selectivedetective
Well-Known Member
I introduced myself on another forum a few months ago and didn't receive a single reply. I think it was because I had self diagnosed. It's hard, in a few paragraphs, to say enough to convince people, but not so much you confuse people, or go off on a tangent... I know I don't need to "convince" people, but I know some of you will have more challenges than I do, and also more official diagnosis.
SO I am middle aged with children and my own small house. I have a degree and work from home. I said that bit to show I am coping, in the eyes of the world. I'm not sure if I'd be classed as HFA or Aspergers.
But also I'm not coping. I earn a small amount, don't have many friends, and have to constantly drive myself to focus and achieve things. This includes tidying the house, making phone calls.... I have to pace myselfl carefully or I can have melt downs
When I was younger I was a big drinker. THis helped me in social situations, but it also helped me focus in the evenings when I had work to do at home, and my mind was all over the place. I have always been described as "shy", but I have recently been looking into Selective Mutism. Someitmes I feel comfortable with people -usually slightly odd people -and we just click and get on and it's a breath of fresh air. But I am hugely anxious in a lot of situations, especially around men, or with more than a couple of people. Often I say nothing, so that I don't sound stupid. When I am anxious I forget the answers to really basic questions and I also blush and get out of breath through fear. When I was younger and people said I was shy, I hated it, but at least I thought I would grow out of it, and people though it was quite sweet. Now at my age I feel ridiculous getting tongue tied and blushing. I also come across as aloof and superior, when I don't talk.
I've tried to do a few things to help recently -quite a lot of sport, very little drinking. But here I am on New Year's Eve and very lonely and isolated. I have managed to network with my children, support them etc, and they have some good friends, even though they may have some Aspergers. Tonight they have gone to a small party with a very nice group. I here alone with my youngest. I have no partner, but I would love to have someone close and kind. I used to think that with a bit of positive thinking, staying fit and healthy, I'd be quite a catch for someone. But now I have been alone several years and realise no one even notices I'm there really unless I have had a few to drink. I quite liked a man I knew through sport and made a huge effort to talk to him and try to connect, but I have recently left this alone as he never seems to approach me first or even remember what we talked about last time!
I won't waffle on any more. Sometimes some aspects of all this are more important to me than others and perhaps I haven't highlighted the right ones tonight. I hope to perhaps find a few new ways to help myself from this forum, and perhaps find others in a similar situation.
SO I am middle aged with children and my own small house. I have a degree and work from home. I said that bit to show I am coping, in the eyes of the world. I'm not sure if I'd be classed as HFA or Aspergers.
But also I'm not coping. I earn a small amount, don't have many friends, and have to constantly drive myself to focus and achieve things. This includes tidying the house, making phone calls.... I have to pace myselfl carefully or I can have melt downs
When I was younger I was a big drinker. THis helped me in social situations, but it also helped me focus in the evenings when I had work to do at home, and my mind was all over the place. I have always been described as "shy", but I have recently been looking into Selective Mutism. Someitmes I feel comfortable with people -usually slightly odd people -and we just click and get on and it's a breath of fresh air. But I am hugely anxious in a lot of situations, especially around men, or with more than a couple of people. Often I say nothing, so that I don't sound stupid. When I am anxious I forget the answers to really basic questions and I also blush and get out of breath through fear. When I was younger and people said I was shy, I hated it, but at least I thought I would grow out of it, and people though it was quite sweet. Now at my age I feel ridiculous getting tongue tied and blushing. I also come across as aloof and superior, when I don't talk.
I've tried to do a few things to help recently -quite a lot of sport, very little drinking. But here I am on New Year's Eve and very lonely and isolated. I have managed to network with my children, support them etc, and they have some good friends, even though they may have some Aspergers. Tonight they have gone to a small party with a very nice group. I here alone with my youngest. I have no partner, but I would love to have someone close and kind. I used to think that with a bit of positive thinking, staying fit and healthy, I'd be quite a catch for someone. But now I have been alone several years and realise no one even notices I'm there really unless I have had a few to drink. I quite liked a man I knew through sport and made a huge effort to talk to him and try to connect, but I have recently left this alone as he never seems to approach me first or even remember what we talked about last time!
I won't waffle on any more. Sometimes some aspects of all this are more important to me than others and perhaps I haven't highlighted the right ones tonight. I hope to perhaps find a few new ways to help myself from this forum, and perhaps find others in a similar situation.
