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What's your excuse?

Because you hid your super-duper-secret diary too well.

Why am I having to pay to put everyone up in Zurich?
 
Because Ljubljana didn't meet their standards. They are snobs.

Why didn't you offer them Paris in the first place?
 
Nobody was in a rush to go there.

Why does this highway have so many curves?
 
Because otherwise you wouldn't be able to travel anywhere except the direction you're already pointing in and you'd just go in circles.

Why did my Geometry teacher sign me for AB Algebra 2 next year instead of BC when I have a 95?
 
Because a=b(c*b)/(ab-c)*63 and if that makes no sense, be pleased you will be learning AB Algebra 2 because that will explain it :-D

Why did you just knock my door then run away?
 
Oh, like I can actually run. You know I drove away in the RV.

What are you doing to my father's blood pressure?
 
I'm making it high by pretending I'm planning to kill him. But I won't. I just wanted to see if he'd actually believe me. I guess he did.

Why did you sign up for a chorus audition when we're supposed to be working on a project for French class at the same time?
 
I plan to sing the content of our French project for my audition.
That counts as working on it, right? You come, too. Make it a
duet.

Why don't you give your life savings to the Little Sisters of Mercy
for Martians in support of their 'Aliens Among Us Carbon Speed Dating Project'?
 
I suppose I could, but given that my life savings now only exist in the form of food/clothing/shoes/uniforms/bus passes/club memberships/ps4 games/bedding/toiletries/haircuts/pocket money for someone else's kids, I highly doubt they'd appreciate my donation anyway.

Why haven't you adopted a naked mole rat?
 
Not me.

Why whenever I try to talk about something that's bothering me do you always just talk about your own problems?
 
Because people are saving their high ratings.

Why am I "living in a world so cold, counting the days, since you've gone away"? (Three Days Grace, World So Cold)
 
This is happening because you are allowing
lyrics written by someone else to be a framework within
which you perceive reality.

How come you never want to do
what everybody else is doing?
 
Because nobody cares whether or not I'm doing what they're doing.

Why did you just randomly invite yourself into my house?
 
The decision was nowhere near as random as
you suppose. I used polyhedra dice in the
decision making process.

Why can't you remember to turn out
the light when you leave the room?
 
I do remember. It's just that I'll be back in the room in less than a minute, and it'll take more energy if I turn it off and then turn it back on again.

Why are you forcing your pocket frogs to race?
 
You have mistaken me for someone else.
Possibly Princess Diana or Natalie the Trained Seal.
I have no Pocket Frogs.

Are you going to just sit
in the house again all
weekend, or what?
 
For three days? Also, it's an apartment.

Why is the electric company working on my plumbing next week?
 
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