Your relationship status?

[Vanilla]

I think finding the 'right' person is hard anyway, for anyone; especially if you have trouble with social integration. The only thing we can do is to keep trying, until we find one we're happy with. Lowering standards may help, but it's a personal choice; relationships are as much about compromise, as it is about finding someone who works well with you. In the end, if you're not happy with someone, it's probably not a good fit

 

[Ste11aeres]

I think finding the 'right' person is hard anyway, for anyone; especially if you have trouble with social integration. The only thing we can do is to keep trying, until we find one we're happy with. Lowering standards may help, but it's a personal choice; relationships are as much about compromise, as it is about finding someone who works well with you. In the end, if you're not happy with someone, it's probably not a good fit

I think the important question is what are the standards? Some standards are really important and should not be lowered (someone who respects me)...some people have other "standards" that are not important and can be dropped (someone who makes a big deal out of Valentines day for example).
A surprisingly good (and funny) movie about this theme is Beauty and the Briefcase.

 

[Vanilla]

I think the important question is what are the standards? Some standards are really important and should not be lowered (someone who respects me)...some people have other "standards" that are not important and can be dropped (someone who makes a big deal out of Valentines day for example).
A surprisingly good (and funny) movie about this theme is Beauty and the Briefcase.

True; I'd say it depends on the person, and their level of self esteem vs. the reality of their situation.

For example, someone with low self esteem, may generally settle for someone, who may not necessarily deserve them; ie. mistreating them, bringing them down, using and abusing them. Obviously this is bad; the person should try to realise that they deserve better, and raise their standards.

If your standards are too high though, and you are prone to putting people up on pedestals, then it's possible that no human being could possibly live up to the high expectations 100% of the time. It's just as important to realise, that no matter how amazing a person may be, they too are only human, and are allowed to be imperfect, just like everyone else.

Obviously these are two extremes, but they simply clarify the situation. It's up to you to decide where you sit, and whether you need to rethink your perspective. If you're unsure, it's always helpful to get the opinions of others to get a more realistic comparison.

 

[CJinherPJs]

Still single and still not looking. I'm getting tired of people at work asking me if I have a boyfriend every time they see me, and trying to set me up with someone. I don't want a relationship at the moment. That's not to say I don't ever want one though; I might feel differently at some point in the future, but at the moment I'm not ready.

 

[Vanilla]

Still single and still not looking. I'm getting tired of people at work asking me if I have a boyfriend every time they see me, and trying to set me up with someone. I don't want a relationship at the moment. That's not to say I don't ever want one though; I might feel differently at some point in the future, but at the moment I'm not ready.

My mum does the same thing, with the added pressure of expecting a grand child. Good thing I have a sister too

 

[CJinherPJs]

My mum does the same thing, with the added pressure of expecting a grand child. Good thing I have a sister too

My grandmother is the same. It's probably because I'm the only girl on her side of the family, and the first one to have been born after a generation of boys. I've never heard her ask my brother if he has, or is looking for, a girlfriend; he is also single and not looking.

I also have a colleague who does the same thing. I laugh it off, but it does get a bit embarrassing when she asks why I'm not looking.

 

[Andrew Campbell]

Single and looking for 19 years hahaha!

 

[Wintertime]

I put 'single and not looking' but that isn't exactly it, I just don't really think the word 'looking' is the right one for me. I know that's a little pedantic. :x But its more like 'single and go back and forth whether I'd ever want to try again'.

Relationships kind of bewilder me these days. So of course I have to be totally hyper-interested in their dynamics. Lol. That's part of what motivated me to register here, actually. I wanted to see what the philosophies and experiences of other Aspies was like. Not the main reason at all, but definitely one I was curious about.

*edit- holy crap woman, make up your mind (multiple edits, lol)

 

[HeatherWB]

Single-again after nearly 14 years of being married.

I was married to a NT that never quite got me. Even after getting diagnosed last summer, he really didn't seem to be that interested in learning more about it for himself. In all reality, we both agree that we shouldn't have gotten married to begin with.

Even as bad as things were at times, I still want to give marriage another shot, but I'm not looking for a serious relationship at this point. I wouldn't mind having a nice guy-friend to hang out with, though.

Right now, it's all about rebuilding my life as a single person, connecting with new people, trying new things, and healing my spirit.

One thing I've come to realize is that I compromised too much of myself just so I could be married. Now, I'm not willing to settle.

 

[Axeman52]

Single, but I'd want to be in a relationship if I could find someone I actually wanted to be in a relationship with.

 

[Paige]

Single and not looking.

I refuse to put just single on fb I'm already getting guys "trying it on" even though I haven't got any official relationship status.

 

[HeatherWB]

Single and not looking.

I refuse to put just single on fb I'm already getting guys "trying it on" even though I haven't got any official relationship status.

Same here. After my divorce, I deleted my status, but I've already had a couple of guys attempt to contact me. They were promptly turned down. If it's a friend of a friend or we have some other obvious connection (work, church, etc.), then it's a different story.

 

[Matthew Hendrickson]

I've been single for almost 9 years. I was engaged to my high school sweetheart, but she called things off. Ever since, I've struggled to get past a 2nd date, and it's not from a lack of trying. Hopefully soon I'll find someone.


Sent from my iPad using AspiesCentral.com

 

[Naiwen]

I'm in a relationship with someone online.

 

[Daniel]

In the process of separating after seven years of marriage and eleven years together. We grew out of what we had and we were holding each other back, and God bless my wife for having the guts to finally say it.

I'm turning 34 soon, and I'll be moving into the big city (Toronto) for the first time as a full-fledged yuppie. Definitely NOT looking. I want to embrace being independent. I want to do what I want to do, when I want to.

I also came across this article, "Why is it so hard to hook up in Toronto?". Apparently, Toronto is not a good place to find love. The comments thread is quite revealing (and to me, amusing).

 

[HeatherWB]

In the process of separating after seven years of marriage and eleven years together. We grew out of what we had and we were holding each other back, and God bless my wife for having the guts to finally say it.

That sounds very similar to my story! Yes, I was the one who finally got up enough courage to speak up. We were together about a year and then married for almost 14 years.

One new thing I tried this week is Western Swing dancing and I'm hooked! Even though I'm not seriously looking, the attention from the guys was really nice! If I was still married, I seriously doubt I could've gotten the husband to join me in something like this; most everything we did together was about him. Independence is a good thing!

 

[shakeitup94]

Sort of dating my longtime best friend.

 

[Daniel]

That sounds very similar to my story! Yes, I was the one who finally got up enough courage to speak up. We were together about a year and then married for almost 14 years.

One new thing I tried this week is Western Swing dancing and I'm hooked! Even though I'm not seriously looking, the attention from the guys was really nice! If I was still married, I seriously doubt I could've gotten the husband to join me in something like this; most everything we did together was about him. Independence is a good thing!

Wow... looking forward to that kind of independence! I'm still not out yet; still have another seven weeks before I get my own place.

 

[Spinosaurus kin]

In love with lesbian girl.
See her every day.
Planning to tell her that we can't see each other anymore.
*Sigh*

 

[ghoulbler]

Single and looking... I think it's been a long enough time since my last relationship catastrophe. I have a few crushes, nothing too serious, though I have had my eye on this one guy... but he doesn't live near. He said he wants to save money for us to meet someday, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm not expecting it to go down any serious route.

I don't interact with a lot of people outside of the computer. I feel like my bond with people is much stronger online than offline. It's what happened with my ex. Things didn't feel right when we were together outside of the internet, we didn't feel connected to one another. It was weird.

Forming relationships is hard.