Do you think it is ever right to get attacked on your appearance?

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

The answer is regardless of how you look it is not right. Beautiful and aesthetically attractive people have insecurities and can be just as insecure as a person society deems as ugly.
Beautiful people get put down too sometimes even more because of jealousy and misconceptions
It is just prejudice and plain wrong.
Especially with an autistic who may have visual sensitivity and sensory issues and struggle with body sense and body image and there is no shame in that
You have enough people to put you down in life without having to struggle with prejudice over the way you look.
And a woman and her body shape is important to her so it is downright rude and nasty for anyone to receive that.
And also it is plain wrong for women to be jealous of other women. The reality is each woman has her own struggles and that kind of behaviour needs changing in a person even if it is just in their hearts, they need a heart check.
Envy can really hurt a woman severely and I feel sorry so many women have to endure that in society.

 

[Judge]

The tragedy that society's basis for aesthetics and beauty not being driven by a genuine sense of collective rationalization, but rather the intent of monetary gains of the cosmetic, fashion and film industries. Manipulating the masses through mass media on a 24/7 basis. When people really think there is a collective sense of beauty that should be mercilessly enforced, when it reality it's just a way of getting you to buy products and services to fulfill shareholders' demands.

It's really tragic in that sense. An unnecessary and unreal standard being applied. One accepted by so many, and yet so few can actually attain it. Kind of like the myth of the "American Dream". A toxic recipe for any society.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

To me indoctrination in expectations for women's fashion and appearance starts early. With that so ingrained, negative comments surely must hurt. Attacking others for their appearance is both wrong and cruel.

I never had much money for clothes, so I took comments negatively. After a while I just did not consider fashion as something accessible by me. I may be autistic but that does not mean I am not observant. And, sometimes we are our own worst enemy. I could not understand nor process social communication. So there I was, while socially isolated yet hoping to connect, I never saw any girl's interest in me. Observing interactions with other guys, I thought that the lack of demonstrable interest towards me meant that I was profoundly unattractive. Besides a poor self image I developed a negative body image.

 

[Luca]

As someone with neither a conventionally attractive face nor body type, who constantly gets picked on and competed with by more attractive women, I relate to this so much.

I don’t think it’s ever okay to make fun of anyone about their appearance. There are so many people who are struggling with body insecurities and eating disorders, and there is so much pressure for girls and women to look a certain way, and it has a very negative impact on mental health.

I struggled with an eating disorder for several years, and after I overcame it I was told that I “let myself go.”
I don’t really care though because I’m happier with my body and my appearance now than I was back then. I just wish people could accept that bodies come in all different shapes and sizes and we don’t need to all look the same.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Yes, you are right and it is not easy not to be influenced by the media especially as a woman who loves movies and fashion.
And societies views of body prejudices and the divide between body types as more curved and bigger woman too are looked on as less and skinny as beautiful.
But what the media finds as beautiful is not always beautiful in an aesthetic view, it is just one type and one type is definitely not really beautiful artistically, uniqueness is what is exquisite.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

To me indoctrination in expectations for women's fashion and appearance starts early. With that so ingrained, negative comments surely must hurt. Attacking others for their appearance is both wrong and cruel.

I never had much money for clothes, so I took comments negatively. After a while I just did not consider fashion as something accessible by me. I may be autistic but that does not mean I am not observant. And, sometimes we are our own worst enemy. I could not understand nor process social communication. So there I was, while socially isolated yet hoping to connect, I never saw any girl's interest in me. Observing interactions with other guys, I thought that the lack of demonstrable interest towards me meant that I was profoundly unattractive. Besides a poor self image I developed a negative body image.

Yes I bet it can affect both men and women especially as an autistic. I think it does affect men too and men worry about their weight and appearance and are affected by the media as well.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Yes, you are right and it is not easy not to be influenced by the media especially as a woman who loves movies and fashion.
And societies views of body prejudices and the divide between body types as more curved and bigger woman too are looked on as less and skinny as beautiful.
But what the media finds as beautiful is not always beautiful in an aesthetic view, it is just one type and one type is definitely not really beautiful artistically, uniqueness is what is exquisite.

I am very happy that when I started coming out of my cage I developed the aesthetic that if a woman had good values, character and interests, and an accepting personality, I would find her lovely and not concentrate on appearance.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

As someone with neither a conventionally attractive face nor body type, who constantly gets picked on and competed with by more attractive women, I relate to this so much.

