FOOD FIGHT

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Since banana slices and mini marshmallows are always dropped on the floor by toddlers, I also offer a few schmushed grapes and crumbled Ritz crackers to be trampled underfoot as well.

 

[tree]

Tips a 55 gallon drum full of red Jello onto that stuff,
and uses a canoe paddle to blend it all together.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Waits four hours for jello to solidify. Heaves giant scplobby armfuls of jello at the lot o ye'!

 

[Butterfly88]

Cooks peas until they are extra mushy and hurls them at everyone!

 

[Magna]

Hurls bananas in rapid-fire succession à la Atari's Food Fight arcade game from my youth.

 

[maycontainthunder]

Hides behind an upturned table eating his ammunition...

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

sprays hot fudge over the bananas littering the floor.

 

[maycontainthunder]

Foolishly breaks cover to grab the delicious fudge coated bananas

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Chides you for eating bananas and fudge off of the floor. Then punishes you by spraying seltzer in your face.

 

[tree]

Wipes the seltzer from her face with several corn tortillas
and tosses them toward whomever it may concern.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Unleashes the guacamole canon.

 

[maycontainthunder]

Finds tin of shortbread but there is cornflour in them so commences throwing them one at a time.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Flings mayonnaise, mustard, and pickle relish at each of you.

 

[tree]

Erects a shield of hot dog buns to absorb that stuff
and when the buns are maximally saturated, pitches
them back in your direction.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Sprays seltzer at the hot dog buns, so they plop to the ground in a floppy, sloppy mess.

 

[tree]

Stirs in a vast amount of tomato paste to thicken the soggy hot dog buns.

 

[Butterfly88]

Chops some onions to make everyone’s eyes water

 

[PL99]

Empties a bag of oat bran everywhere to soak up the onion tears.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

schploshes a kilo of half-melted coffee flavored ice cream across the linoleum floor.

 

[Nitro]