Are women with kids more attracted to masculine men?

[Shiznown]

This is something I've been wondering for a little while. I've noticed, that women with kids are generally more attracted to me than women without kids.

 

[King_Oni]

I'm not sure if it would be a thing of masculinity as much as it would be a thing of being a bit in shape and physically in good shape. I think the latter would be more appealing for plenty of people.

Considering you've posted about your exercising in another thread; to me that would make more sense.

On the other hand, what defines "masculine"? as opposed to being overall in good shape.

 

[Peace]

I recently heard a show that talked about attraction between males and females. Studies show that females are attracted to males that display risky behavior. This is supposed to be from our primal instincts, that they seek out the strong male that will stand up to threats and protect them and their offspring.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Where are these women and why aren't they crawling all over me?

That's hilarious! For me, risky behavior is not a turn-on at all. It may be interesting in the beginning for a few good times and some laughs, but I'm looking for someone who is more stable and reliable. Of course I would like someone in good health, but also since I'm interested in exercise and nutrition, I would also be attracted to a guy who is into these things as well.

Shiznown, I would think you could meet some single ladies at the gym or possibly find an exercise forum. You probably just need to broaden your horizons in order to have a chance at meeting someone that interests you. Isn't there a saying that "you have to kiss a few frogs in order to get a princess"?

 

[Judge]

LOL...I exist literally based on risky behavior. But somehow I don't see women thinking a finance geek could be one of those "bad boys". But I admit, the ones who were ever attracted to me were themselves a bit on the wild side.

 

[Shiznown]

That's hilarious! For me, risky behavior is not a turn-on at all. It may be interesting in the beginning for a few good times and some laughs, but I'm looking for someone who is more stable and reliable. Of course I would like someone in good health, but also since I'm interested in exercise and nutrition, I would also be attracted to a guy who is into these things as well.

Shiznown, I would think you could meet some single ladies at the gym or possibly find an exercise forum. You probably just need to broaden your horizons in order to have a chance at meeting someone that interests you. Isn't there a saying that "you have to kiss a few frogs in order to get a princess"?

I've been to the gym and it doesn't quite work like that. I used to go to Gold's and the women either workout with their husbands, or they are in the women section. Exercise forums are dominated by males.The area where I live is pretty bad. I do have a chance at college, since I'll be taking multiple fitness classes. I thing really, that is my only avenue to meet anyone at this point.

 

[Ereth]

I recently heard a show that talked about attraction between males and females. Studies show that females are attracted to males that display risky behavior. This is supposed to be from our primal instincts, that they seek out the strong male that will stand up to threats and protect them and their offspring.

Which studies? What defines "risky behavior"?

I'm not giving you grief---it just helps to be as specific as possible.

 

[Peace]

I do not know the source of the studies, it was on Wisconsin public radio about three weeks ago or so. I was driving at the time.
The risky behavior was the daredevil type, not trading risky stocks, or working in a nuclear power plant. You can give me all the greif you want to, I don't have a horse in this race, only trying to add to the conversation.

 

[Atay]

I don't find risk-taking attractive at all; increases the chance if something terrible happening. When I met my husband, I was looking for someone physically risk averse. If I were single with kids, I would mainly just look for someone emotionally and cognitively stable.

 

[Judge]

Good question about what constitutes risky behavior that attracts. I would have to point out that it's not much of an advantage in any relationship if one or both persons are in prison because of such behavior if criminal in nature.

 

[Ereth]

Well, this is exactly why it's better to cite specific studies. I'll have to poke around and see what I can find on this subject, but I'll try to add something for us to look at.

 

[Ste11aeres]

This is something I've been wondering for a little while. I've noticed, that women with kids are generally more attracted to me than women without kids.

Do you like kids? To be more precise, do you like their kids? If the answer is yes, then that would definitely be a turn-on.

 

[Shiznown]

Do you like kids? To be more precise, do you like their kids? If the answer is yes, then that would definitely be a turn-on.

Answering, because I felt like bumping the thread. I don't have any experience with kids, but since I made this thread I've had three women flirt with me all have kids lol. If I really fell for a woman who had a kid, I could learn to deal with it. I don't think I could handle her having more than one. I don't mean "deal with it" as in I wouldn't care for their kid, but that I could grow to be comfortable with the situation. My main concern would be still having time for my bodybuilding, reading and my other interests. It also depends on how old the kid is. Dealing with a five year old is easier than dealing with a baby whos diaper has to be change. I have bad OCD, so that would be a huge issue.

 

[rollerskate]

Based on my observations, women often confuse masculinity with maturity.

And it could be just wanting that masculine/feminine balance for their kid's benefit. If they feel they are very feminine, they may see the gap that creates for their children.

