I've had very uneventful days as of late which is a good thing in a way
It means less stress and less bad situations for my already screwed up brain
Thinking about some stuff, thinking real hard
Saw a Cenzontle outside my window eating a berry!
It was super cute and super nice
Emotionally I've been stable as of late, very calm and pensive
Have had a few situations that have made me sad but, by now, I'm growing used to my brain trying to make miserable
What else can it do but what I taught it to do for the last 27 years? To be sad, to have bad thoughts to think the worst situations are real (when they're not)
I trained my brain like this and I am also working on taking better control
On the food situation, it's still bad...
But well... What can one do but eat leftovers?
Kinda sucks...
But I know why my mom is doing this, she thinks that if she mistreats me and is like this to me I will stop being a demigal but no
If MY happiness means cutting ties with my whole family so be it
I refuse to let go of this faint happiness, as little as it may be, just to make other people happy
I did it all my life and it only brought me misery
Can't say it doesn't hurt me, it does
She was the only person I thought would accept me and turned out she was the most intolerable and hateful one
But I'm first, MY happiness is first
I really want to be a better person, I really want to learn to love myself how I am and I really want to heal my wounds
Tough to do when you see the people who hurt you daily tho...
Maybe I'll buy a lottery ticket and see if I get lucky
It means less stress and less bad situations for my already screwed up brain
Thinking about some stuff, thinking real hard
Saw a Cenzontle outside my window eating a berry!
It was super cute and super nice
Emotionally I've been stable as of late, very calm and pensive
Have had a few situations that have made me sad but, by now, I'm growing used to my brain trying to make miserable
What else can it do but what I taught it to do for the last 27 years? To be sad, to have bad thoughts to think the worst situations are real (when they're not)
I trained my brain like this and I am also working on taking better control
On the food situation, it's still bad...
But well... What can one do but eat leftovers?
Kinda sucks...
But I know why my mom is doing this, she thinks that if she mistreats me and is like this to me I will stop being a demigal but no
If MY happiness means cutting ties with my whole family so be it
I refuse to let go of this faint happiness, as little as it may be, just to make other people happy
I did it all my life and it only brought me misery
Can't say it doesn't hurt me, it does
She was the only person I thought would accept me and turned out she was the most intolerable and hateful one
But I'm first, MY happiness is first
I really want to be a better person, I really want to learn to love myself how I am and I really want to heal my wounds
Tough to do when you see the people who hurt you daily tho...
Maybe I'll buy a lottery ticket and see if I get lucky
