So... I went to see my therapist today as she told me she'd have results in by january 18th.
I had no idea what to expect... well, to me it could be anything. I kinda expected her to pull the PDD-NOS thing on me. It always felt kinda "easy" to put such a label on someone.
Anyway; the official diagnosis came down to having ADHD and being on the spectrum... both, by far... I almost scored perfect 10's on said tests, and even the sessions with my mom the therapist requested to see how I was as a kid, those were pretty obvious.
For the record, for ADHD there's 9 points on which they'll test you. And obviously with all kinds of questions, they look for consistency among those 9 points. In both the tests I did, and the sessions with my mom I had either 8 or 9 out of 9.
As for autism, she found it quite significant that I was way ahead with some stuff as a 2 year old, talk way earlier than is "normal" my age, walked way earlier. I did have a problem in recognizing emotion and facial cues, as a kid, and also recently when she had shown me pictures and asked me to name expressions. I felt weird and stupid for not having a clue what face goes with which word. And there's bigger list of stuff that was tested. But to her it pointed more to Asperger's than to any other form of autism. Thus that was her DX.
Now; what about the future? Within the same therapist's office I went to I could have therapy, I could have meds and/or eventually have someone talk and look into means of employment.
I told her I'd think about options for a week.
Yet... I think I can already forget therapy. I talked to her about it. And she kinda told me "yeah, I think you're right on that one". Because for what it's worth, I can handle myself, I don't have any anxiety (or any personality disorders for what it's worth), it's the world that apparently can't handle me. So I don't think it's time well spent to put someone in therapy so he can accept people think he's "weird". Let's look at it like this, I can have therapy all I want, but at the end of the road, if I need to find a job, and my job is totally not "cooperating" in means of why I had therapy, where does that bring me? Totally nowhere... I'll probably end up getting fired because I'm still "the weird one". She also noted that due to personal interests, preferences, and for a big part dealing with being the outcast pretty much all my life, my slate is full. Therapy works for people who don't have any clue, people who are kinda "blank". Likely I'd end up depressed only trying to fit within the expectations of therapy. And that's totally not the principle of therapy.
Meds; that might be an option, I might look into that, if only so am less distracted and be more focused in doing the stuff I'm already doing for myself. But I still have to talk to a psychiatrist about it. I don't want any meds I have to be hooked on forever and give me side effects that bother me. So if I'd opt meds, I really have to specify what I would like and wouldn't like... but I'm quite sure a psychiatrist would understand.
The employment deal; let's face it... I'm all for working (and on top earning more money than I am now), but in a way I can't really see that going on. Sure, the office there can look into things that work for me, but if I look into a small list of things that stress me out enough not to function for the full 100%, it's a tough list, especially if those are the standards you're applying with to get a job somewhere. Not having a degree of any sorts, but clearly not being "stupid" doesn't help. That being said, I might look into it, even if it's to have a list conjured up on "conditions" that work for me, and take that to a job agency. Afterall, as long as I'm receiving unemployment benefits I'm actually obliged to look for jobs, now with a DX of sorts, I can work the system a bit in stating "I can't work just about everywhere without being a hazard to myself and others", and having a written thing that states under what conditions I'm NOT a hazard. That to me makes sense.
So... there's that for now. At least I don't feel that awkward being on this board because apparently I fit right in.
I had no idea what to expect... well, to me it could be anything. I kinda expected her to pull the PDD-NOS thing on me. It always felt kinda "easy" to put such a label on someone.
Anyway; the official diagnosis came down to having ADHD and being on the spectrum... both, by far... I almost scored perfect 10's on said tests, and even the sessions with my mom the therapist requested to see how I was as a kid, those were pretty obvious.
For the record, for ADHD there's 9 points on which they'll test you. And obviously with all kinds of questions, they look for consistency among those 9 points. In both the tests I did, and the sessions with my mom I had either 8 or 9 out of 9.
As for autism, she found it quite significant that I was way ahead with some stuff as a 2 year old, talk way earlier than is "normal" my age, walked way earlier. I did have a problem in recognizing emotion and facial cues, as a kid, and also recently when she had shown me pictures and asked me to name expressions. I felt weird and stupid for not having a clue what face goes with which word. And there's bigger list of stuff that was tested. But to her it pointed more to Asperger's than to any other form of autism. Thus that was her DX.
Now; what about the future? Within the same therapist's office I went to I could have therapy, I could have meds and/or eventually have someone talk and look into means of employment.
I told her I'd think about options for a week.
Yet... I think I can already forget therapy. I talked to her about it. And she kinda told me "yeah, I think you're right on that one". Because for what it's worth, I can handle myself, I don't have any anxiety (or any personality disorders for what it's worth), it's the world that apparently can't handle me. So I don't think it's time well spent to put someone in therapy so he can accept people think he's "weird". Let's look at it like this, I can have therapy all I want, but at the end of the road, if I need to find a job, and my job is totally not "cooperating" in means of why I had therapy, where does that bring me? Totally nowhere... I'll probably end up getting fired because I'm still "the weird one". She also noted that due to personal interests, preferences, and for a big part dealing with being the outcast pretty much all my life, my slate is full. Therapy works for people who don't have any clue, people who are kinda "blank". Likely I'd end up depressed only trying to fit within the expectations of therapy. And that's totally not the principle of therapy.
Meds; that might be an option, I might look into that, if only so am less distracted and be more focused in doing the stuff I'm already doing for myself. But I still have to talk to a psychiatrist about it. I don't want any meds I have to be hooked on forever and give me side effects that bother me. So if I'd opt meds, I really have to specify what I would like and wouldn't like... but I'm quite sure a psychiatrist would understand.
The employment deal; let's face it... I'm all for working (and on top earning more money than I am now), but in a way I can't really see that going on. Sure, the office there can look into things that work for me, but if I look into a small list of things that stress me out enough not to function for the full 100%, it's a tough list, especially if those are the standards you're applying with to get a job somewhere. Not having a degree of any sorts, but clearly not being "stupid" doesn't help. That being said, I might look into it, even if it's to have a list conjured up on "conditions" that work for me, and take that to a job agency. Afterall, as long as I'm receiving unemployment benefits I'm actually obliged to look for jobs, now with a DX of sorts, I can work the system a bit in stating "I can't work just about everywhere without being a hazard to myself and others", and having a written thing that states under what conditions I'm NOT a hazard. That to me makes sense.
So... there's that for now. At least I don't feel that awkward being on this board because apparently I fit right in.
