Wrong Planet 1

[Magna]

The name is a bit controversial, I’d say? Wrong Planet.

Many autistic people, myself included feel like they're either on the wrong planet, or they're a foreigner living in a foreign land. I can imagine what it's like being a person who lives in a country/culture that was not the one they were born into and perhaps they learn the native tongue as a second language. Even if they live in that new country for the remainder of their life and become quite fluent in the language, it will always feel like it's not their "home" and they'll always feel on some level that they're different than the people who are native to that country.

I embraced Wrong Planet right away during my search which at that point was only self-diagnosis because when I was a child I actually thought I was from a different planet. I was convinced that was the only explanation as to why I was different from everyone else. I went as far as to name the planet, the creator/leader of that planet and invented a rudimentary language. I also gave myself a new name in my planet's language and insisted that others call me by that name. My fellow peers, relatives, friends and friend's parents obliged and I was known by that name for years. I also told my parents that they since I was created on that other planet I was grateful to them for being my surrogate parents.

You can imagine that "Wrong Planet" resonated with me.

 

[Ezra]

you just have to learn to ignore the idiots. there's a lot of good people over there. just a few that spoil things.

There are only a few who seem mainly bent on striking nerves. The bad apples spoiling the whole barrel. I know that none of them would last here doing the same as they do on WP. I do not have to worry about them coming here and spoiling this place, because I know the staff here would not tolerate it. Whereas on WP not only are they tolerated, they are thriving and dominant.

I will likely continue on WP after the temp ban I got for trying to battle those few bad apples is over. But I am done with trying to get through to them or the neglectful enabling staff there. It's an exercise in futility that just bites you on the rump if you go at it long enough. The bullies/instigators/trolls seem to be the vip pets of the mods, so that is where the place falls apart and ceases to be an actual support forum. The name of the place should be changed to, "Welcome to the Jungle".

 

[Kalinychta]

There are only a few who seem mainly bent on striking nerves. The bad apples spoiling the whole barrel. I know that none of them would last here doing the same as they do on WP. I do not have to worry about them coming here and spoiling this place, because I know the staff here would not tolerate it. Whereas on WP not only are they tolerated, they are thriving and dominant.

I will likely continue on WP after the temp ban I got for trying to battle those few idiots is over. But I am done with trying to get through to them or the neglectful enabling staff there. It's an exercise in futility that just bites you in the rump if you go at it long enough. The bullies/instigators/trolls seem to be the vip pets of the mods, so that is where the place falls apart and ceases to be an actual support forum. The name of the place should be changed to, "Welcome to the Jungle".

This is precisely the sort of thing other people here have said. What exactly do the bullies do there?

 

[Magna]

This is precisely the sort of thing other people here have said. What exactly do the bullies do there?

They openly gang up on people who don't believe exactly the way they do politically. They're allowed to weaponize their politics to the point of not only calling the few conservative members there Facists, Nazis, White Supremacists and "dripping with white privilege", they openly or in the most thinly veiled ways call people the same names who are on record as not only being moderates politically, but also are on record as being supportive of and advocating for all people regardless of race, sex, gender, religion or neurology. It's really something. The few bad actors view themselves as the arbiters of good and bad and pass public judgement like a kangaroo court. It's far beyond only having or arguing strong opinions, it's publicly shaming and castigating people. It's toxic bigotry cloaked in delusional self-righteousness.

It's apparently been that way ebbing and flowing for years, but I can say within just the last two years it's devolved into something that's questionable in regard to its safety for someone looking for a support forum. I recently told my autism therapist that I could no longer personally endorse Wrong Planet as a site to recommend for autism support.

 

[Kalinychta]

They openly gang up on people who don't believe exactly the way they do politically. They're allowed to weaponize their politics to the point of not only calling the few conservative members there Facists, Nazis, White Supremacists and "dripping with white privilege", they openly or in the most thinly veiled ways call people the same names who are on record as not only being moderates politically, but also are on record as being supportive for and advocating for all people regardless of race, sex, gender, religion or neurology. It's really something. The few bad actors view themselves as the arbiters of good and bad and pass public judgement like a kangaroo court. It's far beyond only having or arguing strong opinions, it's publicly shaming and castigating people. It's toxic bigotry cloaked in delusional self-righteousness.

