I could start a rant... in a thread. I believe I ranted enough today. Not on the board though. I don't have intention to mess up the entire board... but, I ranted today against;
My former therapist.
Last week I went there, and he pretty much, among other therapists, told me "sorry man, I can't help you... you're to messed up" Well, not those words, but yeah... something like that. So, why did I rant today? Well, because I saw he sent me an email a few days ago (different mailbox), with his final findings.
I don't care to share some personal matters here. After all... we're here and have a lot of personal problems going on.
Anyhow... one of his findings was; He (I) might have an internet addiction.
To which I thought... "how did he figure?" There is no evidence in the entire report to my GP that says "he's online all day and refuses to talk to other (real) people". I did tell him that I have great interest in reading up on my interests, watch a lot of movies, and listen to and sometimes analyze music. There's more to me, than those, but from those points, he decided "he might be addicted".
Now, my current therapist is somewhat in his late 50's, early 60's I think. First all, I informed the guy, that nowadays everything goes online. It's not even as a rant against him, it's a perception I make. It sounds like I'm addicted in using a tool of the 21st century. Because, if you download something, you're on the internet (Hi Purists!). And being the person that I am I want new music (be it legal, illegal, whatever) I'm more suited to find it online, then in the single record store in my area. The same goes for movies... I might get it off netflix, youtube or some kind of quirky download thing, I'm still online. Last time I went to the rental place, I saw nothing of my interest (besides, non-downloadable icecream), while I can find more than enough online. And to boot, I'm not really interested in all mainstream stuff, so it's harder to come by. And the "obscure" store, we had in the 90's, is no more.
So, the internet is obviously a tool to gather information, to which I think... "so, I am addicted to gathering information". If being addicted to "learning" is so bad, close the school already... or is that justified because it serves "purpose"? Of course, the counter would be "but you can't apparently function without being online". Point taken, up to where I state... "I don't have cable tv, I choose not to, because I have the web. I don't have a radio, why? Because I have the web." And stating that it's then being "dependant" on a single thing, rather than the variety of things, is just not adding something to the discussion of addiction. I don't think that "blaming" me, for digging a hole to which I fell into is my own doing... I've had a taste for off-beat, or at least, non-mainstream stuff, as a kid, when I hit puberty I bought loads of cd's of the most obscure bands (mostly imported even), imported tapes, later dvd's, had a lot of problems with my clothingchoice and all that. So I rather believe that it's merely consequence of "the real world" not being able to handle so. And I do believe, that there's a lot of people like this. I might also think, that some people have a similar taste, but hate the hassle of getting everything through obscure places, rather then just enter something like wal-mart (or any other kinda store in your area) and just settle with something everyone can have.
Further down the line the sir spoke of; you might have a narcissic personality disorder (possibly linked with ASD), to which I fired up wikipedia... (oh look, more fuel to the fire, but seriously... a. who carries a encyclopedia around the house... you know one made out of paper and b. wikipedia, britannica, any digital reference, is way more efficient, then browsing through pages of paper. Ctrl+F wins it over a end-of-book-register anyday) NPD states a lot of stuff to which I might say "yeah, this could apply" I do have a serious list of counter arguments, because practically anything the DSM states, is something that can be put on anyone, if you dig deep enough. But it left me to wonder, that if the guy just asked what my interests were, and asked what I liked about them, he might have a better insight. Also, on the entire NPD thing, and I'm actually giving him credit for seeing it NPD as an option. I doubt that he didn't realize, that for people with NPD, the internet is a good tool to be more manageable in real life. Obviously, NPD's like to hang around with likeminded people... yay forums! They like to be appreciated, yay blog! (oh sh....) and then some more. It is also said that people with said disorder, lack some empathy and emotion (or a lot)... I thought about it for a moment. It's not that I lack empathy, I just find most emotions a totally unneccesary reaction. As I find a lot of stuff, some people will find "fine". I remember, that a few months ago, some guy drove by in a car, having his window open and just screaming something to me. I did not know him and I did not understand his need to express himself in a verbal way where I would be the recipient of his communication. Thus in the end rendering his action, his purpose on doing it like that, totally zero. It has no purpose, just like waving to people to me has no purpose, except when it is to wave someone over.
But yeah... so he blames the internet... and that's coming from a guy who hasn't heard a lot of phrases I've coined during sessions, which I am aware someone, who spends more then just sending email for business, would have heard about, if he would spend some time online. Heck... it's not even that I threw around online exclusive stuff.
I told him that there's more then just books. There's cause and effect on why people do what they do, and not everything has to do with personal trauma. Also, the fact that there is a thing such as "an internetaddiction" is something called into existence, to put people in therapy for as means of a 21st century disorder. While in fact, it's just means of getting information more effectively. Before the internet, people were addicted to "computers". Because they'd spend time on a computer doing nothing "socially purposeful".
The worst thing actually is, while this guy thinks I'm hooked on the internet, little did he know, that a few years ago, I'd spend up to 16 hours a day, painting toy soldiers and not caring about my email and whatnot. That hobby got expensive, I had problems with my breathing due to high exposure of paint (cause I had to paint in my bedroom) and I lost interest all together.
But yeah... I'm waiting for his reply now (but it's 3 am, I doubt he's sending one now), but I'll get one in the next few days. And after that, I might call in to see if I can get some kind of testing and diagnosis on this deal.
