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What's your excuse?

Because they bring their own fur coat.

You didn't ring me today. What's your excuse?
 
Because doesn't work at the United Nations.

How would we get the RV to Kenya?
 
By making 'brum brum' noises and running with your feet through the bottom like the Flintstones.

Why do you spend so much money on pedicures?
 
The more you pay, the more it's worth.

Why didn't you RSVP that invitation to
the Lady Gaga/Hillary Clinton Yo Mama
Smack Down last week?
 
Because you knew before inviting me that I was going to say no.

Why did you walk into school with dripping hair this morning?
 
It's so far from the time of the full moon that my werewolf tendencies
are feeble and my coat is shedding terribly. Sorry.

What's the idea, claiming to be royalty?
 
I thought we could all just make do with nectarines.

Why haven't you found a good go-between for me yet
so that I can deal with those silly legalities?
 
Because I'm several thousand miles away and have a terrible telephone manner. (Otherwise of course I would)

Why do you insist on keeping that ridiculous moustache?
 
It reminds me so of you, I can't bear to part with it. :oops:

What's the story on that blob of ambergris in your
pocket: Why don't you get rid of that?
 
Because it reminds me of Willy.

How are we going to keep Mia's car secure?
 
By encompassing it in a layer of marshmallow and then a barbed wire mesh with a giant lock to which only you and she know the 17 digit code.

Why haven't you sorted the recycling into the correct bins?
 
A family of beavers, to add to the dam they started with the wood they stole from the unfortunate woodchuck.

Why haven't you polished your bald spot this morning?
 
Why are you looking there?

Why didn't anyone tell me that I was late for an almost-important date?
 
Because you're supposed to be a responsible adult. (Tut tut ;-) )

Why haven't you taken your mop to the shop?
 
I thought you said he was bald.

When will you get over that crush on Justin Bieber?
 
When I finally get to crush him with a steamroller!

Why were you looking through my super-secret diary anyway?
 
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