I don’t think it’s ever okay to make fun of anyone about their appearance. There are so many people who are struggling with body insecurities and eating disorders, and there is so much pressure for girls and women to look a certain way, and it has a very negative impact on mental health.

I struggled with an eating disorder for several years, and after I overcame it I was told that I “let myself go.”
I don’t really care though because I’m happier with my body and my appearance now than I was back then. I just wish people could accept that bodies come in all different shapes and sizes and we don’t need to all look the same.

That is very true, it is easy to be affected by the divide in society between body shapes and how you are supposed to fit in a box thin or plus size.
I see so many plus sized women food shamed which is so wrong and just because you are plus size does not mean u do not eat healthy and also made to feel less and seen on as ugly just because they are curved and bigger.
And it is like woman do not give compliments or receive compliments like it is not right to call an non conventionally good-looking woman as beautiful or say anything pleasing or lovely about their appearance and if you say anything to that way to someone who does not love themselves it is awkward when they do not accept the compliment.
I am glad you got over your eating disorder, you go girl.
It is hard when u have sensory issues as an autistic very easy 2 feel body insecure or body shame.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I am very happy that when I started coming out of my cage I developed the aesthetic that if a woman had good values, character and interests, and an accepting personality, I would find her lovely and not concentrate on appearance.

Yes so true and just love her for her because as long as you love her appearance because she is special to you and her inner traits that is the main thing. Inner beauty is more lovely than outer beauty not many people would want a pretty, but mean girl.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

For the most part, physical aesthetics are more a cultural and personal phenomenon. What makes a person physically attractive or ugly, really is in eye of the beholder. I guess I am taking that from the hundreds, perhaps thousands of women I have worked with over these many years, listening to their conversations, seeing photos of their spouses, Facebook, Instagram, etc. There is quite a bit of diversity in what a woman perceives as physically attractive. The same could be said about men. I find myself taking a second look at other women who look similar to my wife. Why?

Then, there are the results of body modification, for example, tattoos, piercings, implants, plastic surgeries, etc. Every now and then, I just look at some of these people and think, "What were they thinking?" "Why would you go out of your way and pay someone to make you less attractive?"

Physical aesthetics, especially surrounding the topic of obesity, socially and culturally, appears a bit "schizophrenic" to me. One person encouraging an overweight person to express her/himself and show off their body in a bathing suit, that somehow they are "brave and beautiful". The next person is just plain nasty with their negative comments. The next person criticizing the cultural "acceptance" of what appears to be an unhealthy body. I try to stay out of the conversation, but it is interesting to step back and observe.

So, is it right to attack someone on the way they look? Context and perspective. If it's something you were born with and can't help, it is what it is, then NO. Then there are situations were, sometimes, a person's appearance simply isn't appropriate for the environment. I wouldn't be the one bold enough to attack someone in those situations, but there's a lot of people now-a-days that act out their emotions and will.

 

[damoisellepeachy]

I’m gonna be honest, I always felt like nobody understood why I feel not pretty compared to other women. I used to get bullied severely in middle school for being considered ‘fat’ to my peers and it caused me to get deep rooted insecurities I still have to this day. I’ve always felt like the ugly/nerdy girl because I never had anyone ask me out or even have a crush on me. I know that appearances aren’t considered ‘everything’ but if someone isn’t pretty or conventionally attractive they can get judged just for something as simple as that

Sorry just wanted to vent that

 

[autism-and-autotune]

The answer is regardless of how you look it is not right. Beautiful and aesthetically attractive people have insecurities and can be just as insecure as a person society deems as ugly.
Beautiful people get put down too sometimes even more because of jealousy and misconceptions
It is just prejudice and plain wrong.
Especially with an autistic who may have visual sensitivity and sensory issues and struggle with body sense and body image and there is no shame in that
You have enough people to put you down in life without having to struggle with prejudice over the way you look.
And a woman and her body shape is important to her so it is downright rude and nasty for anyone to receive that.
And also it is plain wrong for women to be jealous of other women. The reality is each woman has her own struggles and that kind of behaviour needs changing in a person even if it is just in their hearts, they need a heart check.
Envy can really hurt a woman severely and I feel sorry so many women have to endure that in society.

