• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Do you feel nervous when you pay?

It depends on what I'm buying. If I'm paying for food or gasoline at a gas station then yea, I get a bit anxious and just want to get out of there. I feel like I'm not paying fast enough or I'll make a dumb mistake while counting cash.

Same applies for a fast-food restaurant. The process of taking out my wallet and counting the cash gets me a bit edgy.

On the other hand, if I'm paying for something that angers me I don't get nervous. I get a bit pissed off. (Overpriced truck parts, non-warrantied tools)
 
Yes! I guess I'm anticipating some sort of misunderstanding involving extended explanatations and maybe more misunderstandings. Communication difficulties - I think I automatically take responsibility for them. But I 'm tired of that and I'm going to change that thinking - I actually like my literacy and I'm going to use it with conviction.
 
It all depends on how I'm paying. Using plastic doesn't make me nervous at all, and I'm fine if it's just change...but paying with paper can give me trouble, especially if there's paper coming back. It's because I just want to be done, and reloading my wallet takes time. :cold:
 
I almost always use my debit card. I hate using cash - I have to have it counted out beforehand. And if I get change back, I feel like I need to leave the store (or at least be walking out, if it's a big store) before putting it in my wallet.
 
For me there's a couple of factors that weigh in.

- I prefer to not deal with cash and rather pay by bankcard. I pretty much never have change in my pockets and if I have I usually run up to the bank to deposit any coins or bills to my account again.
- It depends on what I'm buying. And mostly where.
- And to some extent buying expensive stuff, especially if it's a substantial part of the money I have.

The "where"-factor contributes in so far, that if I buy for instance a new synthesizer in a music store, I know the employees are mostly just up for chatting about what they're selling and aren't really the smalltalk type of people. Similarly, I feel less akward in going up to an employee in such a store and asking specific questions about what they're selling. Somehow I think they're more used to deal with all kinds of "weird" people and are more focussed on providing information about said item, instead of some stores that are more focussed on selling a lot and just giving out general information. Maybe it's that some stores are just more professional and care more to making a good sale instead of making lots sales by "untrained" employees.
 
Come to think of it, YES! It's not so much the act of paying itself, but being forced to grin & interact politely & engage in inane chit-chat with some strange person when all I want to do is get the heck out of there.

Whenever possible, I shop online using Paypal to complete the transaction. I get groceries & pharmaceuticals delivered whenever possible & pay ahead so when the delivery guy comes, someone else can get the door or if I get stuck doing so, I sign the bill, take my stuff, give the guy a tip & say, 'Merci, au revoir!'.

If I need stuff they can't deliver, I try to go during off hours & use the self check-out. I have bad grocery store karma & weird things tend to happen to me whenever I go.
 
I don't mind paying at checkouts any more (I was too anxious to even go into a shop on my own until I was 15) but if I can I prefer to use the self-serve ones. I'm not good at making small talk, and I personally don't think I'd last long if I had a job as a cashier. Even now buying a lot of things I still get a bit anxious; I'm conscious of looking for my money, fishing out my driving license if I've bought alcohol, taking too long to pack my bags while telling boy scout bag packers "thanks but no thanks", etc. But if I'm only buying a few things I don't have a problem at all.
 
I find small talk completely pointless and I avoid it at all costs. Even at home, I don't talk much unless it's something I care about.

For the places I go to regularly where small talk is expected (local gas station & restaurant, work) I have a few lines that I just automatically say without thinking about it. Someone says hi how are you, I reply "Good, how are you?" But if someone changes it up a bit from usual then it gets a little embarrassing when I still answer with my usual reply!
 
Yes, I do, but oddly it's not so much when the cashier is chatty, but rather when he or she is actually sullen and silent! It's not that I enjoy chatty banter, as I don't, but I think things feel even worse for me if the cashier has zero customer service skills, because then the whole encounter is just one big ball of "awkward." Especially when I'm taking a normal amount of time getting the cash out but they still seem impatient and give big sighs. I prefer paying by card but sometimes would rather offload some accumulating paper and coins. The worst part is putting change back into my wallet/coin purse afterward. It really only takes seconds but somehow you get made to feel like you shouldn't be there anymore. I don't like to walk out of the store still holding money in my hand around passing strangers, as I don't think it's safe these days to do that, but I often wind up doing so.
 
I used to feel nervous when paying. What an odd thing to feel. Never really thought about that before. I used to have panick attacks at supermarket checkouts but never really figured out why. The worst bit is queuing. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind waiting, it is the queue which is the problem but I still haven't figured out why!! Oh and handling the money. It's dirty because SO MANY people have touched it and it smells. I prefer pretend money ie online banking and shopping.
 
