Feeling like harming myself.

[Metalhead]

When I woke up this morning after two to three hours of sleep every night for the last two months, I realized I could barely stand up. I talked with my doctor and got a note excusing me from work today. My boss told me that was not OK, that she knows I am working really hard to prove myself but that my health is too big of an issue for this office to handle currently and that I need to be more reliable to everybody else there.

I feel like ordering a gallon of whiskey to be delivered to my doorstep. I feel like covering myself with cuts and bruises. I feel like I am a failure as a human being currently.

 

[Rodafina]

You’re not a failure for feeling the way you feel. That was a rotten thing to do for your boss on this particular day. It’s nearly impossible for any human to function on as little sleep as you have been having.

Think of the things that make you feel good now… Not the things you should do, but the positive, healthy things that you enjoy that give you strength. Your critical brain will be in overdrive right now.

We are here for you. You don’t have to sit alone with these horrible feelings.

 

[Rodafina]

Maybe some magical metal music. Maybe something trivial like posting a poll that will make you laugh. Even a pizza or something else you love to eat sounds like it would be OK today.

Those of us in recovery, including you, know that drinking will not solve the problem and then it will leave you feeling badly later. You have so much time under your belt. Try not to listen to The Destroyer inside of you, but hear The Preserver.

 

[Raggamuffin]

If work isn't willing to accommodate I'd suggest updating your CV/resume and looking for another job.

Ed

 

[AprilR]

Hugs. No job is as important as your physical or mental health.

 

[Metalhead]

So this is how my life ends. Everybody I know IRL is telling me nobody else is going to hire me if I lose this job, and I am definitely going to lose this job at this rate due to my health issues. I have no reason to get out of bed ever again. I have no reasons to wake up ever again. My life is over.

 

[Rodafina]

So this is how my life ends. Everybody I know IRL is telling me nobody else is going to hire me if I lose this job, and I am definitely going to lose this job at this rate due to my health issues. I have no reason to get out of bed ever again. I have no reasons to wake up ever again. My life is over.

Metalhead, the people in your real life that you’ve talked about here are known to be liars and narcissists and other people who do not speak from reason.

Not long ago you were considering leaving this job on your own accord and pursuing other endeavors.

This definitely does not have to be the end. It can certainly be the beginning of something new. You have made so many positive changes lately, and even if it was too much too fast and it doesn’t feel like the change has been permanent, you are moving in a new direction away from the sad and horrible things that have kept you down for a long time.

 

[Hazel_1914]

I'm with rodafina here. The people you know IRL aren't that reliable or even very nice.

I'd be out hunting a different job. You're not defined by your involvement in capital. Money isn't the measure of worth and neither is who you work for.

 

[Metalhead]

Yeah, my boss told me that if I do not have my sleep and health issues fixed by Monday morning, I will be out of a job ASAP.

 

[Metalhead]

I will look at job listings this weekend and turn in my two weeks notice Monday morning.

 

[Rodafina]

That’s crazy talk from her. You can’t put a short timeline on such things. This really could be a new beginning even though you feel like crap today.

 

[AprilR]

I have so much work to do due monday too, and i am not in a shape to complete all of them. Whatever happens will happen. I don't care at the moment.

I believe you will find a way to survive also. With or without a job.

 

[Hazel_1914]

Yeah, my boss told me that if I do not have my sleep and health issues fixed by Monday morning, I will be out of a job ASAP.

Your boss is an idiot, and doesn't know what being sick is actually like. Seriously that's so much crap there is already an old British woman trying to grow roses in it. Idiots!

She's set up to actively make it worse, is what she did, so I'd shoot for coming in Monday in good shape (pretending to be anyway) and hand her a two week's notice.

 

[Kayla55]

So this is how my life ends. Everybody I know IRL is telling me nobody else is going to hire me if I lose this job, and I am definitely going to lose this job at this rate due to my health issues. I have no reason to get out of bed ever again. I have no reasons to wake up ever again. My life is over.

No, never say that. Must snap into positive thinking.....write down what will make you happy and how you could do it. The thing is we drown in situations unless we learn to take control, I don't know the situation too well but it doesn't sound healthy. You always have good things to say and about my plant pet I love, when I water my plant, I have to water myself.

 

[Progster]

You need to get this sleep problem sorted out. Is it possible to get an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist to prescribe some medication?

I take a very low dose of an SSRI that also acts as a sedative, and it works a treat.

 

[Metalhead]

And my boss made it clear she is demanding I work from home today. She is calling me with all of these updates she wants me to put into the cloud system. Somebody shoot me.

 

[Rodafina]

. I talked with my doctor and got a note excusing me from work today.

Tell her you are not working today.

 

[Kayla55]

Have you considered a night job if you can't solve sleep issues? You need to look at problems affecting your sleep and happiness and also realised work is going to dictate you life.
My life is falling apart too! My attempts to fix family ties are hopeless, my dad walked out said since my boys play with other Hungarians they are @$_&+() so I said exactly, perfect little robots who never had to deal with life. It seems like so much work to reach my goals and I'm a vitamin nutto ....so energy and vitamin c and my shelf is overpacked with a vitamin bought each time I had to deal with another issue. I laugh at myself, and it's best medicine. Just remember we've all here lost jobs and it's not the end, it can be beginning of something new.

 

[foliodoe]

Hugs. No job is as important as your physical or mental health.

People say things like this, but oftentimes being unemployed is way worse for one's wellbeing. Depending on the circumstances of one's life, it can be a lose-lose proposition.

 

[AprilR]

People say things like this, but oftentimes being unemployed is way worse for one's wellbeing. Depending on the circumstances of one's life, it can be a lose-lose proposition.

Idk in my case right now my job is ruining my life and mental health. No one knows the future, whether they will have worse circumstances if they quit or not but right now, if someone is suffering i see no point to prolong that.