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Aspies and Marriages

My father is on meth. If he even knew I was in town he might go after me with a gun, and I'm not attention-seeking here; he's done it before.
I will not stay with someone who is on meth.

I could stay with my sister; she's been to prison for setting people on fire and also does speed.
Lots of options.
I was thinking of applying for college and going on campus, which would be psychologically horrible for me, but I don't know. Even my mail comes here.
 
Yeah, y'all.
My uncles know (and no, I can not live with them. Nor can I live with my aunt or anyone else. I don't know my family well but what I do know is that they're all unstable or have unstable kids living with them.)

I'm here for now, until something can be figured out. Everyone I trusted is dead.
 
COLLEGE gets my vote 100%. You cannot go immerse yourself in an environment with drug abusers, dangerous ex-cons or other questionable people. How could living in a dorm possibly be worse than daily emotional abuse from a jerk & his hateful relatives? How can that be worse than a father on drugs? Once you get there, there's help available right on campus. Most colleges have all sorts of resources for students with Asperger's learning disabilities or physical & mental ones.

I BET that, in your harrowing & heart-breaking situation, that you'd qualify for all sorts of bursaries & scholarships. What a wonderful way to get yourself away from the mess you're in AND build yourself a bright future! Meanwhile, please do not lose touch with us here & keep us updated. There are a lot of good, caring people here offering great advice & showing genuine concern for you.
 
I don't qualify for any help; I'm a trust fund baby with a long history of dropping out. But I do have the trust to pay for college.

The concern with dorming is that I require excessive alone time. I'm also not the nicest person. But it's been made clear that I will pack my bags and I will leave. I'm applying for Florida online to do criminology; however, if I want, I could go to Florida and live there at the college.
I wish things would stay stable for more than 30 seconds; I'm tired of having to ask like a weirdo, "what were y'all talking about," whenever he comes upstairs from talking to anyone, even his mom. Can't really blame me for being "paranoid" considering all the times my name has come up when I wasn't there to defend myself.
 
Oh Dizzy. I wish there was something that we could do to make things more stable for you. Well what about finding an apartment just for yourself and that way you could do college on your terms. Without having to worry about anyone else but you? I really wish you a lot of luck and you know you have our support. I could try to lend you my magic wand but its a little low on Fairy dust but you can have it if you wants. But seriously good luck. I just wish you happiness.
 
I did have my own apartment; it was taken when I dropped out of college the first time, and is actually how I ended up in New York. So until I do well in schoola few years I won't be given an apartment.
But, I've decided to use my circumstances to my advantage; most people don't have their college and bills paid for, nor do they have my IQ. So I have no good excuse to do poorly in life.
Thanks Arashi =)
 
Dizzy,

Good luck. I just want you to be happy whatever that entails. You are so welcome you deserve a chance to be happy in your life. I hope that you decide what you want to do and take your time...is there away to get you housing without it being an apartment situation? Like a shared house with you having your own room? I wish I could help.. You sure you don't want to borrow my magic wand?
 
It's clear by your writing that you're very intelligent. You can use that, along with your trust fund to move yourself forward & away from all these toxic people who are bringing chaos into your life. Since you are fascinated with serial killers, why not go into criminology or become a profiler?

You can rent a small apartment near the campus you choose so you'll live alone. I agree with doing every class you can online: that way you have your quiet space & privacy where you can set your own classwork schedule. If you focus best at 4 am, then do your work at that time. Go to the best school you can for the programme you're interested in.

All this man is doing for you is eroding your self esteem & eating away at your personal dignity. Don't run away: running away is for kids: make an organized plan of action & LEAVE. Don't bother asking these people what they're saying about you when your back is turned: it probably isn't flattering & you don't need to let them affect your mood & self-worth any more than they already have. Time for you to take back YOU!
 
