Atheist Friend Keeps Shoving His Views Down my Throat, Doesn't Realize I'm Uncomfortable

[Fino]

Just to clarify, I did read your whole post and I'm not atheist.

What I meant was that you seem to be quite insulting towards atheists, and I was wondering if that was how you are with your friend. If how you're talking to us is how you talk to your friend then I recommend trying a different approach. Something a little gentler might get better results.

My response to Autistimatic was out of interest with what he said, I have no problem with religion and don't think it's relevant to the topic.

 

[Autistamatic]

I'll never understand why some athiests are so determined to get rid of religion altogether.

It's not a belief I ascribe to - I'm a live and let live type - but the reasons are quite straightforward and easy to understand and they contribute to the "loss of faith" of many people. Here is not the place to discuss it unfortunately.

 

[Nauti]

I really feel for you. It's valid to point out that what's he's saying isn't convincing you. That you hold different views. You don't have to justify your views.

Simply saying "Have you read the Bible?" Everyone has opinions but uninformed opinions generally have very little validity.

There's also a logic in stating "Just because you haven't experienced it, doesn't make it.untrue" .

Many atheists point out the damage that "religious" conflicts have wreaked, but fail to understand that people who instigate these conflicts tend to be political types who use the faith of the devout and the "follower's of the herd" to divide and conquor.

Does he realise that all western social welfare systems are built of the ethics of Charity that comes directly from those within the Christian faith? That is historic fact, not any kind of ideology, although the ideology of charity in the West is Christian at it's core.

It is very PC to criticize Christians in this day and age. I find it sad.

I have a very complex and multifaceted type of faith myself. I guess I am naturally religious, more in the sense of Thomas Moore (the modern one not the historic one) and not unlike many mystics of various faiths throughout the ages.

My son tells me he is an atheist. He is thirteen. I say "it's difficult to convince other's that they should not believe in something you know nothing about. it's important to differentiate between not trusting institutional religions, which are more often political and social movements from Faith, and inner communion with the unseen".
He says (he's a brilliant child/teen) I don't like religion because it's all about control, enforced control over people's minds" and I say things like, did you know it says in the bible "The truth shall set you free".?
So it's important to keep an open mind and investigate. I think Agnostic is a healthier and more open minded paradigm thst Atheism" and he says "I'm still an Atheist, mum" and I say "Well, I'm not, we'll have to agree to disagree.".

But I do see his point about a lot of organised religious institutions. I agree, lots are more political than spiritual or ethical in nature. Lots but not all, there are some lovely ones, full of kind and caring people too, of all denominations.

I like what a great man once said, I won't mention his name, for my own.reasons, - ---"Politics is for everyone but religion Is personal. Its between man and God and none know the ways of the Divine, for they are mysterious". Something like that anyway.

So your religious views and beliefs are your own and you don't have to justify them to anyone. True faith is beyond the realm of language and worldliness anyway.

This is a boundary issue for you, Joshua. Maybe just let him know, you want to be mates still, but you don't share his views and are happy with your own and you don't want to argue about it ?

Lots of people avoid talking about religion for good reason. People's views can be very diverse and it just causes arguments. i
it's a subject that people have very strong and passionate convictions about, not unlike politics and the two topics are often more entwined than people realise,.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

If that is the case then your friend was obviously using a reasoned and educated argument to refute your point of view rather than offering undue criticism of your beliefs.

No, not really. As I said, it's common knowledge that, when the dollar bill says, "In God we Trust," it isn't referring to just one god, but any and all gods currently being worshiped in this country and around the world. That is the way I see it, anyways.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

The solution to your problem is simple. Whenever he brings up the subject simply say "Sorry but I don't want to talk about religion, let's talk about *insert topic here* instead" and then move the conversation along. If he continues to talk about it, remove yourself from the situation, by getting up and leaving.

Also, if you speak to him in the same way that you have written here (I.e. Rather rude, condensing, and, yes, ignorant about atheists) you should really look to you own behaviour before trying to make him less 'ignorant and immature'.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

No, not really. As I said, it's common knowledge that, when the dollar bill says, "In God we Trust," it isn't referring to just one god, but any and all gods currently being worshiped in this country and around the world. That is the way I see it, anyways.

Do you have any reliable sources for this, or is it literally just 'common knowledge'?

I'll admit that I've always been rather confused by why a purportedly secular government appears to rife with religion. The 'separation of church and state' seems rather thoroughly bridged.

 

[Judge]

I'll never understand why some atheists are so determined to get rid of religion altogether.

One thing to consider. For those in the United States, they live in a country which constitutionally upholds freedom of religion.

Which in the eyes of some atheists is not the same as freedom from religion. Which can project a dynamic of oppression from their point of view. That for them, their constitutional rights are a mixed- even hypocritical message. Small wonder that some of them approach this in such an aggressive fashion.

Perhaps it's also worth noting the opposite of such dynamics as well. That while the concept of freedom of religion is upheld in our courts, that in certain instances the courts themselves infringe on such freedoms. Where there are absolute limits in exercising one's freedom of religion. Particularly where polygamy and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is concerned. Polygamy being illegal at the highest level of our law in the United States.

Laws and a legal system that pacify many, but not all when it comes to religion.

 

[tree]

@Joshua Aaron

How close have you come to figuring out how to deal with his behavior?
You mentioned speaking to the other guy's mother.

What would you say to her?

Or do you have another plan, like just saying "I am not interested"
when he starts up again? Or what?

