• Feeling isolated? You're not alone.

    Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.

    Join the Conversation → It's free, anonymous, and supportive.

    As a member, you'll get:

    • A community that actually gets it – no judgment, no explanations needed
    • Private forums for sensitive topics (hidden from search engines)
    • Real-time chat with others who share your experiences
    • Your own blog to document your journey

    You've found your people. Create your free account

Doctors Don't take me Seriously

Yeshuasdaughter

Yeshuasdaughter

You know, that one lady we met that one time.
V.I.P Member
I have several somewhat serious health conditions that have flared up recently.

I have been in and out of the ER, and referred to several different specialists.

I am extreme 13/10 pain, and also very dizzy and sick, and having low blood pressure and nearly fainting, and edema and more.

Blood work and imaging shows things are wrong with me. But when I go to a new doctor they roll their eyes at me and try to get me out of the office as quickly as possible, and I don't get the same follow up care or treatments as other patients.

Today, I googled it to see if other aspies have the same experience.

And the answer is yes.

Do you know why they don't take us seriously?

We have flat affect when we speak. Neurotypicals sound all pleady I guess when it's serious. I think I sound desperately pleady especially when I'm in pain and scared, but to a neurotypical doctor, I just sound like I am exaggerating.

And here's another weird thing. Neurotypicals will say something like "I have the worst headache of my life"..... and all they mean is that they have a headache.

I come into the doctor saying "I have the worst headache of my life" and if I say that I mean it. Like my headknobs are pulsating like wom-wom-wom with pain, and light and sound is excruciating to experience, and maybe I'm about to literally faint on their floor.

So they think we are using hyperbole, being hystrionic.

But I'm literally sitting there trying to explain symptoms in a calm, almost scientific way, Here is my list. And I say things like "I've never been in this much pain before", or "Next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor with towels and ice packs around me." or "It's so bad I am bent over and nearly pee myself in agony".

I really really mean that. Those are serious symptoms. But neurotypicals say that kind of stuff to exaggerate about regular symptoms I guess.

Dang it. I am very sick, and probably spending the American taxpayer tens of thousands of dollars a month in hospital and specialist visits, imaging, and drugs.

Can't a doctor just hear my symptoms, know I am not making it up, and treat me? So often I get an eyeroll and I am just sent out the door. I am usually nonverbal and in shock at this point and it takes a few days to come to my senses and make a follow up visit where I once again plead my case with a little more detail.

It's insane. I hate neurotypical games. I have zero quality of life sometimes and these so called "doctors" won't treat me the same as their other patients.

I've said it before. Doctors only "practice" medicine. They're idiots.
 
I don't go to the doctor much, but i have experienced this,
and even posted a thread about 'cassandra syndrome' the other time,
i also think sometimes that some other person 'breaks a nail' and everybody go 'oh look what happened' but i can be in some insane suffering, and even don't get believed or supported or reacted to.

I think it has to do with how they perceive our expressions.
 
You know what sucks? I am getting ready to go to the Emergency Room for symptoms that flared up that I was seen for at a doctor's visit at 1 o clock today.

The doctor at 1pm rolled his eyes and ushered me out of the room within minutes.

But I literally this morning got stuck in the bathroom, and just now I couldn't stand up from my recliner. I was trapped. Crying for help I could not get up for the life of me.

And I tell the doctor this and he thinks I'm making it up.

Well right now, I'm laying in my bed after an excruciating several moments, needing to catch my breath, and letting the throbbing go down, before I gather my things and head out to the hospital.

I was at the actual specialist that was hired to treat this exact thing. He had me as a captive audience and shooed me out with an eye roll.

It makes me so depressed.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
You know what sucks? I am getting ready to go to the Emergency Room for symptoms that flared up that I was seen for at a doctor's visit at 1 o clock today.

The doctor at 1pm rolled his eyes and ushered me out of the room within minutes.

But I literally this morning got stuck in the bathroom, and just now I couldn't stand up from my recliner. I was trapped. Crying for help I could not get up for the life of me.

And I tell the doctor this and he thinks I'm making it up.

Well right now, I'm laying in my bed after an excruciating several moments, needing to catch my breath, and letting the throbbing go down, before I gather my things and head out to the hospital.