I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months and we are in love with each other. He is not autistic, and extremely laid back which is why I love him. I do have problems with him being so laid back, because he doesn't see that I need structure and stability. He is the kind of impulsive character who can arrange things five minutes before they happen. I am not that kind of person, and like things to be planned up to 2 weeks before they happen. Arranging dates and such like is difficult because he does not see my need to have that planning and structure. I often end up nagging him. It will be things like "You need to check your train times" or "Can you please ask your parents if it is ok that I stay?". He does not see the urgency and I do. Things often get left till one or two days before they happen with him, but gradually I am learning to trust him because so far everything has been carried out as I would like. He is helping me and I am helping him :love:
 
I haven't decided I'm moving out of here but I will learn the costs of living in case I do.

I am going into criminology; I can get my entire masters from Florida online. I can't rent anything; I can't work, and I won't be able to get financial help for it. So, for now, it's either here or go to the campus.
I also over-plan things; I need to know what I'm wearing for the week, where I'm going (mostly) and I also am pretty rigid about what time of day I do things or in what order. My boyfriend is the same way so there's not much of an issue; he doesn't get anxious when things go differently though.

Right now I'm just irate because my dad emailed me and wants me to tell my therapist to put money in my account because he's an idiot and can't remember that I told him LAST week when he screamed at me, exactly what the amount was for. He's pissing me OFF.
He also said she "cause the problem" with us, and that's crap, because he and his drugs did.
 
HelloDizzy, are you out there? It's been a while since your last post or update & I'm hoping you're okay. In light of your tenuous living arrangements & many health -related challenges, I think of you & your predicament often & wonder if you're okay (or better yet, making progress towards independence).

As for over-planning things (such as a week's worth of outfits) many people would simply call that being exceptionally well organized. By planning these things ahead, you free up brain space to focus on much more pressing matters. Many top business men have their closets organized this way with the suit, shirt, tie, socks, shoes & everything else together. This ensures that they'll look appropriate (meeting outfits in one section, every day suits in another, meeting important client outfits together etc.) I think that skill will come in very handy when you're that successful profiler getting called in on tough cases. I'm not being cutesy here (not my style!) I can actually see you one day achieving this goal. After all you've survived & been through, studying something you love will be a walk in the park!
 
Sorry I haven't been on - I'm ill and depressed.
I'm going back to Louisiana on Thursday to live. I can't stay here without literally harming my boyfriends family. I hate them.

We aren't breaking up, we will figure something out with a job for him, and I'm going to look into certification for physical training.

Any of you who pray, please pray for me.
 
I've been married... 3 times. 1st wife was 5 years. 2nd & 3rd wives are the same person, I divorced, remarried and re-divorce (not recommended BTW)... 16 years from first marriage to last divorce. While I had *some* good moments, I was probably a 5% of the total time spent. The other 95% was fighting, constant break ups and general state of war. I wasn't aware I was an Aspie tho. I had a lot of problems with the "not going out" thing and not knowing when is my "turn to talk". There were so many occasions where I "should have notice" something and I didn't. Partners usually concluded I was ignoring them on purpose.

I guess that when you know what you have it becomes easier.
 
He's not coming with me. He may move down south in a few months - he has interviews lined up.

Wherever he can get a job/apartment is where we'll end up. But these next few months are about me, and my getting myself taken care of.

I'm sad we won't see each other a while, but it could do me good.
 
I want to get in to this discussion. do any of you know of the book the journal of best practices? it is about a relationship/marriage... my wife wants us to get into it and see what they did
 
I've heard of that: they sell a downloadable version on Amazon for Kindle. It's written by a married Aspie guy who was clueless & messy among other things. It may be very useful for you to read simply for the insight it may give you into some of your own Aspie behaviours. My Aspie husband has the neat freak compulsion like me so that works out well. Otherwise, it would be like Star Wars in our home because being married to a slob would drive me barking mad!

It's also a good one to read BEFORE you as an Aspie marry someone or as an NT engaged to someone you know or suspect may be an Aspie.
 
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I just started reading that book by David Finch. It is very insightful. After I finish it I will get my wife to read it.
 
I got my boyfriend to read Aspergirls but he now doubts that I have Aspergers. Different shrinks say different things, too; I have it, I don't, I have it, I don't....
 
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