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Markness

Markness

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  • Markness
    I am both hungry and depressed. I get flack for both feelings. :(
    View previous comments…
    tree
    tree
    @Markness
    Your family teases or berates you for being hungry?
    Because of your weight?

    And of course they've been waiting for you to *snap out of being depressed*
    for years now, right?
    Markness
    Markness
    @Luca They don’t. My mother will just give me flack for having individual preferences.
    Markness
    Markness
    @tree My mother and stepfather berate me. They and my siblings get frustrated with me for being depressed.
    Markness
    I know that not practicing drawing and the guitar will not make me better at those things but on the same token, I don’t even attempt to practice either activity these days. :(
    tree
    tree
    Sounds like there's more to that story.
    I don't think it goes *so that's really working, employing wishful thinking. I'm getting better at art and music through inertia.
    And I feel great about myself, too.*
    L
    Luca
    You don’t feel better about skills until you try :)
    Misery
    Misery
    They will make you better though? That's the whole point of practice. But you have to ACTUALLY practice. Not sit there with a guitar poking it and saying to yourself "I cant do this" over and over again.
    Markness
    Why do others not want me to be in a romantic relationship?
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    I would also like to know that. It doesn't make sense. I hope you find what you are looking for.
    tree
    tree
    @Markness
    I don't know.
    What do these 'others' say?
    What are their reasons?

    And why do these others and their reasons matter to you?
    Masked Man
    Masked Man
    I'm sorry I don't understand this post. Explain?
    Markness
    Apparently it’s my fault I got physically and mentally abused in my developmental years.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    What made this apparent to you?
    tree
    tree
    Masked Man
    Masked Man
    It isn't your fault you were treated poorly. It IS however your fault if you continue to use it as a crutch.
    Markness
    I am 35 now but I still don’t have a girlfriend and don’t even date. Why hasn’t my life changed in this regard? :(
    View previous comments…
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    That has not changed because you have not changed. From my perspective and experiences, life is all about managing change.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    @elgat0verde and @Luca raise important points. From your wailing it is obvious that you are outer directed, expecting others to validate you. You will NOT make progress until you strengthen your sense of self and become inner directed. The thing we can control is how we respond to life. I have not seen that you can control your responses.
    Masked Man
    Masked Man
    Your life has not changed because you have not demonstrated that you can care for yourself independently, both financially and emotionally.
    Markness
    Apparently you can get Microsoft Word without having to pay for it again but wherever I look, I always see a pay wall. I wish I had it back.
    Markness
    I might take a Speech course this Fall.
    tree
    tree
    Couple guys I know did well in Speech.
    There was a script to follow.
    Didn't have to rely on spontaneous thoughts
    to succeed.
    tree
    tree
    One of the guys was asd with adhd and the other stuttered.
    Markness
    My debit card got hacked. :(
    View previous comments…
    oregano
    oregano
    I NEVER use a debit card nowadays, EVER! USA laws are more lenient when it comes to bank accounts vs credit cards. That means that the crooks drain your bank account to zero, and a lot of times the bank simply refuses to help. They'll claim that you authorized the transactions, so they tell you to go fish. A lot of times the only way it gets resolved is by victims whining to a local TV station.
    oregano
    oregano
    I had my credit card stolen a couple years ago after using a pump at a ghetto gas station in Stockton. The pumps were old and somebody had put skimmers in them. American Express notified me and mailed me a new card within a couple weeks.
    oregano
    oregano
    Turns out that a branch of the Russian Mob had been hiding skimmers in older model gas pumps along US 99 between Stockton and Modesto. The news said that one woman who had used a debit card was left with only $2 to her name. As for me, the only fraud charge was $125 at a gas station in Las Vegas. The card company's fraud software flagged it and they called me.
    Markness
    I had a dream that went through different “plots” and one could’ve ended happily for me but then I woke up. :(
    Markness
    I saw a guy get out a car and an attractive glasses wearing lady was in the driver’s seat. I felt defeated. :(
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    I still can’t achieve that special sort of bond with someone.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Then you need to check your assumptions about people, your expectations and actions. I think your expectations are ruining your chances for success. Step back, enjoy people where they are at, and throttle your expectations.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I don't know who you hang out with but many people I encounter are caring and not detractors.
    Markness
    I finished building a Gunpla only to unintentionally break its arm some hours later. :(
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Dang it. Maybe you can play surgeon and make repairs.
    Markness
    Markness
    I used two different types of glue to see if they would solve the problem but the model doesn’t like glue.
    Markness
    *dry heave* I can’t stand the sight of frozen meat. It looks like roadkill.
    tree
    tree
    What about cooked animal flesh?

    I thought you ate that.
    Markness
    Markness
    @tree I do eat cooked meat. The sight of meat in the freezer section at grocery stores just makes me feel ill.
    tree
    tree
    Carcasses. Sections of skinned animal bodies on display.

    I'm not fond of it, myself.
    Markness
    I wanted to pick back up story writing but the dreaded writer’s block came back. :(
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I think you have to write a little everyday, that really helps. Just look at the news, then spin a story from that.
    tree
    tree
    Being methodical about it does help.
    Not thinking you must wait for 'inspiration'
    or a full fledged plot to emerge.

    Just writing.
    Markness
    Being single is not “cool” or “sweet.” In my case, it’s gotten me considered to be “weird” and even a potential serial killer in waiting. Is it any wonder why I am clinically depressed?
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    @tree It’s not the sole reason, just one of the biggest factors.
    Markness
    Markness
    @Luca I was indeed mistreated in addition to feeling inferior and wondering why I didn’t measure up to others. I also had propaganda like Left Behind and weird conspiracy theory nonsense read to me.
    tree
    tree
    @Markness
    Knowing as you do that some of your present feelings are
    based on events of the past is a good reason to come to
    an understanding that what's in the past is in the past,
    and stop hauling it forward with you.
    Markness
    I take setbacks hard because I don’t often get second chances and the few times I do often take years to come.
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    @Rodafina Don’t you think I’ve made attempts?
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    @Markness
    Based on your question, it sounds like you have. Perhaps instead of finding second chances, we must create new chances. Cultivate agency.
    tree
    tree
    @Markness
    How about trying the revolutionary step of not telling yourself
    that anything less than perfection is utter failure?
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