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Friends or no friends??

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Cazzie, Jun 19, 2010.

  1. Cazzie

    Cazzie Well-Known Member

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    hi all,
    Why dont people with autism or asperger's syndrome have no friends or not very many?

    what are your thoughts on this......

    i have 1 really good friend other then that non!!

    i did not have many friends at school nearth college

    take care
    cazzie [​IMG]
     
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  2. superboyian

    superboyian supermodian V.I.P Member

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    I always had friends but was mostly bullied until after year 10 in school when I knew I was worth it and I was bullied for being too different and weird that I felt that I never really fitted in.

    Up until now, I gotten more brave and stronger in myself and actually built alot of friends ever since I've left the school, so for me, life just tunred around and I also have myself a loving girlfriend. :)
     
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  3. GhettoButterFly

    GhettoButterFly Well-Known Member

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    Hm... I guess it is a social thing or a regional thing maybe. Sometimes it could be something else.

    If you're like in a big metropolitan city, you would have "more" friends. What I mean is, instead of having one "good" friend... You'll have like two or three. :)

    It is harder if you're in a small town though. :S

    As for myself, I have friends scattered. In real life, I have friends on the west cost, and then some in other states. I have a few in my metropolitan area. I have two good gal friends and one good guy one (I have more, but hm... hanging out wise is like meh). I should try to socialize more, but it is more of an economic factor with me kind of. :S

    So yeah... These are things to consider.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2010
  4. aschrisd

    aschrisd Well-Known Member

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    I have only 2 long term friends

    One has similar interests to me, who I've known since primary (middle) school

    The other just likes my quirkiness, who I've known since secondary (high) school

    Others tend to be a hit or miss, although my success rate is getting better.
     
  5. Droopy

    Droopy Founder & Former Admin V.I.P Member

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    Well, it's because AS/Autism is a "disorder" which includes poor social skills and communication.

    Personally, I have had very few friends throughout childhood. I was bullied for most of my childhood which made socializing even more difficult and scary I suppose. Now though, I have been accepted into my brother's social circle and have a group of friends. However, I would only class a few of them as actual close friends and I don't get to see them often due to work/college/University/girlfriends and so-on taking up their time.
     
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  6. katcha

    katcha Well-Known Member

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    I have three friends and a girlfriend. Which would probably come under the "no friends" tag in most people's perception.
     
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  7. petrossa

    petrossa Well-Known Member

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    Too much hassle keeping up with not blurting out things that might offend. And i don't like people that much. The few friends i had backstabbed me. The last stole my speedboat, sold it and moved to the Caribbean.
     
  8. jaws

    jaws Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I have had many friends on and off. With me it is sort of like Calvert's situation, they would get busy with things and we'd loose touch. I seem to have a problem keeping friends...one day I look around and am left wondering where did everyone go?

    To be honest, in retrospect I think my friends out grow me. I'm kind of funny and very smart, but still like the same things I've liked since I was 12. Don't get me wrong I can get by at a business dinner with CEO's and VIP's, but I'd rather play video games, spar, just play, or watch cartoons, etc. and I don't like having to always "put on a sophisticated facade" just to go out with friends. Wasn't bad when I was in my late teens to early twenties, people saw it as youthful, quirky, and funny....but in my thirties, I guess it is just too weird.
     
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  9. Droopy

    Droopy Founder & Former Admin V.I.P Member

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    Sometimes I think like that myself. I remember old friends and wonder how we lost contact, how they changed or how we went our separate ways for whatever reason. That's one of the worries that I have. Everyone growing up, moving on with their life and going separate ways. I don't want to get left behind.
     
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  10. landlubber

    landlubber Well-Known Member

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    I think I have one friend. We are internet friends so you don't get to know each other that well really.
     
  11. Leiservampir

    Leiservampir Well-Known Member

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    I have lots of "Friends" but only one or two proper ones.
    And the proper ones either have AS or ADHD haha.

    Birds of a feather, I guess
     
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  12. CJinherPJs

    CJinherPJs Professional Weirdo V.I.P Member

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    I had a few friends in primary school. Then when I moved up to Year 7 I was known as the quiet one who tagged along. Years 8, 9 and 10 were the worst though. But I survived, and now that my trust in people has been restored, I'm finding it easier to talk to them and make friends. At one point, I thought I would never have friends, so actually having a couple is a big step for me.
     
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  13. TotodilePika

    TotodilePika Well-Known Member

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    I have two very good friends.My best friend who I have known since I was in 3rd grade and she was in 4th grade. And My boyfriend(my other best friend). I also have two friends that I go to the same school with.
     
  14. superboyian

    superboyian supermodian V.I.P Member

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    Awww, its sweet, it's very much similar to how I got with my girlfriend, again, went school together with her and everything.

    Sweet times. :)
     
  15. Firnafth

    Firnafth Mammalogist V.I.P Member

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    When I was a kid I usually had 1 friend at a time (we moved fairly often). When I was in Junior High and in High School I had no friends and I was lonely and hated myself. I was homeschooled so I didn't have much opportunity to find friends and those opportunities I did get I didn't take advantage of, but the truth is it may have been better because I avoided bullying and other school problems.

    I decided to learn how to socialize properly when I went to college and I am now OK at it: I pay intense attention when I am talking to people and have trained myself to give appropriate responses. Now I have two good friends which I have had for four or so years. I have one other recent friend and a number of acquaintances.
     
  16. MissConstrue

    MissConstrue Well-Known Member

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    Nope I have no friends anymore. One of them I haven't seen in a while passed away just yesterday.

    Unless you count the friends online who live miles away from me. I'm usually geninuine and have kept in contact with quite a few of them.
     
  17. superboyian

    superboyian supermodian V.I.P Member

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    I'm sorry to hear about it MissConstrue... :( I guess it was a difficult time for you?

    You sure do need a :hug: just to cheer you up a little.
     
  18. Leiservampir

    Leiservampir Well-Known Member

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    Group hug!
     
  19. KinksFan

    KinksFan Well-Known Member

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    I have two really good friends, IRL and that's all that I really need. I have lots of friends, here and on the other website that I frequent.
     
  20. 142857

    142857 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Even when you are on the spectrum it does get easier as you get older. I go through phases of being social and having friends, or not bothering.

    Currently I effectively have no friends where I live now, I spend my time with my wife and kids or on the internet or at the gym. I just don't feel "upbeat" enough to even bother trying to make friends now - my life is in a holding pattern while I wait for this job opportunity or that job opportunity to come through.