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Do you hide behind humor?

Lichi

Lichi

Think of an idiot, only smarter.
I’m a person who likes being goofy a lot of the times. I love pulling pranks on people, which almost always backfire when I’m doing it alone. Most of the situations I go through I make them look humoristic. I will often make a serious topic about me look a lot less serious by putting it in a humorous way so that I can hide behind it in case the other person doesn’t agree or criticizes me. Last session in therapy my therapist highlighted that I am the patient who laughs and makes him laugh the most, and it’s always related to anecdotes that are serious.

Do you use humor as your shield?
 
I use humor quite a bit. Can be very goofy. Though my wife has established very set limits as to what she will tolerate as far as goofiness goes. If I ever pull my sweat pants up to my chest again I will be a divorcee. But life can be a minefield and humor a excellent diffuser. But I don't see it as hiding so much, just a social skill. I will still reveal things and show my true self. Though I have seen people who hide behind it ("..tears of the clown when no one's around."). I do hide behind things, just choose different masks.
 
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I use humor for many purposes, but as a shield, specifically? Yes.

When you make a joke of something that isn't easy to reckon with, you end up never having to own those things.

Painful memories? Regrets? Current and future problems? I make jokes about them, and take on a cavalier attitude. People think I'm not taking things seriously, but I am. I'm just using humor to keep from having to own the emotional baggage that comes with those things. I still deal with them any which way, but in that way, humor is my shield.

Fo' instance: I sing the "credit card debt" jingle from Family Guy when I think about the crushing debt I'm currently battling. It's either that and I laugh and proceed forward with the situation normally, or I worry as much about it as society says I should and end up with rolling panic attacks and complete paralysis for dealing with the situation. So in that way, I guess you could say humor is both my sword and my shield.

***

Just because I made kind of an esoteric reference, here's the "credit card debt" jingle:


Although my lawyer would want me to say that none of the words in that video nor the song are my own, when I sing them I do so purely for entertainment purposes, and I have every intention of paying back my $30,000 in credit card debt.
 
Gritches said:
Just because I made kind of an esoteric reference, here's the "credit card debt" jingle:


Although my lawyer would want me to say that none of the words in that video nor the song are my own, when I sing them I do so purely for entertainment purposes, and I have every intention of paying back my $30,000 in credit card debt.
Click to expand...

He who dies with the most debt wins. :D
 
Do I use humor as a shield? Haha, not me. No, way...

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I try to be good with humor... I usually look like an idiot. I'm so freaking logical that most the time I don't even get a funny joke until someone explains it too me... Its at times pitiful, but then every now and then I will say something not even realizing its funny and people laugh... then I get confused and just move on...

The office manager says thats what makes it so funny because I don't realize it or even try... so its just random. I can do random effortlessly, but usually because my head is off somewhere far away... : )

They will ask me something and they KNOW I wasn't paying attention and I will try to come up with a reasonable answer not knowing (or noticing the subject has changed) and I will still be thinking on a past thing and give an answer for that... Yep, I look stupid, and yet they laugh but its mostly in fun I hope.

Dead animals is when people laugh the most. It has been one horrible thing after another this year. I hate it but it happens. We had a deer get hung under a fence right beside the pool, but it was heavily wooded and no one noticed her till she started smelling really horrible and they went searching out the smell...

So I have to go document all this, and help clear the situation. I gag really easy and just the thought of it can set me off on this thing where I gag while talking... They force me to talk about it KNOWING I'm gonna start gagging and they nearly start crying... They say the look on my face is priceless because I relive the whole thing... I think its sort of mean to make me basically drive heave in the middle of a conversation, but they seem to liven up... morons : )
 
No, I don't use humor all that often, unless it's with people who have known me for a long time. Humor is difficult to do unless it's slightly flippant, I tend towards slightly sarcastic even brittle humor rather than silliness.
 
