etc...

god damn Just writting about sensitivity hurts me.

 

[Tiffany]

You’re right. My ex used to crank his music up super loud in our house and I used to think ‘I’m going to lose my freaking mind’ it would actually make me feel ill. I love music but sometimes when I can’t escape it can make me feel nuts inside.

 

[the_tortoise]

I have a feeling that ASD people not being aware of their condition may be even less tolerant than NT

Sometimes they are more tolerant....depends on their upbringing and how they see the world and other people, how they think.

I know what you mean about sound sensitivity -- it is not just a matter of adjustment. You hear things as more loud, and/or the sound is actually painful, and/or your brain can't filter out any of the noises around you so you tend to hear all of them even if you can't actually process them all.