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Featured Do you ever get nervous just to start something

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Jenisautistic, Jun 7, 2019.

  1. Jenisautistic

    Jenisautistic Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My aunt calls it anticipatory anxiety .

    When you’re starting something new do you ever get completely nervous and have a shut down or an anxiety attack

    Also does that happen to you and then you do the that you were going to start and you feel a lot better after

    For example I was really starting a singing program and I was so nervous at first but then I did really well after .

    Now my Nuro psychologist is telling me a bunch of things that I should do to get me healthier as a as in I guess rues I have to follow.

    I looked at that the whole list she gave me and what she said to me earlier and thought about it and then got completely overwhelmed shut down and thought I would never be able to do it now the next day I feel a little better about it

    Do you think I’ll be able to get through this as well Like with my singing program ?
     
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  2. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    Yes. It's one of my biggest productivity killers.

    For me, one of the biggest reasons for not starting something is that I don't have the entire project completely planned out and solved from beginning to end.

    I have to watch myself to recognize when I'm stalling. I have to give myself pep talks. I have to write down the steps to the task or make a written plan for how I'm going to tackle it. I write down the questions I have or the unsolved problems, and write down things to try - that helps me put the problems aside and gets me out of paralyzed-by-the-unknown mode.

    Most of all, I have to tell myself to just get started. Do one thing on the task. Do the part that I know how to do and trust that the solution for the rest will come.

    I have to make myself do enough to get emotionally involved in it that I want to see it finished.
     
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  3. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member

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    Its a good general way to make things more interesting by adding things to your life. The Nuro psychologist just messed up giving you a big list all at once. We tend to need to take things on one at a time and focus just on that for a while.
     
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  4. GadAbout

    GadAbout Active Member

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    Explain to your neuropsychologist that the long list of things to do was overwhelming to you. And don't be embarrassed about it!

    I never got any physical therapy when I had a broken bone last year because the physical therapist I usually see always gives me too much to do at home, and I seldom do anything. So I thought it would be a waste of time and money. So I do understand where you are coming from.

    In the past I have told her "Stop! No more exercises, or I won't do any of them." She is so eager to help that she always tries to give me "just one more" exercise to do. I trust her and I know she means well, but I just couldn't face it this time.

    Don't be as much a coward as me. Talk to your neuropsychologist. You can say "I need you to help me prioritize, and break this list down into manageable chunks."
     
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  5. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, to much all at once is not good. My advice is to see what you want to do most and do that first.
     
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  6. Kevin L.

    Kevin L. Well-Known Member

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    I understand very well what happens to you.

    People (in general) don't understand autism. In my case, new things are very difficult (and sometimes even painful) because of sensory issues.

    In a new situation, it takes considerable time and effort to sort through the sensory cacophony until I'm able to communicate and interract. People don't understand this, and become judgmental when we seem to need sameness and routine.

    As for the idea that sensory input can be painful....people don't get that either. I explain it by comparing the situation to the movie stereotype of a hangover.

    People with a hangover walk around inside with sunglasses because ordinary light is painful, and they beg people to stop talking so loud because loud, abrupt noises are painful. The actor Jack Klugman ("Quincy" and "The Odd Couple"--among others) was good at using this schtick in his acting.

    So, it seems normal--in my eyes--to be anxious about a future painful experience. Your anxiety is just as normal as if you were anxious about going to the dentist or anticipating some future painful medical procedure.

    I never understood why it's so difficult to get non-autistic people to see this viewpoint.
     
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  7. Kyou Nukui

    Kyou Nukui music is amazing

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    If I have a list of important things that need doing, I have to start with the least important, the lowest priority one. The anxiety from the pressure, or demand, associated with the highest priority task is overwhelming. Even beginning the lowest priority task can take me a long time.
    Being given a new ultra high priority demand that I "need" to avoid can actually help me to get on with the low priority task, because I can use that low priority task as a way to avoid the one I'm most anxious about.
    However, beginning anything can make me anxious, especially anything new. The longer and more complicated things make me more anxious. This includes things I do want to do, for myself, not demands. Having it all planned out beforehand does help, but it doesn't solve all the anxiety so I can still have a lot of difficulty.
     