 

[Joshua the Writer]

@Joshua Aaron

How close have you come to figuring out how to deal with his behavior?
You mentioned speaking to the other guy's mother.

What would you say to her?

Or do you have another plan, like just saying "I am not interested"
when he starts up again? Or what?

I've tried to say that I wasn't interested, but he didn't responded to first 2, 3, 4, or maybe even 5 times. I might just speak to his mother.

After all, I KNOW that he is one of the more volatile people when it comes to his beliefs or opinions.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Do you have any reliable sources for this, or is it literally just 'common knowledge'?

I'll admit that I've always been rather confused by why a purportedly secular government appears to rife with religion. The 'separation of church and state' seems rather thoroughly bridged.

Well, my American Government textbook is something I need to complete the class.

 

[Mr Allen]

Officially I'm Christian, as I was Christened when I was a baby, but I'm actually an Atheist, but I don't make a thing of it to anyone.

My Sister in law's Roman Catholic.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Officially I'm Christian, as I was Christened when I was a baby, but I'm actually an Atheist, but I don't make a thing of it to anyone.

My Sister in law's Roman Catholic.

This has to do with my question of trying to get him not to shove his views down my throat... How?

 

[tree]

As I see it, the basic issue between you two is his aggressive conversation,
not the particular topic. He could be (but isn't) talking about any topic
whatsoever. Cars. Motorcycles. Food. Actresses. Anime. Manga. et cetera.

When Person A insists that his view on....whatever...transcends the validity
of the view of Person B, that is aggression. Frequently in this thread people
have been going off track, focusing on the content of his conversation.

The problem isn't the content. It's the presentation.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

As I see it, the basic issue between you two is his aggressive conversation,
not the particular topic. He could be (but isn't) talking about any topic
whatsoever. Cars. Motorcycles. Food. Actresses. Anime. Manga. et cetera.

When Person A insists that his view on....whatever...transcends the validity
of the view of Person B, that is aggression. Frequently in this thread people
have been going off track, focusing on the content of his conversation.

The problem isn't the content. It's the presentation.

He has also acted toxicly (please excuses my French, I lacked a better term) towards me when I said that I prefer to play on PC rather than consoles, and tried to explain to him why, but he blew it way out of proportion and wouldn't listen to my arguments, or even let me talk at all, for some reason. This even happened at his house, but his parents only focused on me trying to talk over him as "rude" rather than the irrational behavior he was displaying.

He also based his opinions in gaming past (like how the NES "saved" gaming, and disregarded that it wasn't that Nintendo system saved gaming in the U.S., but the PCs and ONLY the PCs that were used to develop the game, but somehow thought that the Turbo Graphix FX, which was released at around the same time, is debateably one of the first, if not THE first gaming PC). He also knows nothing about the average mid-range Windows 10 desktop, what is under the hood of those machines, how they are pieced together, and not much about computers in general.

However, he INSISTS on yelling about how I only like playing on PC (I use my Nintendo 2DS to play a few Monster Hunter Games quite often, and I don't mind playing split-screen games on my friend's consoles as long as it isn't a shooter) and I don't want to admit the faults of PC gaming (I have an account for at least 3 different DRMs for the games I play, console games only require 1 account). Ironically, he doesn't recognize his favored gaming platform's faults.

He is very hypocritical and quite irrational. I can't talk him directly about it out of fear of setting him off and screwing up my hearing by yelling into the low-quality mic of his Android 4.0 cellphone about how I am "offending" him and making HIM "uncomfortable."

He's a very irrational and hard-to-deal-with person, but I love him, since I am (and hopefully still am after who-knows-how-soon) his friend, and I want him to see him be a better person. I know he can be a better person, he just has to stop making excuses for not improving and let me and his family help him be a better person!

However, I feel like I have to tell his my to notify him about my concerns. As much as I love my friend, he is starting to be harder and harder to be around. I just want our friendship to last.

 

[tree]

And rather than counter his aggression with aggression of your own,
what is required is that you assert yourself. Assertion doesn't
overstep anyone's boundaries or rights. Assertive behavior is
standing up for yourself in a calm and positive way.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

And rather than counter his aggression with aggression of your own,
what is required is that you assert yourself. Assertion doesn't
overstep anyone's boundaries or rights. Assertive behavior is
standing up for yourself in a calm and positive way.

I don't even get aggressive with him, and he acts like I do. What should I tell to his mom?

 

[tree]

What do you want to be able to say to his mother?

Do you plan to describe the conversations?

What is it that you want to happen, as far as your relationship with your friend?

I think what you are saying is that you want him to stop being aggressive toward you.
That might require defining the words aggression and assertion.

You might take up this topic with your therapist, too.
You don't have to identify the individual.
You would be asking for guidance in assertive behavior.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Why exactly are you friends with him? It sounds like you dislike him quite a bit.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Why exactly are you friends with him? It sounds like you dislike him quite a bit.

I don't dislike the guy. He just gets annoying sometimes.

We have agreed with each other not to talk about the PC vs. Console debacle or politics, but we haven't agreed on not talking about religion. Our conversations are mostly us basically doing weird improv bits or just plain old screwing around, anyways. We are that good of buddies, but him showing the types content creators he watches on YouTube makes me uncomfortable.

 

[tree]

That the two of you have agreed not to talk about/debate with/preach to each
other on those topics is a good sign that you may be able to work out a similar
pact regarding religion. As being Off Limits.