People often think that I don't have a sense of humour because I don't talk much, and don't get or respond to people's jokes. But it's not true, I do have a sense of humour. I have a 'childish' humour, silly slapstick, farcical, toilet humour, Monty Python. I can be quite sarcastic at times and one thing I do a lot is say something that is the opposite of the truth while indicating quotation marks with my fingers.

The difficulty I have is getting other people's jokes. I don't have whatever it is that they have in their mind when they are making the joke and don't know what they mean. Or they are referencing something and I don't get the reference: I don't watch TV and am unaware of the various memes flying around associated with TV shows or celebrities.

Also, I can't do banter. Banter is a very important social skill which, seemly, all people must have to be part of a social circle and and be accepted. If you don't have it, you are not considered one of them, part of the group. People think that you are boring, can't take a joke, humourless and they dismiss you, ignore you and make fun of you. It's so hard to know when a person is being serious or trying to make a joke, and it catches me out a lot. It's one of my major social skills deficits. When I was a kid, I had a very hard time because I never knew when someone was making a joke or teasing me, and took everything seriously. So the other kids caught onto this fact, and began to tease me on purpose to wind me up and make me melt down.
 
Currently, absolutely.

I’ve found it’s better than anti depressants and can ease a tense situation.

I don’t yet understand all types of humour.

I know I can use it for deflection, if I want to ‘body-swerve’ something I might not be comfortable discussing.

At a GP appointment I was asked if there was a chance I could be pregnant.
I told him ‘not unless sperm can get through double glazing’
It was a fact dressed up with humour.
Saying No would have been quicker.

Whilst serving in the forces, the darkest of humour was superb for changing mood in pressured situations.
There’s an honesty in dry, dark humour.

Very recently, childish silliness has worked to lift my mood.
Unrestrained ridiculousness.
Lift the reserves and go for it.
(I don’t think we, as adults, do enough of this sort of thing)
 
It's my shield in many social situations, yes. Humor makes you more likable and less dangerous for others, after all. I don't bother with it when in a situation a perceive as safe or almost safe to me.
 
Well this is a very weird topic for me, I dont know how I use humor...

I mean some people say that I am sarcastic and that sometimes I use dark humor, or they even say that I am always using humor to defuse situations.

Like it depends on the setting I would say, but often I was considered like a funny guy at hightschool when I was younger or during vacation camp.

But most of the time, I just think of something and say it, and it comes up as humor for people around me, I have learned that I am using humor without being aware of it.

Like , for instance with my therapist last session, we talked about my psychiatrist tha gave me an appointement in 2019 while I was eager to get an official diagnosis as soon as possible.

And I said to my therapist that the psychiatrist was realy calm and try to confort me saying that eventually someone will give up an appointement before and I said that " yeah someone might die or whatever" and she laughed so I laughed back. But its actually what I was thinking like 1rst degree, i was not trying to be humoristic...

Or another time I was at the gym and the person managing our accounts at the gym told me that every month I had to re register my card each month If I wanted to enter the gym during specific hours ( I never went to the gym again kek) , I told her that if she gave me the log I could do it myself in order to not bother her, she laughted aswell.

Now I know that my "out of place" thinking , is considered as humor, so I put a more humoristic tone to it when I have a weird idea because I know it will be considered as humor , but this is just me thinking actually xD.

Its fun but at the same time well, it dragges yourself down a little because you think that no one will ever take you seriously.

I Think I know how to be considered a bit more serisouly, but , I need to put some effort in it sometimes, while being funny for others is just how I think when I interract with people by default, is that clear ? xDD
 
I like the question. Mainly given that I never thought about such a thing.

Hmmm. Maybe in fact that's exactly what I do. Just another aspect of masking traits and behaviors?

Good question. :oops:
 
I m trying to think what else humour is for apart from hiding behind? In my use of it. Or I would say, sheltering behind, more. But it's to be able to be seen, yet whilst sheltering I think. I'm uncomfortable when people don't use humour at all. I see that as scary.
 
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