I wouldn't say I have a problem with interacting with checkout clerks, unless I sense they did something wrong. Then my brain seems to have a mini-meltdown and I get occasionally flustered trying to communicate that I think something wrong may have occurred.
 
As someone who works as a cashier, I understand every one of y'all's issues.

When it comes to the social aspect, bear in mind, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW THEIR LEAD. It's okay to give the impression that you are not up for chitchat. Keeping your eyes downcast and minimizing your facial expressions is a good idea. If they seem unable to get the hint, too bad. They generally see a lot of customers over the course of their shift, and it's not likely to ruin their day if someone acts a little surly. If you encounter a cashier who seems rather impatient, again, don't worry about it. Either they are having a bad day, or they are jerks to begin with; either way, it's not your problem.

There are things you can do to speed up the transaction, as well. Lay your things out in such a way that it will be easy for the cashier to scan them. If you're using a card, look for a Verifone; if there is one, use it. If you're using cash, you don't have to wait for the clerk to be ready for you to hand it to them--laying it on the counter is fine (you can even pull it out before they're finished ringing you up).

---

As for myself...I suppose I don't worry about paying anymore. If it's a place I frequent and I know all of the clerks by first name (see: liquor store) and they're really friendly, I don't mind a little chit-chat. Most of the time I just follow my own advice and get out of there as quickly as possible, and it's no big deal.
 
I don't really mind paying, ppl just kind of take my money and then I say something about the weather or something and then leave. It was when I worked as a cashier that I got flustered.. I kind of had 4-5 pre-programmed phrases I would say to everyone to appear friendly (otherwise I caught crap from the manager) but when someone would say something other than what I was expecting I usually got kind of weird.. either way I'm glad I'm graduated from school so I don't have to deal with them anymore.
 
I have so much trouble at the checkouts. I have trouble finding my wallet, it seems to take me forever to put my change away, and more I shake the worse it gets. The absolute worst for me is using coin operated washers and driers. I can never get the coins in the slots, I drop them and then I drop clothes when I'm putting them in the machines. I drop clean clothes when I take them out of the dryer. The last time I did laundry, I put the coins in the three washers I was using, and I couldn't get a single one to start! It was awful to have to get help in such a crowded laundrymat. I felt really embarrassed, and the sad part is, I have an apartment sized washer and dryer that my landlord won't allow me to use!
 
I have so much trouble at the checkouts. I have trouble finding my wallet, it seems to take me forever to put my change away, and more I shake the worse it gets.

I have the exact same problem at checkouts. Eventually I started paying for everything with my debit card to avoid having to deal with loose change. I always take my card out of my wallet while I wait in line, or if the shop is empty, I do it before I approach the checkout.
 
Censoring myself can be an issue.:rolleyes:
I am likely to blurt out, for example :

"If Van Gogh could see you, he would want to paint a portrait of you. You are the type of model he loved to paint."

"You take excellent care of your uniform shirt. It's black, but there are no cat hairs on it at all. Do you use a special fur removing roller? Or do you have any pets? "

Or be mumbling to myself how much money to get out..."Well, $27. 56 is like 3 tens, 2 quarters, a nickel, and a penny. I have a bag of pennies."----which I think may give the impression that I am feeble-minded. Then making a point to not say "I'm not really retarded.":snail:

Banking transactions are much worse than variety store or grocery store. Banking requires a vocabulary that makes me feel foolish/naive/inept. Fortunately, there is one teller with whom I feel comfortable, and another that is bearable. Almost certainly I will freeze in the middle of endorsing something, making the signature very jerky/not free flowing, as if maybe I am forging someone else's name. I circumvent the difficulty of writing my own name by getting Cashier's Checks. :cool:

The lights are bright in the bank.
I read a story when I was little about a boy who...somehow, magically or in a dream...went about
without his skin. That would be awkward.
That's what the lights in the bank remind me of----:flushed:

Since the last time my eardrum broke, actually knowing what the teller or checker says can be tricky.:frowning:o_O
15 or 50 makes a difference.

What is my summary statement?
Ummmm.....short answer = Yes, apparently.
 
I get edgy if I buy goods in a fuel station but no fuel. They usually ask if I have had fuel and I always reply, "Only fuel for me". So lame, but I can't stop saying it ;)
 
Oh my goodness me, I thought I was the only one in the world to feel like this! I am always anticipating making a complete fool of myself!

I get away with it at the moment, because my husband does all the paying ie via credit card, but once I am mobile, I will have to take over and so, have to get used to it.

I must add though, that I do not live in my country and thus, find it horribly difficult!
 

New Threads

Top Bottom