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  8. tlc

    tlc Well-Known Member

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    Yes all the time. I have a tough time getting started with projects at work, but once I'm going I'm fine. What's difficult is we often have to start something when we don't have all the required information, we just have to throw something together (even if it's wrong) so we can get started. I have a difficult time with that.

    Sometimes at home when I've got a big project that I want to do (and know I can) I finally get started. Then usually at the stage where something's really torn apart, I stop and think to myself "I can't believe I'm actually doing this, but no going back now". But beforehand I do a ton of research and planning and try to imagine every scenario and choose the best way. I make sure I can actually do it or I don't even start.
     
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  9. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I can often feel nervous before starting new projects.

    I prefer to give myself a couple of days to think it through first,
    Sometimes that's not always possible so I attempt to break the tasks down into smaller actions.

    When you feel more comfortable with your singing programme, add one or two things from your neuro psych list onto your daily routine and work new tasks into your days over a period of time.
    (not all at once)

    I hope you're enjoying your singing programme :)
     
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  10. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Starting something new is often very daunting. I find it is helpful to break things down into smaller steps or stages and taking it one thing at a time. If it is something like a course or voluntary activity, I tell myself that I can give it a shot but it really doesn't matter if I can't do it or don't like it. That makes it easier to make the decision to start. If it's a new job, I concentrate on getting through one day at a time. I get very anxious with new students, but after one or two sessions it's usually ok.
     
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  11. Xerces Blue

    Xerces Blue Evil Overload

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    This is something everyone has to deal with to one extent or another.

    The best way I know of to deal with this sort of thing is music.
    Pick out some upbeat songs you like and listen to them before you start something.

    An experience I have to reinforce this was a time going to the range for annual rifle qualifications.
    My platoon ran the range, we had to go several hours early to get all the vehicles and ammo ready for the rest of the unit, the range is always 10 degrees too hot or too cold.
    I was a primary driver and my sergeant tasked me with collecting ammo for the operation.
    I had 2 others in my truck that morning, Both of which where flagged for promotion and so had generally low moral.
    After some Griping I got fed-up and put on an upbeat techno-esc song with deceptively depressing lyric (once you analyse the song you realize it's about regret and nostalgia) Confusing my platoonmates greatly as they thought I mostly listened to metal.
    They asked me to play it 3 more times.
    Before we reached the ammo point they had stopped griping and we ended up having a good time.

    Not sure if they ever realized how regretful the song really was, But it did the trick.
     
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  12. Sarah S

    Sarah S Active Member

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    No i cant say i do have those problems my self BUT when &/IF i get to much information or things to do that needs to done and so on then i get a shutdown and yes my stress /anxiety etc... levels going thru the roof.

    Try to take ONE thing at a time and DONT try to take on all of it at once then it gets overwhelming as you have noticed and you shut down.

    OF course you can get thru this my friend :p
     
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  13. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    I get anticipatory anxiety almost daily.
    It doesn't have to be something new, just knowing I have to be somewhere at a certain time and
    I don't like driving although I do.
    Getting myself together in time so I won't be late and when I start to drive I get anxious.
    No matter how often I do it, I still take time to do some relaxation techniques and deep breathing.
    Music helps me get through what ever I am having to do.

    Just like with your singing program, it gets better once I start doing a project or driving somewhere.
    It's just that nervous feeling at the start. :confused:
     
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  14. Sarah S

    Sarah S Active Member

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    I can defenetly relate to that being ON time is built in my DNA from both my parents & usely EVERY night before departure is SEVERE Sleeping disorders. & going somewhere new ( Especially while driving & my GPS dont work or show wrong etc... Makes my Anxiety go in to orbit :eek:
     
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  15. musicalman

    musicalman Active Member

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    I also can relate to this.

    One of the things I've started doing recently is making backtracks of songs. Someone would send me a song, and I transcribe it, note for note, instrument by instrument, but omitting the vocals or lead instrument. I know a friend who makes money producing such backtracks for clients, and so that inspired me to start doing them for live performances I do. One day I might try to make a business on the backtracks themselves and not on just performing, but I don't know if I could sustain the backtrack creation long enough. I burn out easily.

