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Do you over or under exaggerate

Crossbreed said:
@Pats , I thought that your nursing background might have made you more stoic about medical procedures. Your autism, further, underestimates the emotions that inevitably follow.
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And what is it - when my kids were young and at the age that they loved gory movies, I would come home and tell them stories and they'd make me stop. I'd be puzzled because they liked that stuff in the movies. Like trying to be inconspicuous looking for a glass eye that may have fallen out, but the learned that the patient didn't have a glass eye to begin with, just an empty socket.
 
Pats said:
And what is it - when my kids were young and at the age that they loved gory movies, I would come home and tell them stories and they'd make me stop. I'd be puzzled because they liked that stuff in the movies. Like trying to be inconspicuous looking for a glass eye that may have fallen out, but the learned that the patient didn't have a glass eye to begin with, just an empty socket.
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Reality bites. Hollywood? Not so much.
 
I have always downplayed medical issues. Once that really impacted my wife. She and the kids went camping. I had to work so I was coming up the next day. I did not feel good all day, but I worked through it. I was only 56, so I was not worried. That night my chest hurt and I was hot/sweaty. It was getting worse, so I drove to the ER. They said I was having a heart attack and took me to the cardiac care unit. There were no cell service where my family was, so I had to get a friend to drive up there to tell my wife what happened. She rode back with him while the kids packed up and came back. She said that if I ever scared he like that again, she would kill me herself. I am more careful now.
 
I know I don't like being the center of attention so tend to understate things so as to avoid that and others getting worried. I'll bet some of that plays into your understating also @Pats.
 
When discussing facts and "information in general", I try not to over/under exaggerate at all. I try to be as precise as possible. This often comes down to me changing the word I was going to say mid-sentence, for example, because I felt like "excoriated" was too extreme, but "lambasted" was more on point.

When it comes to emotional things, I always under exaggerate. I had a lot of extreme emotional reactions to things (I guess we call those "meltdowns") when I was younger, and now - to fit in to society - I downplay my reactions a lot. I try to maintain a calm attitude no matter what. I even make jokes about it, saying "I'm really happy about that. This is my happy face." ... while holding a perfectly straight face.

I also try to avoid things that get me emotionally riled up. E.g. I can't watch dashcam videos of idiot drivers because I'm mad by the time the video is over and if I don't watch it, that anger will spill out into the real world. "Not getting riled up" fails spectacularly when I get engrossed in a book, movie, or TV show. For example, yesterday I watched "Raising Arizona" because I wanted to check out the "Family Play" feature on Vudu (No profanity! Yay!) and I got all choked up and teary-eyed at the ending scene. I was glad no one else was in the room.
 
I rarely have anything to play down, in relation to my health, but I would if I did. I definitely come over as calm, and my recollection is that initially in life I learned to be histrionic from my mother, but as I got older and out in the world, I just decided otherwise, which I was able to do I suppose because it wasn't inate behaviour, just a mask.

I like my independence, and fussing about anything draws the wrong kind of attention for my comfort, so I don't.

Having heard your health issues, @Pats , I understand why you play it down, but it does sound really challenging, could you maybe calmly possibly by email update your family that are close, your children I mean, and just say, no fuss please, but this is how it is, and this is what needs to happen.

You sound really stoic, but they need guidance how best to help. The brain tumour sounds tricky, I guess as a nurse you understand it better than most would, but still it must be challenging. Can your pain relief be improved?
 
Pats said:
Plus I would not want to burden anyone with having to help me.
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Often it's not a burden to people.
You are depriving them of an opportunity to help and feel good about themselves.

Other peoples stress or reaction is not your responsibility.

So my take is to express what you need to and think about the extra burdens you are placing on yourself and others by this habitual thought process.
(Hope that doesn't sound too harsh! This has been my process for a while,with similar thought habits)
 
I hear you. I'm quite similar to you in this aspect. I rarely talk about my problems to people in RL. If I do, I make it sound funny or like something simple and small. As you, I don't really want to bother people but more than that, I just don't see the point - most people wouldn't care anyway. It could be a drama fuel for a bit before people would forget I suppose. So, simply no reason to talk about stuff. If I'm to talk for the sake of talking then I prefer to at least make it funny. Less unbearable this way. Besides, it's never really that bad you know?

I'm sorry to hear about your health. I hope it gets better soon... Did you get something from your doc to make it easier or have sth else planned?
 
LucyPurrs said:
I know I don't like being the center of attention so tend to understate things so as to avoid that and others getting worried. I'll bet some of that plays into your understating also @Pats.
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Ah The Anglo-Saxon culture how very very dysfunctional it is , if only we would b e like Mediterranean people's the Greeks and the Italians shouting and gesticulating, I bet the levels of depression would drop dramatically and stomach cancer but oh god we hold it in, then we wonder why women get breast cancer.
 
onlything said:
I hear you. I'm quite similar to you in this aspect. I rarely talk about my problems to people in RL. If I do, I make it sound funny or like something simple and small. As you, I don't really want to bother people but more than that, I just don't see the point - most people wouldn't care anyway. It could be a drama fuel for a bit before people would forget I suppose. So, simply no reason to talk about stuff. If I'm to talk for the sake of talking then I prefer to at least make it funny. Less unbearable this way. Besides, it's never really that bad you know?

I'm sorry to hear about your health. I hope it gets better soon... Did you get something from your doc to make it easier or have sth else planned?
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Remember if you want @Fridgemagnetman to stalk you make sure you tell everybody that you like him doing it because they wouldn't understand
 
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