Feeling some kinda way

I miss my old best friend still. I feel like i am losing part of my youth, my old self day by day. I have another friend from those days that i still talk to thankfully. But this friend was special.

I am Just living without a purpose, getting away from the things that made life magical day by day. I hope i am at least helping someone by working. Otherwise i am even forgetting the person who made my hard days bearable. I wished that i could remember him even when i am dying. I don't know if it will happen, but i still wish it. At least i can still be a stable person while being autistic.