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What's your excuse?

I want to see if my clothes will transform
into a living entity if I leave them in a pile.

Why don't you give your genie a bigger lamp to live in?
 
You act like I've got multiple lamps to choose from.

Why won't you let me work this Saturday?
 
Because I'm mean and nasty, and because on Saturday you have to be my (unpaid) personal skivvy.

Why haven't you spun around til you got dizzy today?
 
I don't even have to spin around to get dizzy.
Take last night for instance.

When are you going to get me a nice list of
trigraphs & diphthongs so I can make that
thing for those kids?
 
tree said:
When are you going to get me a nice list of
trigraphs & diphthongs so I can make that
thing for those kids?
Click to expand...

When you get me the epigrams and platitudes that I need.

Why hasn't anyone raised Al Capp from the dead yet?
 
Because cartoon diggers can't move real dirt and cartoon cranes can't lift a real coffin...and he'd be all mouldy and stinky by now anyway...

Why haven't you designed a badge for the badger?
 
We don't need no stinkin' badges.

Why are the lights in the park so bright?
 
Someone forgot that the light didn't need to be changed and so they put a new light in the park
 
Because mumbling to yourself while feeding pigeons in the park is not a job.

Why did my local Smith's supermarket stop selling nuts in bulk?
 
Last edited:
They found out that most people are highly allergic to nuts.

Why can't I seem to get anything straight when it comes to talking to people?
 
Because that is unrealistic and work places know that.

Why can I be so calm in bad situations?
 
Because you are calm in every situation. In fact, you are incapable of anything else.

Why won't this heat wave end?
 
Because you are in it.

Does it always rain when it gets cloudy with dark clouds?
 
It's been a very long day.
-----
Why don't you ever roll in the snow?
 
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