And Shiz... five year olds are actually way more time consuming than a baby. Six year olds are even more atrocious. Babies are easy because they sleep a lot and when they're awake they mostly just want to be cuddled. Toddlers are even easy in a sense because you can always sit them down in front of some toys and they're good to go. 5-6 year olds though will talk to you until your ears bleed, and make extra sure to say your name repeatedly every few minutes until you answer JUST to ensure you're listening and haven't drifted off or started focusing on something else, LOL. At five it's mostly impossible to answer questions, at six it's telling you their vast stores of knowledge and ideas. And the messes... and fighting you about picking up their toys... the sloppiness... yeah, I have OCD too, and my six year old drives me INSANE a LOT. I have learned to live on Valerian Root just to keep my nerves from going raw, LOL. Oh, and ear plugs... God bless ear plugs... LOL.

Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces, and he is a great kid that I take great pride and joy in. He's just very hard on me, more so than he ever was as a baby. And I have a three month old also to compare with. The three month, never a problem. It's always big brother that is stirring the pot, LOL.

 

[Shiznown]

Based on my observations, women often confuse masculinity with maturity.

And it could be just wanting that masculine/feminine balance for their kid's benefit. If they feel they are very feminine, they may see the gap that creates for their children.

And Shiz... five year olds are actually way more time consuming than a baby. Six year olds are even more atrocious. Babies are easy because they sleep a lot and when they're awake they mostly just want to be cuddled. Toddlers are even easy in a sense because you can always sit them down in front of some toys and they're good to go. 5-6 year olds though will talk to you until your ears bleed, and make extra sure to say your name repeatedly every few minutes until you answer JUST to ensure you're listening and haven't drifted off or started focusing on something else, LOL. At five it's mostly impossible to answer questions, at six it's telling you their vast stores of knowledge and ideas. And the messes... and fighting you about picking up their toys... the sloppiness... yeah, I have OCD too, and my six year old drives me INSANE a LOT. I have learned to live on Valerian Root just to keep my nerves from going raw, LOL. Oh, and ear plugs... God bless ear plugs... LOL.

Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces, and he is a great kid that I take great pride and joy in. He's just very hard on me, more so than he ever was as a baby. And I have a three month old also to compare with. The three month, never a problem. It's always big brother that is stirring the pot, LOL.

Ah, yeah see I don't think I'd be good at being a dad. Well I think I would, but it would be very draining.

 

[Scorpiogirl]

Def draining. I'm a single aspie mum with 2 aspie girls. It's crazy

 

[Ste11aeres]

[QUOTE="Shiznown, post: 141074, member: 11087"Dealing with a five year old is easier than dealing with a baby whos diaper has to be change. I have bad OCD, so that would be a huge issue.[/QUOTE]
As someone who's been both a preschool teacher and an Infant Caregiver, I agree with Rollerskate that babies are actually far easier than older kids.
It's teenagers that I'd really be nervous about (even if they were my own!)

 

[AsheSkyler]

Toddlers are even easy in a sense because you can always sit them down in front of some toys and they're good to go.

Then they throw their toys at you ten minutes later and run away laughing maniacally as you try to get the spots before your eyes to fade.

I really don't get why they say babies make college studies difficult. They don't. Going to college and studying with a baby is easy. Let them snuggle up, maybe have something to eat, and you have a nice little lap warmer while you do what you gotta do, and the gentle rocking made it a bit easier for me to concentrate too. Toddlers however will fidget, poke, prod, grab at your pencils and erasers, grab the book, do like a cat and get exactly between you and your work to see what you're doing, and that's not counting the noise factor. And the thing that scares me most is that everybody brags on how good mine is. I am neeeeever volunteering to babysit ANYBODY'S kids!

 

[icesyckel]

I don't believe most people are attracted to what they will admit to being attracted to, so I don't actually think open discussion on this subject works for some reason.

In college I met many feminists who professed during various academic discussions to "hate" when men would open/hold doors, pay for dinner, etc. However, those same women would then date the old-fashioned "masculine" types who routinely held doors, paid for dinner, etc.

Conversely, I know lots of guys who claim out loud to find short hair attractive. I just never observed those same guys to ever date women with short hair. Sure, there are exceptions, and some got married or committed and then the hair got cut off after the fact, and they stuck it out, but... Same thing with guys and makeup too - many say they don't like it, but most date girls who wear it. Sure, it could be that the makeup wasn't a deal breaker, but I think subconsciously many guys who claim to hate makeup on women appreciate the effort that goes into makeup and the results it brings.

Those are just examples from my experience and not selected to be comprehensive or perfect representative of anything.

My point is that, in this area, people don't like to be honest - whether with themselves or others, I am not sure. You just see lots of people chasing after people exhibiting qualities that they profess to find unattractive. I think it's partly that people crave certain things subconsciously that don't reconcile with their conscious, civilized minds.

I also suspect this is more of an NT thing, since people on the spectrum (gross generalization incoming) TEND to be more open, straightforward, and analytical, generally. I am not ashamed of what attracts me.

 

[apsie]

One of the going theories (if you can call it that) is that in general,
woman seem to like masculine men more when they're ready for having children,
and once they do have children, they go for softer, more caring men.

It seems plausible to me.
When you want to make a child, you look for good genes. Men that are strong, or seem strong would provide such genes.
Once the child is born, a strong macho man is not as interesting anymore compared to a caring, loving father. (not to say physically strong men arn't good fathers)