Formal Assessment yesterday.....

[Duncan74]

Hello again for those that I met late last year, early this year. I found the posts and support on here really really helpful in the early days after my self diagnosis, the positive indications from the screening and when I was learning about 'what may be'. But then after those first few months and whilst I was in a 'holding pattern' for the clinical assessment I found myself going from learning to almost defaulting to reading some posts and thinking that was how I ought to feel, ought to be. And so combined with some really significant work pressures and stresses I decided to let this 'sit' for a while.
Anyway, 2 hour interview yesterday, and whilst I have another one (next one with my wife) in a couple of weeks the psychologist at the end of the session stated that from the examples I'd given, the interview then I was autistic. He needed to do a relative interview for the ICD-11 criteria, before formally being able to provide that diagnosis as official. But still, it's there. Not my view, not the way some multiple choice questionnaires 'scored'. But the guy with the diploma and the comfy chair ;-)
So how do I feel about this. Relieved? Vindicated. Confused. Scared. Hopeful. Worried for my wife. All of the above. But the key thing for me is genuinely expecting life to make more sense. it already has so far this year. And to have MORE confidence as I can be more sure of the times that I'll find my strengths to be helpful and also to know when to not spend too much time going into situations unsupported that align with areas that just aren't going to go well.
I've had a couple of preliminary conversations with senior colleagues in advance, and those have been incredibly reassuring. My only slight concern is that they seemed to be somewhat amused that I didn't know but they'd kinda worked it out. More conversations to be had on that!!!! But the headline from work is 'ok, so what can we do to support. What do I want to do. You add so much value, we don't want to lose that so how can we make life easier'.

 

[VictorR]

Glad to hear that you're getting affirmation.

It's also great that you have supportive/understanding colleagues. I've found that I've often (not always, though) connected well with colleagues who are either neurodiverse themselves, or have close friends or family who are neurodiverse.

 

[Tom]

Hello again for those that I met late last year, early this year. I found the posts and support on here really really helpful in the early days after my self diagnosis, the positive indications from the screening and when I was learning about 'what may be'. But then after those first few months and whilst I was in a 'holding pattern' for the clinical assessment I found myself going from learning to almost defaulting to reading some posts and thinking that was how I ought to feel, ought to be. And so combined with some really significant work pressures and stresses I decided to let this 'sit' for a while.
Anyway, 2 hour interview yesterday, and whilst I have another one (next one with my wife) in a couple of weeks the psychologist at the end of the session stated that from the examples I'd given, the interview then I was autistic. He needed to do a relative interview for the ICD-11 criteria, before formally being able to provide that diagnosis as official. But still, it's there. Not my view, not the way some multiple choice questionnaires 'scored'. But the guy with the diploma and the comfy chair ;-)
So how do I feel about this. Relieved? Vindicated. Confused. Scared. Hopeful. Worried for my wife. All of the above. But the key thing for me is genuinely expecting life to make more sense. it already has so far this year. And to have MORE confidence as I can be more sure of the times that I'll find my strengths to be helpful and also to know when to not spend too much time going into situations unsupported that align with areas that just aren't going to go well.
I've had a couple of preliminary conversations with senior colleagues in advance, and those have been incredibly reassuring. My only slight concern is that they seemed to be somewhat amused that I didn't know but they'd kinda worked it out. More conversations to be had on that!!!! But the headline from work is 'ok, so what can we do to support. What do I want to do. You add so much value, we don't want to lose that so how can we make life easier'.

As much effort as we put in to masking conciously or not, I think it very common that our differences show thru. And also such suspicions are usually not voiced out of politeness by friends, family and aquaintences. They often do not know specifically what it is and if trully at a clinical level.

 

[Duncan74]

As much effort as we put in to masking conciously or not, I think it very common that our differences show thru. And also such suspicions are usually not voiced out of politeness by friends, family and aquaintences. They often do not know specifically what it is and if trully at a clinical level.

Interestingly one of the first people I confided in is an ex colleague - actually my old boss that I remain good friends with. His immediate response was that he (and his wife, my old HR consultant) had discussed this between themselves years ago. Anyway, I said it would be helpful to me to understand why they thought that I may be autistic. Their response was one of the things I raised in the assessment interview as it was incredibly insightful and independent commentary on my nature.

One really amusing (possible not quite right term, but has made me smile) is a colleague that has asked me to mentor her. I had a session with her 3 hours after my assessment ended. And hearing her challenges, her thinking, and indeed her responses. So I have my very strong suspicions. I would say she is incredibly similar to me, possibly even a bit 'more'. I was reflecting why she finds talking to me so helpful to her - I'm one of the few people that when she says something I can go back and suggest why I think she may be thinking that way, and then share my 'coping/masking/learned responses' and she's finding that really effective.

One odd one that happened was I was asked to be the exec sponsor of the neurodiversity employee reference group. This came from a random conversation with one of the team whilst I was visiting another office a couple of weeks ago. I avoided giving any response as I'm way off being able to process how to be the sponsor of a representative group that I am part of but not openly know to be (indeed at the time even I didn't know for sure I was).