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Who else doesn't want kids?

Whattup

Whattup

Well-Known Member
I'm just curious, how many people are out there who don't have an interest in having kids? I'm one of them.

I'm too selfish for children, it would be unfair to subject them to that! But also, there's just no desire for them.

I had an NT friend of mine tell me that that would send men (in my case) running the other direction. Do people here agree with that? If you were a guy, and your girlfriend/romantic interest said kids were a no-go, would you look for love elsewhere?

I'm really interested in what everyone has to say. I want to know what guys are thinking about what I say and do.
 
I did dated someone that didn't want kids even though she didn't. Was together for 3 months until she learned I'm not the guy for her. But the relationship didn't ended about kids. .
 
I have no interest in kids having kids whatsoever... and I'll leave it at that, since anything else I could say that revolves around procreation and birth will offend a whole lot of people here.
 
I don't want kids. Or, more accurately, I don't want the humongous responsibility that comes with having kids. Like King Oni, I'll leave it at that, since the list of things I don't want when it comes to having kids is a lot more comprehensive and you never can tell what will set people off. :P (The main idea, though, seems to be using "negative" adjectives about stuff they like, and "positive" adjectives about stuff they don't like. There are no neutral adjectives.)
 
I thought I didn't want kids until my nephew was born - now I know I don't want kids.

I find other people's kids intolerably stressful to have in my house even for a few hours (and sometimes the parents stress me out just as much, too). The stress would be magnified to an extreme extent if they were mine because they'd be in my house permanently and I would be responsible for them.
 
No, I never wanted kids for 4 basic reasons:

Fear of childbirth and associated pain
Fear of responsibility - not being a good mother, not being able to meet the child's needs, not being able to bond as a mother should.
I seem to have no maternal intincts
Sensory difficulties: crying, noise, smells.
 
Progster said:
No, I never wanted kids for 4 basic reasons:

Fear of childbirth and associated pain
Fear of responsibility - not being a good mother, not being able to meet the child's needs, not being able to bond as a mother should.
I seem to have no maternal intincts
Sensory difficulties: crying, noise, smells.
Click to expand...
Lol...YES! I do NOT want kids for these reasons too. Mostly to do with the pain.
 
Progster said:
No, I never wanted kids for 4 basic reasons:

Fear of childbirth and associated pain
Fear of responsibility - not being a good mother, not being able to meet the child's needs, not being able to bond as a mother should.
I seem to have no maternal intincts
Sensory difficulties: crying, noise, smells.
Click to expand...
Some of these are some of my reasons for not wanting kids too - of course, childbirth and associated pain does not apply to me and we can swap mother/maternal with father/paternal where applicable.

But it's mostly the sensory issues and the fact that I just don't like kids (or anyone else, for that matter) touching me or touching my stuff, and it really stresses me out if they get too close - especially little kids that suck their own hands or put everything in their mouth, and haven't yet learned what the toilet is for...
 
Kirsty said:
Lol...YES! I do NOT want kids for these reasons too. Mostly to do with the pain.
Click to expand...

There's a name for this - tokophobia.

Axeman52 said:
Some of these are some of my reasons for not wanting kids too - of course, childbirth and associated pain does not apply to me and we can swap mother/maternal with father/paternal where applicable.

But it's mostly the sensory issues and the fact that I just don't like kids (or anyone else, for that matter) touching me or touching my stuff, and it really stresses me out if they get too close - especially little kids that suck their own hands or put everything in their mouth, and haven't yet learned what the toilet is for...
Click to expand...

I think that shows of affection such as hugs and kisses would be difficult for me because I'm not a touchy-feely-huggy person, and as a child I didn't show much affection. I think I would be one of Kanner's 'refrigerator mothers' :(
 
King_Oni said:
since anything else I could say that revolves around procreation and birth will offend a whole lot of people here.
Click to expand...

I'd really like to know what you think about the above - I could use a good laugh.

For those of you who said you don't want kids because of the smells, all I can say is you are going to hate old age. :p (Oldies are pretty much big babies - diapers, incontinent, butt cream, no teeth, having to eat pureed food, and whining about every little thing.)
 
Well I'm going to represent the other side. I love kids. That is a good thing, because we have lots of kids and grandkids. I've even got a great-grand child on the way. To me, my family is everything. I know everybody is different and the decision to have kids is not one to be taken lightly. For me, all these kids are what it is all about. The only thing more important to me is my wife.
 
Whattup said:
I had an NT friend of mine tell me that that would send men (in my case) running the other direction.
Click to expand...
A patently unfair generalization on your friend's part. I know far more males in the dating pool/are currently dating who absolutely do not want kids than do.

As for me? Kids terrify me. I mean, really. Freeze up and want to run in the opposite direction. Don't get me wrong, I still find them cute, but only at a distance. I'm thinking about volunteering to help a co-worker tutor her young daughter as a bit of "exposure therapy."

All said and done, though, I'm an aromantic asexual, so while I could theoretically have kids, maybe with a good friend as a surrogate with whom I could raise them and live with, it'd be much less likely even if I wanted them.
 
"Whattup, post: 191062, member: 12698"]I'm just curious, how many people are out there who don't have an interest in having kids? I'm one of them.

I'm too selfish for children, it would be unfair to subject them to that! But also, there's just no desire for them.

I had an NT friend of mine tell me that that would send men (in my case) running the other direction. Do people here agree with that? If you were a guy, and your girlfriend/romantic interest said kids were a no-go, would you look for love elsewhere?

I'm really interested in what everyone has to say. I want to know what guys are thinking about what I say and do.
Click to expand...

Hi (Whattap), It would not send me running, if I met a classy lady and she was done with the kids thing, or whatever I could live with it. The selfish remark if you really meant it would wilt the rose a bit, selflessness is the most important quality there is. I suspect however if you are like m,e all the crying and fighting and complaining and stress that comes with children, looks a little overwhelming. I think even the NTs get that glazed look sometimes.. like.. what did I get my self into. But there are moments when I watch the cute little kids play tag at church their little faces lit up with laughter, their eyes sparkling, and
my heart goes a little side ways. I think if you are holding a baby and it's yours, all those things melt from your mind.:):sunflower::bee::hatchedchick::hatchedchick:
 
I'd say I'm rather interested, but it's not a deal-breaker if she doesn't want 'em. Sometimes it does feel like I've got too much good stuff I could be passing on to be passing up the whole progeny bit, but then I remember that I'd have to care for the lil' one. Then I put my sloth-face on and consider how much awesome food I could buy for the average cost of raising a child.
 
Progster said:
There's a name for this - tokophobia.
Click to expand...
Interesting. I'll need to look this up.

Progster said:
I think that shows of affection such as hugs and kisses would be difficult for me because I'm not a touchy-feely-huggy person, and as a child I didn't show much affection. I think I would be one of Kanner's 'refrigerator mothers' :(
Click to expand...
That's understandable. I'm a cuddly person, but had been let down by a lot of people in the past, especially my family and can't imagine having kids. It's hard enough looking after my own needs for starters.
 
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