My former therapist.
Last week I went there, and he pretty much, among other therapists, told me "sorry man, I can't help you... you're to messed up" Well, not those words, but yeah... something like that. So, why did I rant today? Well, because I saw he sent me an email a few days ago (different mailbox), with his final findings.
I don't care to share some personal matters here. After all... we're here and have a lot of personal problems going on.
Anyhow... one of his findings was; He (I) might have an internet addiction.
To which I thought... "how did he figure?" There is no evidence in the entire report to my GP that says "he's online all day and refuses to talk to other (real) people". I did tell him that I have great interest in reading up on my interests, watch a lot of movies, and listen to and sometimes analyze music. There's more to me, than those, but from those points, he decided "he might be addicted".
Now, my current therapist is somewhat in his late 50's, early 60's I think. First all, I informed the guy, that nowadays everything goes online. It's not even as a rant against him, it's a perception I make. It sounds like I'm addicted in using a tool of the 21st century. Because, if you download something, you're on the internet (Hi Purists!). And being the person that I am I want new music (be it legal, illegal, whatever) I'm more suited to find it online, then in the single record store in my area. The same goes for movies... I might get it off netflix, youtube or some kind of quirky download thing, I'm still online. Last time I went to the rental place, I saw nothing of my interest (besides, non-downloadable icecream), while I can find more than enough online. And to boot, I'm not really interested in all mainstream stuff, so it's harder to come by. And the "obscure" store, we had in the 90's, is no more.
So, the internet is obviously a tool to gather information, to which I think... "so, I am addicted to gathering information". If being addicted to "learning" is so bad, close the school already... or is that justified because it serves "purpose"? Of course, the counter would be "but you can't apparently function without being online". Point taken, up to where I state... "I don't have cable tv, I choose not to, because I have the web. I don't have a radio, why? Because I have the web." And stating that it's then being "dependant" on a single thing, rather than the variety of things, is just not adding something to the discussion of addiction. I don't think that "blaming" me, for digging a hole to which I fell into is my own doing... I've had a taste for off-beat, or at least, non-mainstream stuff, as a kid, when I hit puberty I bought loads of cd's of the most obscure bands (mostly imported even), imported tapes, later dvd's, had a lot of problems with my clothingchoice and all that. So I rather believe that it's merely consequence of "the real world" not being able to handle so. And I do believe, that there's a lot of people like this. I might also think, that some people have a similar taste, but hate the hassle of getting everything through obscure places, rather then just enter something like wal-mart (or any other kinda store in your area) and just settle with something everyone can have.
Further down the line the sir spoke of; you might have a narcissic personality disorder (possibly linked with ASD), to which I fired up wikipedia... (oh look, more fuel to the fire, but seriously... a. who carries a encyclopedia around the house... you know one made out of paper and b. wikipedia, britannica, any digital reference, is way more efficient, then browsing through pages of paper. Ctrl+F wins it over a end-of-book-register anyday) NPD states a lot of stuff to which I might say "yeah, this could apply" I do have a serious list of counter arguments, because practically anything the DSM states, is something that can be put on anyone, if you dig deep enough. But it left me to wonder, that if the guy just asked what my interests were, and asked what I liked about them, he might have a better insight. Also, on the entire NPD thing, and I'm actually giving him credit for seeing it NPD as an option. I doubt that he didn't realize, that for people with NPD, the internet is a good tool to be more manageable in real life. Obviously, NPD's like to hang around with likeminded people... yay forums! They like to be appreciated, yay blog! (oh sh....) and then some more. It is also said that people with said disorder, lack some empathy and emotion (or a lot)... I thought about it for a moment. It's not that I lack empathy, I just find most emotions a totally unneccesary reaction. As I find a lot of stuff, some people will find "fine". I remember, that a few months ago, some guy drove by in a car, having his window open and just screaming something to me. I did not know him and I did not understand his need to express himself in a verbal way where I would be the recipient of his communication. Thus in the end rendering his action, his purpose on doing it like that, totally zero. It has no purpose, just like waving to people to me has no purpose, except when it is to wave someone over.
But yeah... so he blames the internet... and that's coming from a guy who hasn't heard a lot of phrases I've coined during sessions, which I am aware someone, who spends more then just sending email for business, would have heard about, if he would spend some time online. Heck... it's not even that I threw around online exclusive stuff.
I told him that there's more then just books. There's cause and effect on why people do what they do, and not everything has to do with personal trauma. Also, the fact that there is a thing such as "an internetaddiction" is something called into existence, to put people in therapy for as means of a 21st century disorder. While in fact, it's just means of getting information more effectively. Before the internet, people were addicted to "computers". Because they'd spend time on a computer doing nothing "socially purposeful".
The worst thing actually is, while this guy thinks I'm hooked on the internet, little did he know, that a few years ago, I'd spend up to 16 hours a day, painting toy soldiers and not caring about my email and whatnot. That hobby got expensive, I had problems with my breathing due to high exposure of paint (cause I had to paint in my bedroom) and I lost interest all together.
But yeah... I'm waiting for his reply now (but it's 3 am, I doubt he's sending one now), but I'll get one in the next few days. And after that, I might call in to see if I can get some kind of testing and diagnosis on this deal.
