One difference I've noticed in how neurotypicals write about Asperger's compared to how Aspies write about it--I've not yet come across an Aspie describing themself as not having a "theory of mind".
I have a different take on it than what the psychologists say. I don't think humans come equipped with a "theory of mind", per se. Those who are able to grasp the perspectives of those different from them do so because they become exposed to other perspectives and learn from the experience--if they are open to them.
I think this applies to Aspies and NTs alike. Some people are more able to be open and to evolve--Aspies and NTs alike. It's just harder for Aspies, and here's why.
I take my explanation for what I see here from Genesis 1. The overarching theme of Genesis 1, the whole "seven days" business, is a rundown of the fundamentals of existence, the stuff about the world that is cyclical, eternal, and basic about humans and their world. The story of Creation is the story of when our minds started using stories to make sense of things, and these are the original stories. (Genesis 2 is where people started making up stories and got lost in the great mist.)
Which brings me to this passage--"God created Man in his own image." In this context, it means that a person can look at another person and know that person is someone who is human like him or her.
Aspies don't have this luxury. Aspies, in order to get along, have to assume that NO ONE is like them and they are like no one else (unless they get lucky).
The NT "theory of mind" is little more than the knowledge that your fellow NT is accurately readable based on surface indicators of how that person fits into their culture. It's little more than the ability to read someone's age, attractiveness, clothing, voice and presence, and know pretty much exactly what you're getting.
NTs are generally able to correctly assume that a fellow NT is doing things because it is expected of them to do so (and not by anyone in particular, usually). When this type of NT encounters anyone who doesn't fit the script in a way that works for them--Aspie or not--they don't get it!
My experience of this--if I am able to detect that an NT is does things in his/her life because "it's what you do", that's a turn-off to me. As an Aspie, I would have to do an insane amount of research to be able to understand that person's perspective enough to be able to converse with them on their level. I'm too busy trying to be exceptional to care about what it's like to try to be the rule. Give me NTs who can open up and be honest, and I'll gladly converse with them.
What's more evolved? Being a sovereign individual, or a puppet of the culture?
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