I was at the actual specialist that was hired to treat this exact thing. He had me as a captive audience and shooed me out with an eye roll.

It makes me so depressed.
Click to expand...

Well, if it means something me too, i am like 15 years after i quit a medic prescribed 'medicine' and almost killed me, and i still have consequences, and nobody even my family believes me, there is plenty of testimonies and doctors that are aware of cases like this in other places, if it were not for Jesus that gave me strength i would be in the other side.

edit: I realize telling painful stories maybe doesn't help.
 
Last edited:
Ironically this is something I have run into with medical professionals on the level of Medicare.

As if all my aches and pains are "par for the course" because of my age alone. Where I can go on and on about my lower back pain and the most they'll say is to either grunt or nod, but little else.

But then they already know I'm not prepared to indulge in any pre$cribed opiates, so I guess they don't bother with me as I'm not a cash-cow compared to some of my peers. :rolleyes:

As I posted in another thread, it's more about Adam Smith these days than Hippocrates.

Do no harm- not to a patient, but to the firm's bottom line. How can they take any patient seriously in this kind of environment ?
 
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is not right.

I have had that experience too, over 30 years of chronic pain. And I agree with tree, part of it is because I (we) are female and are considered (still) to be hysterical.

This is how I address it:

I pay nearly half my social security check in order to have a private doctor (takes no insurance) who believes me, knows me and provides continuity of care.

Before I retired, part of my work involved accompanying clients to their doctor appointments to ensure their complaints were taken seriously and addressed properly.

If you have anyone in your life who can accompany you and speak for you on these visits, it might help. In some areas, there a professional health care managers whom you can pay to do that.

It’s understood these things cost money. I don’t have much either.

Again, I am so sorry you are going through this. I will hold you in the Light.
 
I have always found that good doctors are lacking. Many don't seem to have the people skills and empathy to be a good fit for the job.

What has been going on in life recently that may have exacerbated stress and further aggrevated your physical symptoms/conditions/discomfort?

Ed
 
I'd look to get a second opinion.

I don't want to sound dismissive here, chronic pain, and pain of any sort is never fun and I know that we do experience pain differently so when it's getting to the point where we are seeking attention, it's up there and it is serious.

This next bit might come across blunt, I am not trying to offend. I've reworded this 4 times now.

What I would suggest is trying to better articulate your pain. I would suggest to stop saying things like you are experiencing 13/10 pain. Not to be rude but no, there is no such thing. 10/10 is the sort of pain you don't get to tell the Dr you have because by then you've lost consciousness. So if you're telling the Dr's you are experiencing 13/10 like you're telling us, I wouldn't as a medical professional take you serious. I'd believe you are in pain, but I would think you are exaggerating due to hyperbolic comments like that. Unfortunately it can be hard to put into words what I know does actually feel like a 13/10 as it's pain that you can't just ignore. The sort of pain that becomes your entire reality when it flares up.

That's why I go back to the very first thing is if your current Dr's are not taking your concerns seriously, find another Dr. And if that one doesn't, find another. Until you eventually find someone that is going to listen and give you the attention, and hopefully treatment, you deserve.
 
Wizardry said:
Do even women doctors seem to have a tendency to take women less seriously?
Click to expand...
I spent yesterday on a long drive.

While driving I listened to NPR. One program, which I heard twice, was a female doctor talking about this issue. (Addressing women's health care concerns).

She - a doctor, in the hospital where she works, nearly died because another doctor - female - didn't take her self reported symptoms seriously (internal bleeding following a C-section). Several other such events were also reported.

So, yes. Even female doctors... treating female doctors.

The subject blames it on the "culture" of medical training.
 
Last edited:
I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling, @Yeshuasdaughter. I hope you get well fast and get some answers to what is going on with you.

My profoundly deaf (NT) sister is dismissed by her doctors, too. I think her communication difficulties are the major reason why. For that reason, either her daughter or I go with her to every, single doctor's appointment. We ask the questions, we push for answers, we document that the doctors say, and we make sure that both she and her health care providers understand each other.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
I have several somewhat serious health conditions that have flared up recently.

I have been in and out of the ER, and referred to several different specialists.

I am extreme 13/10 pain, and also very dizzy and sick, and having low blood pressure and nearly fainting, and edema and more.