It's apparently been that way ebbing and flowing for years, but I can say within just the last two years it's devolved into something that's questionable in regard to its safety for someone looking for a support forum. I recently told my autism therapist that I could no longer personally endorse Wrong Planet as a site to recommend for autism support.

Oh my goodness gracious! There must be more than a few WP “refugees” here, I shouldn’t wonder? None of that would be tolerated here, no sir! I wonder how so many of the members on WP could be okay with such a hostile environment?
I also heard that there is an infestation of incels there. Is that true, in your experience?

 

[Magna]

Oh my goodness gracious! There must be more than a few WP “refugees” here, I shouldn’t wonder? None of that would be tolerated here, no sir! I wonder how so many of the members on WP could be okay with such a hostile environment?
I also heard that there is an infestation of incels there. Is that true, in your experience?

Re: Incels. There isn't an "infestation" of them or hasn't been in the last few years. However, there have been a few. They kind of come and go.

 

[dragonfire42]

Oh my goodness gracious! There must be more than a few WP “refugees” here, I shouldn’t wonder? None of that would be tolerated here, no sir! I wonder how so many of the members on WP could be okay with such a hostile environment?
I also heard that there is an infestation of incels there. Is that true, in your experience?

I’m not as active on WP as I used to be because of the hostile environment, though I avoid a lot of the hostility by staying far away from the “politics, philosophy, and religion” section and not entering political debates. It doesn’t feel like a refuge to me anymore.

From what I understand (not super familiar with the term “incel,” though I’ve looked up what it means) people are calling other members incels when those members do not seem to share the typical incel mentality, at least not to the extent that people think when they hear/see the word. There does seem to be a “women have it infinitely easier than men when it comes to dating” mentality, I’ve been flat-out told my experiences (or lack thereof) don’t count because women like me are so rare as to be statistically insignificant, by one member. Never try to spike the punch at a pity party with a healthy dose of reality, is what I’ve learned.

 

[Ezra]

This is precisely the sort of thing other people here have said. What exactly do the bullies do there?

They basically try to make you sorry you posted there if you say something they don't like hearing. They can be snide, snarky, sarcastic, belittling, mocking. Stuff like that. They will sometimes do it in a way that looks friendly. Give you a back handed complement (an insult disguised as a complement) for instance. They put out innuendo about those they don't like. Veiled character attacks. They provoke people to fight back and then play the victim. Which seems to work for the mods because often the person who fights back is very direct, rather than being sneaky about it like they are. They are good at playing mind games. Lousy with logic and facts, but great at mind games.

 

[Ezra]

A mod has started a thread going on WP about how to save it.

It is a full of circular reasoning and arguing train wreck.

This is me reading it:

 

[Hylian]

A mod has started a thread going on WP about how to save it.

It is a full of circular reasoning and arguing train wreck.

This is me reading it:

The mod even asked people to stop and they just kept doing it, like they always do. It's also the same three or so arguments that break out and the same few members that are on every other thread that devolves into this.

 

[Karamazov]

A mod has started a thread going on WP about how to save it.

It is a full of circular reasoning and arguing train wreck.

This is me reading it:

Another one?
I’m sure it will lead to a glorious, constructive conclusion.

 

[Ella Spell]

It's very sad. The moderators say they want to save the site and they seek suggestions, but when presented with members' honest input they defend the bullies and trolls, claiming they're autistic and don't know any better than to mock the membership with ongoing harassment which shouldn't really upset anyone.

Blame is put on the victims, the other 98% of its autistic member base. Apparently they're all too sensitive and should learn to grow thicker skin when being harassed, mocked, maligned, and humiliated on a public access support site. Their rights, their autism, and their mental health have always taken a back seat to the gatekeepers who run the place with toxic negativity. It's really quite a spectacle. My boyfriend who is a psychologist calls them all "spiteful sociopaths".

