"Suffering" from Asperger's

I see it sort of the way you do but not quite. I see myself more in terms of 'I am an Aspie' rather than I 'have' something. That seems to imply that I can get rid of or lose or cure what I've got. I don't need to cure this any more than a person who IS Korean 'has' a case of Korean & needs to be treated or 'de-Koreanized' in order to render some non-Korean more comfortable.

I see myself as sometimes suffering over-exposure to Chronic Neurotypical Syndrome sufferers & the dysfunctional & unhealthy societies & cultures they've created. I am not making anyone suffer since I am not an aggressive, demanding, violent or offensive person: I'm just wired differently. I've thought about this a lot & I don't think that the Aspie is always (or even usually) in the wrong. Culturally, NTs value heavy almost constant socializing. Aspie culture tends to de-emphasize this. Who is wrong? Neither of us. It only becomes problematic when one tries to impose his values upon the other & label as pathological those who have different values & priorities.

When it comes down to it, I also see myself as "being an Aspie" rather than "having Asperger's", but if I have to express it to someone, I find the word "Aspie" to be too jargon-y for use in conversation with most people. In most of these situations, I'm only invoking the Asperger's label for pragmatic purposes, usually to explain why I can't participate in something the way they expect me to, and I'd rather use a word that won't require me having to go into deeper detail. And "I have" is just shorter, even if it's wrong! I consider it one of those linguistic compromises I have to make in order to communicate with people, a white lie. I agree that it in writing it as I did here, it implies a "thing you have".

I agree with your take on the values placed on socializing as well, that neither value is wrong. I guess I feel I've suffered because it hurts me when I've hurt someone else. I don't like rejecting people, but I find I have to do it. I can see that they are not being unreasonable, and I know that I'm doing what's right for me, but the dynamic is still often that someone wants me to pay them some attention and I just don't have it in me to give. (There's that word "have" again!)

I can also be demanding and/or offensive at times, especially when I take something seriously, so I need to watch that, too. My emotions get quite intense, as well, but now I see moods as a wave, and there are just peaks and troughs rather than elation and suffering, and every point in the wave has its own meaning and purpose. (Maybe that whole idea of "suffering" needs to be evolved away!) Knowing this, I'm trying to figure out how to avoid letting my moods affect how I interact with people.

I don't suffer from Asperger's, I suffer from Neurotypicals. That's a good one.

A speaker I once heard said that maybe a better expression would be "experiences" rather than "suffering from". To say someone suffers from something just because they have a condition demeans real suffering. To say that someone suffers from something is to place a label on that person and put them at a safe distance where they can be an object of pity rather than someone you really get to know.

I think I finally found the words I like--"I was BORN WITH Asperger's".

As in, "I was born with Asperger's, and that's part of why I'm so nitpicky about words." Or, "I was born with Asperger's, so small talk is usually a chore for me."