i still have an amazing/unwitting ability to kill conversations -- in forums, in rooms, in text groups, chatrooms, anywhere i go.
sometimes i do this before the conversation has even started. on a popular messaging app, where there were various conversations going on in one thread, i decided to say hello, and contribute to the conversation .... and everything just died. (((crickets)))
my other special talent in conversations is that i have the ability to be "stepped over" or "stepped around" in conversations -- meaning i'll contribute to a conversation, ON-TOPIC I might add, and either it is completely ignored, or someone will respond with something akin to "yeah, okay, whatever, cool story bro" and keep going. or people just start talking over me as though i weren't there, or was not speaking.
these recurring experiences lead to me to conclude -- why keep trying to socialize or interact with people? I do attempt, and i keep my comments on-topic, polite, and appropriate to the conversations. they are not private conversations. sometimes they are group discussions in class that i am supposed to be participating in. same result each time.
then people wonder why i don't talk, and sometimes it is completely impossible for me to interact with people.
When i ask people if i am speaking inappropriately, nor suggest that maybe i should not participate, i am met with the usual advice, "why? just be yourself!" being myself ends up with me being alone and with no friends -- which is the same result as me just doing my own thing with far less humiliation and feeling like a freak. except that i'm too normal for the deliberately freakish.
treat a person like they don't exist, like they are a freak, like they don't matter, like they are invisible -- often enough -- what do you think will happen? in my case, i'm going to just go my own way, and not try to fit in anymore. it hasn't gotten me anywhere but frustrated, and i prefer my own interests to being with people who think they're too cool to hang out with me.
sometimes i do this before the conversation has even started. on a popular messaging app, where there were various conversations going on in one thread, i decided to say hello, and contribute to the conversation .... and everything just died. (((crickets)))
my other special talent in conversations is that i have the ability to be "stepped over" or "stepped around" in conversations -- meaning i'll contribute to a conversation, ON-TOPIC I might add, and either it is completely ignored, or someone will respond with something akin to "yeah, okay, whatever, cool story bro" and keep going. or people just start talking over me as though i weren't there, or was not speaking.
these recurring experiences lead to me to conclude -- why keep trying to socialize or interact with people? I do attempt, and i keep my comments on-topic, polite, and appropriate to the conversations. they are not private conversations. sometimes they are group discussions in class that i am supposed to be participating in. same result each time.
then people wonder why i don't talk, and sometimes it is completely impossible for me to interact with people.
When i ask people if i am speaking inappropriately, nor suggest that maybe i should not participate, i am met with the usual advice, "why? just be yourself!" being myself ends up with me being alone and with no friends -- which is the same result as me just doing my own thing with far less humiliation and feeling like a freak. except that i'm too normal for the deliberately freakish.
treat a person like they don't exist, like they are a freak, like they don't matter, like they are invisible -- often enough -- what do you think will happen? in my case, i'm going to just go my own way, and not try to fit in anymore. it hasn't gotten me anywhere but frustrated, and i prefer my own interests to being with people who think they're too cool to hang out with me.