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Extreme naïveté

I find that assuming all things as truths in life, and telling without filter their internal thoughts and truths as they see it, or if even if one generalizes or categorizes, too much, this can be sometimes just as painful, hurtful or as dangerous as an occasional lie. If someone is totally blunt and honest, or assumes everything is true, yes, this can create dangerous or harming situations, like you have mentioned in giving out true personal information when asked, or if one day another seems truthful and acts that way, and you believe that, but you were really wrong as it was a lie they were telling you.

Remember this, a totally truthful person is not afraid to find fault of their own. A totally truthful person will never usually say one thing, but often do another. A truthful person will not just talk of everything negative or everything positive, but also share at least some negative or positive about an idea, situation, themselves, or another person. A truthful person will not need to make themselves look larger or more important than life. A truthful person will admit wrongs. And truthful neurotypical for instance should be ok with another wanting to verify that supposed important truth, if a skeptical or unsure person asks for such. A truthful person is rarely pushy.

Realize at least eight subjects should be either taboo or which societal members should be very hesitant to talk about to strangers, acquaintances, and even to their own friends or loved ones, unless they are ready for heated debate, as those topics that can be very sensitive in nature like involve religion, politics, sex, money, past relationships, prejudices, gender issues, one diagnosis’s, etc. Unless you feel those others are very receptive to hearing that, or would support you, or calmly disagree, or unless you trust that other or those others well, discussing such like to those others you meet in person will usually not get any good results, but bad, if not immediately, then later.

Talking of virginity for instance is seen as bad to most neurotypicals, equally by such men and women alike. They would focus more on you as being flawed there, instead of focusing on your honesty. Ironic is that many religious should see that as good, but might because of peer pressure or desire to put them on higher ground see that as not good to admit or share. That is unfair, as I personally do not see that talk as bad, and I value honesty and that purity, more than shaming someone who talks of such private or concerning matters, but most do and will see it as a weakness or too private to talk about. Realize you will get more criticism and rejection than praise and friends from neurotypical, if you talk that virginity subject.

When I analyze a situation or person, first I look at what they are saying or doing. Then I look at what they are not saying or doing. I focus on facial expressions, body language, and mannerisms, and I look at the events, actions and behaviors that occurred before such, and the events, actions and mannerisms, that occurred after, to put things better into context.

Sometimes though, the way one looks or acts is telling of things, but sometimes not, as many people often will instinctively imitate voice loudness, mood and feeling that the other shows, or appear in some similar way to fit in, if able. Also, realize many could act very atypical in one situation, if there was something else on their mind that day, either very positive or negative, or if their condition was affecting them for the worse or better that day. What you see thus might not be them on an average day.

Remember too, the internet and social media can be both great, but bad for your health, with both benefits using such but harms. Look at all the spams and junk mail that everyone receives daily. Those are usually people trying to get money or something from you. Those persons who create such and send such lie often, but they are looking for naive persons. Twitter is filled mostly with business solicitations. Facebook can be filled with predators.

Then there are the pleasers and avoiders. I used to always be that way. I could avoid people that were too harsh or truthful in what they said, which made me more sensitive to critiques and rejection, but at the same time, at times, tell someone what they wanted to hear to be liked more, or to prevent more pain, if I had the ability then to think that quickly and tell such a quick fib. Those with poor self esteem like me during those younger years wanted to fit in. I eventually learned it was not worth all those efforts. I focused just on what I wanted to do for me.

So Lundi, there is no right or wrong way for you to process things, as each needs to do what is best for them, but realize that thinking extremely one way or the other, in terms of everything is true, or everyone is lying, probably will result either in more harms against you or more pain in this world, unless you avoid yourself from everyone in life, or have your parents be with you at all times and tell you who to trust or not, or what those others meant by their actions or sayings or not.

Otherwise, it could be best to realize that most people in life mean well, or mean no harm, if any small or bigger lie or secrecy on occasion occurs. Yes, there is a smaller percentage of the population that will lie often and feel no regret over that, either because of personality defect, or as they were trained to do this to take advantage of others..These people are the ones often in very powerful positions, desiring to get some satisfaction easily, or desiring wealth or prestige, with them trampling over anyone in their way. Those with conditions also need to thus be careful who they advertise their conditions to, for these reasons.

I can relate to everything you wrote. I find that I am not able to lie, but try to not be blunt in being truthful. Still, my wife prefers dealing with people because she says I am too truthful.
 
If one is overly trusting and/or assumes the best in everything (e.g. that people don't have ill intents / agendas), what might be ways for them to be more cautious in their interactions with people and society?
 

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