 

[hatfullofrain]

This is precisely the sort of thing other people here have said. What exactly do the bullies do there?

I avoided the politics, philosophy and religion section, so I don't know what goes on there, but I did frequent the Love and Dating section and it was quite hostile towards women and towards men struggling with low self esteem.

Snide comments rather than outright bullying. Though, there was also the problem of men saying incel type things like women only want men with cars, money and good jobs. Women saying what they actually find attractive was poo pooed and shushed. A lot of female members gave up commenting on L&D and it's just an echo chamber now.

 

[Ella Spell]

Unfortunately, it's impossible to discuss Politics, Philosophy or Religion in an intellectual way on WP because there are essentially no rules in that forum. Mods admit it. I'm a student of Philosophy but I can't go to PPR without running the risk of personal attacks, harassment, or insult which wouldn't be allowed on any other internet forum. Philosophy or Religion might be someone's special interest but there's no safe space for anyone to discuss spirituality or personal beliefs on WP whilst having a semblance of rules enforced. Many members want to share their thoughts or their ideology without being mocked as "delusional" or "delirious", labelled with hate terms, or trapped in defensive posturing about their topic. Sadly, that's not an option because the only forum available for academic discussion on WP has no rules and takes no prisoners. It's an enter-at-your-own-risk mentality.

If you get harassed in PPR, the leadership will suggest you are at fault for going there in the first place. Don't expect help. How dare anyone post about ancient philosophy if they don't want attacked? How dare anyone express an opinion or life experience without political motives being assigned? Then, the bullies follow their targets around the rest of the site to continue mocking them, even in The Haven which is supposed to be protected but isn't.

When members don't have an opportunity to have reasonable, informed, civil discourse in PPR, or if they avoid vulnerability by not posting in The Haven, there's little else to do on WP. You'll have the option of reading people's smut in the Adult forum, getting attacked in gender wars on LD, playing word games, or posting music. It's hard to be included in any true, intelligent discourse because that's just a battleground.

Separating PPR by making it optional the way it is on AF will not solve this problem. They need to enforce rules in PPR so that all members are safe to discuss Politics, Philosophy or Religion without being faulted if they dare to step inside. I can imagine that making it optional would only strengthen the argument "You chose to come in here and you're too sensitive. What did you expect?"

There is very little focus on Autism or truly supporting one another. Most people say they're tired of talking about Autism. Support for those who are upset usually consists of "I'm sorry that happened. Don't let it bother you. Just ignore it. I managed despite the odds so you should too" -- even in relation to bullying or abuse on the site, or in members' personal lives. This cavalier attitude undermines the struggles of many people in considerable pain, or those suffering from trauma / depression / anxiety disorders / background stories of extreme duress. Threads are frequently derailed even when they're of a sensitive nature. Often, you can open a thread called "I'm Really Hurting" (etc.), but find the weather report for another country, or people other than the OP discussing their sex lives and / or food preferences. It's just bizarre in that regard.

It's really hard for me to watch WP sink. I put my heart and soul into the site and hoped the atmosphere would improve but sadly, it seems to be on its last legs due to a lack of constructive leadership. I'm very grateful for AF, where I always feel safe and everyone's experience is taken seriously.

 

[Ezra]

When I joined an online game forum the place was out of control with derailing, infighting, bullying and trolling. Then a new general manager came in and just simply eliminated the troublemakers. Now it operates considerably more smoothly.

 

[Ella Spell]

I may be naive, but it doesn't seem like rocket science.

 

[Hylian]

Most of the people on WP seem to simply use the site as a way to vent their aggression on others, like I said on the mods thread. They're condescending, passive aggressive, and like Ella said will follow members around the site, even into The Haven, and it's all encouraged by the mods. At this point I feel like the mods either like the chaos or are too scared to break up the clique they all have going on, but the site isn't going to continue to gain and keep much membership if things aren't changed or a few people aren't removed from the site. Their own clique is even breaking up because of this.

I've noticed most new members get ran off the site by a few specific people, and then whenever it's mentioned that happens it's the same old excuses. "Well, I'm autistic, I really don't have any control over how I talk to others, despite the fact I've had the specific behaviours pointed out 20 times before!"

I've also seen another excuse which makes me laugh when these same people say people have a victim mentality on there, where they'll say everyone always targets them, even in real life. "You all are saying you're being bullied too much, but boohoo for me, I'm always bullied. That's why you shouldn't call out my behaviour because you're all just ganging up on me!"

Both of those tactics seem to work, and so are enough for the mods and the rest of the clique to shush anyone who dared backtalk to one of their higher members.

The main userbase (sans a couple people) at this point is basically full of overgrown 12 year olds who are playing a game of keep-the-castle, it's everyone against them. Any tactics they can use to keep things the same and stay on the top, kicking others down, is fair game. It's their website and they're going to bring it all down with them.

 

[Ezra]

Most of the people on WP seem to simply use the site as a way to vent their aggression on others, like I said on the mods thread. They're condescending, passive aggressive, and like Ella said will follow members around the site, even into The Haven, and it's all encouraged by the mods. At this point I feel like the mods either like the chaos or are too scared to break up the clique they all have going on, but the site isn't going to continue to gain and keep much membership if things aren't changed or a few people aren't removed from the site. Their own clique is even breaking up because of this.

I've noticed most new members get ran off the site by a few specific people, and then whenever it's mentioned that happens it's the same old excuses. "Well, I'm autistic, I really don't have any control over how I talk to others, despite the fact I've had the specific behaviours pointed out 20 times before!"

I've also seen another excuse which makes me laugh when these same people say people have a victim mentality on there, where they'll say everyone always targets them, even in real life. "You all are saying you're being bullied too much, but boohoo for me, I'm always bullied. That's why you shouldn't call out my behaviour because you're all just ganging up on me!"

Both of those tactics seem to work, and so are enough for the mods and the rest of the clique to shush anyone who dared backtalk to one of their higher members.

The main userbase (sans a couple people) at this point is basically full of overgrown 12 year olds who are playing a game of keep-the-castle, it's everyone against them. Any tactics they can use to keep things the same and stay on the top, kicking others down, is fair game. It's their website and they're going to bring it all down with them.

So very well said, both there and here. Your perspective as an insightful and objective relative newcomer is of great value.

 

[Magna]

What no one there gets is that the racist and white supremacist name calling is one of THE main problems causing toxicity on WP. Too many of them are deluded with the thinking that because racism is bad (it is), they get to arbitrarily label and point fingers at whomever they choose to be racist, etc and unleash their weapons and it's ok. It's not ok. It's very wrong. It's a very serious accusation, the kind of which that in public, physical altercations could even take place over it, reputations and social status could be ruined. It's libelous. Again, they don't realize that it's one of the biggest problems on WP and it's staring them in the faces.

It would be one thing if WP was overrun by actual professed white supremacists, but that's absolutely not the case. Not even one. It's not only allowed to happen, certain mods condone and even participate in it. Calling someone a derogatory name is against the rules (naturally), but calling people racists, white supremacists and "dripping with white privilege" knowing nothing about the person or their experiences in life is allowed on WP. THAT is one of the most toxic problems on WP. Sadly it is only a mere handful of people there that do it and obsessively so. They could easily be told to stop since the WP rules are already written to prohibit such behavior or they could be banned or perma-banned if they can't control themselves and the site would become more hospitable in short order.

 

[Ezra]

^ It's basically a clique of those who feel morally superior; and more enlightened and intelligent etc, than those who don't go along with them. They use words like bigot and racist the way cults use words like heathen and infidel. Which is simply calling someone a scumbag. And this attitude they have about themselves and others bleeds onto just about everything they post.