Blood work and imaging shows things are wrong with me. But when I go to a new doctor they roll their eyes at me and try to get me out of the office as quickly as possible, and I don't get the same follow up care or treatments as other patients.

Today, I googled it to see if other aspies have the same experience.

And the answer is yes.

Do you know why they don't take us seriously?

We have flat affect when we speak. Neurotypicals sound all pleady I guess when it's serious. I think I sound desperately pleady especially when I'm in pain and scared, but to a neurotypical doctor, I just sound like I am exaggerating.

And here's another weird thing. Neurotypicals will say something like "I have the worst headache of my life"..... and all they mean is that they have a headache.

I come into the doctor saying "I have the worst headache of my life" and if I say that I mean it. Like my headknobs are pulsating like wom-wom-wom with pain, and light and sound is excruciating to experience, and maybe I'm about to literally faint on their floor.

So they think we are using hyperbole, being hystrionic.

But I'm literally sitting there trying to explain symptoms in a calm, almost scientific way, Here is my list. And I say things like "I've never been in this much pain before", or "Next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor with towels and ice packs around me." or "It's so bad I am bent over and nearly pee myself in agony".

I really really mean that. Those are serious symptoms. But neurotypicals say that kind of stuff to exaggerate about regular symptoms I guess.

Dang it. I am very sick, and probably spending the American taxpayer tens of thousands of dollars a month in hospital and specialist visits, imaging, and drugs.

Can't a doctor just hear my symptoms, know I am not making it up, and treat me? So often I get an eyeroll and I am just sent out the door. I am usually nonverbal and in shock at this point and it takes a few days to come to my senses and make a follow up visit where I once again plead my case with a little more detail.

It's insane. I hate neurotypical games. I have zero quality of life sometimes and these so called "doctors" won't treat me the same as their other patients.

I've said it before. Doctors only "practice" medicine. They're idiots.
Click to expand...
I saw a kidney specialist no issue, as I left He said watch your sugar you are 5,4 talked real diabetics at party asked them about 5,4 their retort that's my target. Was this doctor a idiot My dad before he passed was diabetic, I like facts not moronic comments.
 
I've definitely seen some of this. I wish I knew the solution because that sounds frankly terrifying!


One time a nurse waited until the doctor was gone then fixed the problem and told me what to do in the future. Sometimes you can luck into good people.
 
I think my family doctor left side of bell curve in class, specialist probably his buddy.My last family doctor was Rhodes scholar, getting older was losing it.
 
When I was younger my mom had to get her appendix out the day before Easter. She told me later that they almost sent her home thinking it was a bladder infection or something, because her symptoms weren't as bad as they are in a lot of other people with appendicitis. If she had gone home things would have gotten very ugly for sure, she said the when the surgeon removed the appendix it practically burst in their hand. I don't how she knew this if she was under general anesthetic the whole time, and I'm sure they would never let her know how close she was to the appendix rupturing before it was removed.

Doctors want you to think they never make mistakes even though they're human, because they'll get the pants sued off of them if they do. They once thought that babies didn't need love to survive as long as all other needs were being met. They even thought babies couldn't even feel pain. They used to treat patients in mental hospitals by injecting insulin into them until they went into a coma.

Of course, it's a lot worse in the US where they treat it like a business and people need thousands of dollars for surgery. For some reason giving everyone the health care they need is "wrong".
 
I wish I had answers, as well. I had to get heated and direct with two neurologists back in November concerning my daughter. They didn't want to listen. I pointed out that I was being firm because they weren't even listening to my daughter who has been telling them over and over and over what her symptoms, patterns and just everything have been per her seizures. Why were they ignoring it and continually trying to test for other stuff that didn't make sense? Also, after just laying into them and reciting from memory, every single contradiction they'd told us the last year and even in the office that day, I flat out demanded that they need to take seriously and test the symptoms we keep pointing out, otherwise we're going to tell the highest level other professionals that they didn't even make an effort to do so. What do you know...she's getting said specific testing soon, and they quit jacking around with her meds to put her back where she was (at least somewhat stable) a few months ago. Ugh.

I feel the frustration in your words. I can only suggest being so firm, as well. Rattle their senses, point out any BS contradictions and scold any lack of compassion or effort on their part.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom