I am now choosing to live for myself and my own validation. Forget those other fools who raised me to be a spineless weakling. I am building a spine made of mithril at this point.
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I feel like I am a worthless fat piggy, and that I will never be worth anything until I lose my disgusting fat piggy belly. I probably should not eat for a few months - I have enough calories in my beer belly to support me for that long.
I feel like going to the gym twice daily while keeping my caloric intake around 1K a day. I hate being so fat that my mother and stepfather chastise me and outright insult me about it every time they see me - the weight I lost so far means nothing to them.
When my tax refund check arrives and I save up some cash, I will be on my way far away from here.
A part of me still wishes I worked a simple machine job with great pay and benefits like I used to. It is a shame the homophobia there drove me away. I was pretty damn good at that job.
I am going out for pizza by myself in several hours from now. Local place has all day happy hour on Sundays with $10 small pizzas.
If I had a dollar for every time somebody tried to explain to me that my mother deserves my allegiance just because of the blood ties, I would be swimming in gold coins right now.
My spirit used to be full of self pity. Now it is overflowing with righteous anger. I am a miasma of spiritual rage. The band Deicide speaks my opinions on God right now.
I want a bottle of bourbon and some indica gummies. And the ability to teleport my house to the other side of the country by pushing a button on a one way only trip. Seriously, some people I know here really suck, and not in that fun way.
Anybody want to have leftover turkey with me right now? With mashed garlic red potatoes and baked Brussels sprouts?
I feel tempted to buy myself a bottle of high quality bourbon, so I decided to talk about it here instead of actually doing it. Heh.
At my general practitioner’s office, waiting to be seen. Going to talk about my health issues.
There should be a law requiring people to take a regular shower if they use public transit.
My brain feels foggy today. I feel like it needs something to kickstart it. Not a beer or a hit of weed. Maybe some protein and complex carbs will help. That, and a nap.
I am looking forward to a 4 day weekend all to myself. Lots of gaming and movies, with the occasional trip to the gym, and I will cook Thanksgiving dinner for myself. A turkey leg, mashed red potatoes, and steamed asparagus.
I feel like buying a can of Monster, but all that caffeine won't be good for me.
This is what I will watch tonight.
I had a seizure earlier today, now I am back home in a miasma of rage.
I hate that it gets dark outside so early this time of year.
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