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Corrupt A Wish

Granted. Cameron has been struck by lightning. He's not dead but has lost his enthusiasm for spike balls and hair. He now stares a lot,looking a bit like doc out of back to the future 1.

I wish son of the sea would sort his wishes out.
 
Granted. Now that all his wishes have been sorted out, he has no need for this thread.

I wish I wasn't always paranoid that people might be watching me.
 
Granted. You're no longer paranoid, a fact which is appreciated by all the stalkers who are watching you.

I wish Fridgemagnetman would leave me out of his wishes.
 
Granted. He was about to wish you your own island.

I wish the funny pages weren't so lame.
 
Granted. Unfortunately, his island was used to test the hydrogen bomb and... no longer exists.

I wish convocation would start now.
 
Wish Granted

A large formal assembly of werefolk has convened
in your bedroom to for their annual meeting
of the National Organization of Weirdness, and
you are the snack material of choice.

I wish I weren't depressed.
 
Granted. You feel ecstatic. However your ecstatic mood results in a terrible car crash and injuries because you were too busy feeling ecstatic to notice an oncoming car, at which time, in the hospital, you wish you were depressed again.

I wish Reedstorm17 was President of the United States.
 
Granted. Now, for some reason, the USA is now at war with the Central African Republic and is getting its butt kicked.

I wish the Central African Republic would shorten its name.
 
Granted, the Central African Republic shortens its name to 'Flinty'. which means that from now on you have to continuously explain to people that you are not from 'Flinty' (formerly the Central African Republic) but just by coincidence share the same name with it.

I wish Mexico could be moved a little closer to England.
 
Granted. A major earth quake has hit, moving Mexico right next to England. Did you think everyone could survive that?

I wish that one annoying section member would stop trying to use the green mallets to play the marimba.
 
Granted. He uses the blue mallets to play the marimba and the green mallets to play your temples.

I wish that the leakage in my bathroom would stop.
 
Granted. All water in your bathroom has stopped.

I wish there was a way to re-watch memories from your brain onto the computer.
 
Granted. You're found on the south side of Chicago.

I wish I knew where and how to look for love.
 
Granted. Love is right in front of you but as soon as you move towards it, it moves away. Love can run really fast you can always see it but never catch it.

I wish I had an army of drones so that I could turn everybody upside down so that I could catch all the money as it falls out of their pocketses,my precious.
 
Granted. But they turn you upside down once you have put all the money in your pockets, then they go off and buy more drones.

I wish I could remember everything I ever knew about accounting.
 
Granted. Then you get locked up in a small, dark, empty room. No use for accounting now.

I wish I wasn't hated by the entire marching band.
 
Granted. Now the band that hates you is Nickelback, and they have written a song about it that they perform at every one of their concerts.

I wish I knew whether to go to my class reunion or not.
 
Granted, you do know whether or not to go: you decide to go. However, being Autistic, you mistakenly think that your 'class reunion' actually takes place in your old classroom. You go and spend the evening alone because the party was elsewhere.

I wish I could be an Aspie at will (and a non-Aspie at other times).
 
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