    Unfortunately, the process of doing a backtrack brings out the anxiety over taking on large/complicated projects. When I start a backtrack, I am initially freaking out because there are so many instruments, so much nuance to try and get down. When I started doing these backtracks sporadically about two years ago, I started by first transcribing the easiest stuff for me to hear, which was often bass. Then when that was done, I'd go to the next obvious, which was usually guitar, and then drums, and from there the order is anyone's guess.

    But I still freaked out constantly for two reasons. A, I spend so much time and effort on this process that I exhaust myself before I have much to show for my hours of hard work. And B, there's a chance that my hours of hard work will not even be worth it because the end result will sound horrible, and I won't know why. In fact I am so afraid of this now that I am afraid to start any new tracks. These fears are real possibilities and are too much for me to bare. And, if I have to do multiple backtracks in a set, a third reason for anxiety comes up: How much time do I have to finish this one before I should start on the next? I'm so burnt out, my concentration is slipping, but I still have to keep going, and get these done, even if it isn't coming together. That doesn't matter, these have to get done somehow! That contributes to my anxiety most of all.

    I have reduced my anxiety somewhat by taking a slightly different approach. When I started doing backtracks, I would transcribe instruments one-by-one, and only add instruments when I had to. But now, when I start a new track, I listen to it carefully several times, trying to broadly take everything in. Then, I lay all the instruments out ahead of time which I think I will need. I used to avoid this strategy like the plague when I first started, because I thought it would overwhelm me more. But actually, laying the tracks out ahead of time helps me, because it forces me to look at the big picture, which in a sense is something I am always afraid of doing. But by looking at the big picture right away, I can start to break it down before I put down a single note. I can mull over things like "How many guitars are there?" or "How difficult will it be for me to pick out what the strings are doing?" And by listening to the song a few times after making a template in my head, I can then ask myself "Will this template work for the whole song or will I have to account for odd things that pop up here and there?" My goal during this process is not to make any hard commitments. I might still end up changing a lot of things I initially set up a long time ago, but at least I have a mental musical outline right away, and I can just tweak that as needed. I can anticipate difficult spots earlier on.

    This only tackles one part of my anxiety though. It doesn't solve the problem of knowing that hours of hard work will pay off. It doesn't help me keep a healthy pace when working on a set of tracks. Dealing with my lack of concentration and procrastination is a totally different can of worms which I will have to tackle at some point. I keep seesawing between hating myself for procrastinating, and cowering in terror because I am so afraid of starting something I can't finish. And that seesawing is what makes me procrastinate as bad as I do.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2019
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  16. tlc

    tlc Well-Known Member

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    That sounds like some amazing talent right there. I so wish I could do that. I can play bass and some keyboard, but that's it. I try to play those parts of songs and get close to the original.
     
  17. SeanDIdgeridoo1996

    SeanDIdgeridoo1996 Member

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    I'm not sure if it's the same but I'll regularly avoid starting stuff due to fear of failure.
     
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  18. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    Do I get nervous trying new things. Heck yea. First time I attended my Church social actually that was the first time I did anything social in over an decade I was nervous, sweating but still accepted. I still get nervous, sweat even still going but I am calming down but I will be nervous again attending another new group Thursday.

    Why did I do it because I needed to get out of my comfort zone which was piratically just me staying home streaming reruns and listening to Ambient music all day (updated my signature since being happier I don't listen to much Drone Zone) so yes I do still get very nervous but I handle it but I am happier I did.
     
  19. Edward764

    Edward764 Active Member

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    I have a hard time starting new things because I have a failure script that I suspect started when I was a toddler. I believe that something will stifle me, such as lack of ability, no support, lack of patience, some bizarre and unlikely form of distraction or interference, and an inability to see the final result.
    In 1982, I started the beginning phases of my autobiography by putting 18 hours of my life story on audio cassette tape. This covered through about age 30. I would need another 18 to take me to my current age 61. I still have 14 of the fifteen tapes. I lost one.
    If ever accomplished, it would be a fascinating and controversial book that would garner a lot of attention in the field of mental health.
    I hope I am wrong, but I doubt I have the ability to write it, and I do not know who I could convince to publish it. This is why I have not made a serious effort to begin writing it.
    I hope I am wrong in my prediction that I will never complete my book.