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Atheist Friend Keeps Shoving His Views Down my Throat, Doesn't Realize I'm Uncomfortable

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What do you want to be able to say to his mother?

Do you plan to describe the conversations?
I'm not sure what to say. I don't know if it should be formal or not. I guess formal is the way to go. But then what do I start I start with?

I could say: "Ma'am, I'm a Christian, and [my friend's name] has been turning on YouTube videos about atheists disrespecting my religious beliefs, and those videos are full of generalizations and keep on saying that all people who practice my religion are a bunch of ignorant, disgusting, unintelligent, uneducated, and awful people."

I would then follow up with, "He keeps on talking about how my beliefs are bad, and that my beliefs are inferior to you and your family's beliefs. I respect your beliefs, and I know that you, as an adult, respect mine. However, [friend's name] has been making me uncomfortable whenever he speaks about and turns on those YouTubers that're obsessed with 'debunking' the bible instead of reading between the lines, which I find offensive and disrespectful to my faith, and it makes me very uncomfortable.

Does this sound good to you?
What is it that you want to happen, as far as your relationship with your friend?

I think what you are saying is that you want him to stop being aggressive toward you.
That might require defining the words aggression and assertion.
He hasn't been aggressive to me when it comes to religion, since I haven't mentioned that what he was doing was bothering me, and I rarely mention my religion to him unless he takes a joke way too far.
  • For example, he made a joke similar to this wording: What do you get when you give a German Christian a gun? You get [sorry, too offensive, very ban-worthy].
Can you give me examples of assertion and aggression? I got both mixed up a ton.
You might take up this topic with your therapist, too.
You don't have to identify the individual.
You would be asking for guidance in assertive behavior.
I have mentioned my friend's name to my therapist before. If I say anything about my friend to my therapist, she can't say anything about what I have said to her because state code doesn't allow that. I believe I can talk to her about it no problem.
 
That the two of you have agreed not to talk about/debate with/preach to each
other on those topics is a good sign that you may be able to work out a similar
pact regarding religion. As being Off Limits.
I wish it were that simple...

He isn't the most mature person.
 
Your friend has been aggressive toward you when he makes rude jokes
about your beliefs. Aggression doesn't have to be physical or even shouting.
It is the tone and implication that what he thinks is more important & true
than your thoughts.

Here is a link that you can read about the passive, aggressive, and assertive
behavior. Assertiveness - An Introduction | SkillsYouNeed
Study on that material and you will be able to keep the ideas straight in your mind.
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The script you have written out in Post #41 looks good to me.
I think that if you run that by your therapist, she can help you work it out
so that you feel comfortable and can be effectively assertive saying it.
 
Your friend has been aggressive toward you when he makes rude jokes
about your beliefs. Aggression doesn't have to be physical or even shouting.
It is the tone and implication that what he thinks is more important & true
than your thoughts.

Here is a link that you can read about the passive, aggressive, and assertive
behavior. Assertiveness - An Introduction | SkillsYouNeed
Study on that material and you will be able to keep the ideas straight in your mind.
=========
The script you have written out in Post #41 looks good to me.
I think that if you run that by your therapist, she can help you work it out
so that you feel comfortable and can be effectively assertive saying it.
Thank you. My online school (which my friend also goes? to) also offers an Emailing system that they call "WebMail," (IKR, that name is SOOOO original) I just need to look my friend up in the school directory and click on his mother's name in order to contact her without calling.
 
I agree that emailing offers advantages over speaking out loud.

Good idea.
 
You know, once my son had a friend that never knew when to quit. I had taken the 2 of them out to eat and his friend grabbed my cigarettes and said he was keeping them. I laughed for a minute then told him, ok, that was enough and to give them back. He continued to laugh and keep them. Few more minutes I told him I wasn't playing any more and it went on and on. So I said I'd be back and I left with them sitting at the table. After about 15 minutes they called asking if I was coming back. I said, I was shopping - had to go get cigarettes and decided to get everything else I needed while I was there. It was probably about 45 minutes that they had to sit there waiting on me and they couldn't leave because the bill had not been paid yet. LOL Needless to say it didn't happen again.
 
I agree that emailing offers advantages over speaking out loud.

Good idea.

That's part of the problem with today's society IMO, nobody communicates face to face, everyone sends everybody else emails.

Nobody sits down and talks to each other.
 
People often describe a thing and then say it's a problem, but I rarely hear anyone explain the problem. They just describe the thing again. It can flipped to say, "That's the good thing about today's society, so many ways to communicate."
 
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