I'm unsure if this answers your question, but folks occasionally aggressively question me on why I still wear a mask. It's a part of my appearance as much as my resting neutral face is.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I’m gonna be honest, I always felt like nobody understood why I feel not pretty compared to other women. I used to get bullied severely in middle school for being considered ‘fat’ to my peers and it caused me to get deep rooted insecurities I still have to this day. I’ve always felt like the ugly/nerdy girl because I never had anyone ask me out or even have a crush on me. I know that appearances aren’t considered ‘everything’ but if someone isn’t pretty or conventionally attractive they can get judged just for something as simple as that

Sorry just wanted to vent that

You are right to vent. Early on, I learned never to talk about girls I liked or had a crush on to other guys. In HS, I had a crush on an intelligent nerdy girl with curves. Once I mentioned to somebody I thought of as a friend that I liked her. He started denigrating her appearance and I felt ashamed at bringing it up. How dare he, to me, an unrecognized autistic dealing with a paralyzing fear of being judged. I really started withdrawing then and I regret not connecting with some of the girls I admired. Doing so may have brightened my miserable life.

 

[Kisa the tea]

As someone with neither a conventionally attractive face nor body type, who constantly gets picked on and competed with by more attractive women, I relate to this so much.

I don’t think it’s ever okay to make fun of anyone about their appearance. There are so many people who are struggling with body insecurities and eating disorders, and there is so much pressure for girls and women to look a certain way, and it has a very negative impact on mental health.

I struggled with an eating disorder for several years, and after I overcame it I was told that I “let myself go.”
I don’t really care though because I’m happier with my body and my appearance now than I was back then. I just wish people could accept that bodies come in all different shapes and sizes and we don’t need to all look the same.

This is pretty spot on to what I would say. I worry enough about not looking good as is, along with worrying about society standards. People attacking my appearance would probably just make me break down. I wish there were more kindness towards everyone's different bodies.

 

[A Fluffy Gray Cat]

Not a woman here, but as a guy, I feel like I'd be picked on for my physique. I'm not muscular outside of my legs, and there's a huge emphasis on "self care" and working out as a man in the current year. I definitely agree with a lot of other people here with that the idea of the typical beauty/handsomeness standards are toxic.

Nobody should be attacked on appearance. There's very few exceptions to this, and even so, it will warrant way too much hostility especially on places that are as anonymous as the internet.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

This is pretty spot on to what I would say. I worry enough about not looking good as is, along with worrying about society standards. People attacking my appearance would probably just make me break down. I wish there were more kindness towards everyone's different bodies.

Hugs to you, Kisa. Remember that you are huggable if somebody tries to denigrate you.

 

[kenaij]

Being attacked for it is never right. But I do think certain choices of look should be expected to be met with opinions. This can be a wide range of things that diverge from the norms. But with this I stricly mean choice of appearance and not appearance that you get through DNA.

Also do not make the mistake in thinking this is only a women’s problem. Men are put at just as high of a standard it is just much less obvious

 

[Au Naturel]

The answer is regardless of how you look it is not right. Beautiful and aesthetically attractive people have insecurities and can be just as insecure as a person society deems as ugly.
Beautiful people get put down too sometimes even more because of jealousy and misconceptions
It is just prejudice and plain wrong.
Especially with an autistic who may have visual sensitivity and sensory issues and struggle with body sense and body image and there is no shame in that
You have enough people to put you down in life without having to struggle with prejudice over the way you look.
And a woman and her body shape is important to her so it is downright rude and nasty for anyone to receive that.
And also it is plain wrong for women to be jealous of other women. The reality is each woman has her own struggles and that kind of behaviour needs changing in a person even if it is just in their hearts, they need a heart check.
Envy can really hurt a woman severely and I feel sorry so many women have to endure that in society.

No.

Actually, I don't think people should ever be personally attacked for any reason.

It does make the attacker feel good. Other people share in the attacker's pleasure if they don't happen to like the person under attack. Like any bully, it makes them feel superior. It changes nothing for the rest of us. Ad hominem attacks are the tools of spiteful, vengeful, and manipulative people who can't win an argument on its merits. They don't just degrade the state of the discussion, they are intended to avoid honest discussion.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

Wait, I think I misread the question earlier. The words somehow got rearranged as I read them.

No I don't think it's right for anyone to be attacked for their appearance at all, for any reason.

 

[Au Naturel]

This is pretty spot on to what I would say. I worry enough about not looking good as is, along with worrying about society standards. People attacking my appearance would probably just make me break down. I wish there were more kindness towards everyone's different bodies.

I would give everyone a crash course on body positivity. All bodies are good. If they weren't, we'd all be dead.