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What's your excuse?

This wouldn't be an issue if you'd just pack right now
and move up north to a seasonal hunting cabin on
a two-track. You've got all weekend to do it.

Why did you disappear like that when all they
were trying to do was help you?
 
Because I don't support killing pigs.

Why can't you realize that I don't care about your high score on some stupid game?
 
Because I'm so horribly self - absorbed that I think everyone else thinks about me as much as I do.

How come you've never donated to the charity for one-eyed, wooden-legged, pirate chickens?
 
I didn't know that chickens were behind The Pirate Bay.

Why I am so full right now?
 
Because you insisted on opening all the cereal boxes in the grocery store, and since you had to pay for all of them you needed your money's worth.

Why do I always have to write out a plan for finishing my schoolwork?
 
Because there are several other people who need it.

Why can't the washers in this building take toonies?
 
Because you didn't specify which version of washers. A little metal-like ring isn't going to do much for you.

Why do you keep accusing me of spoiling the story you're reading when I'm talking about parts you've already read?
 
Have you ever tried my cooking?

Why haven't you leased Wembley for the ABBA reunion concert?
 
It has be my lack of acquaintanceship with them.
I will give them the benefit of the doubt. Later,
after I have heard them, I will be able to make
an more informed evaluation.

How will you find time to carpet
the interior of that 12 x 20 foot sugar egg you are
making for Easter without neglecting your duties
as Chief Instructress of Pot Holder Weaving at
the Teens & Tots Nursery?
 
I ate the egg, so it no longer needs to be carpeted. Problem Solved!



Why didn't you buy me chocolates for Valentines Day?
 
I did, but I didn't know where to send them...so then I ate them...Nom nom nom. Sozzy.

Why is your bathroom full of fez-wearing alpacas?
 
Cuz there was no room to put them in the bedroom, as it is full of crocodiles in Mionion onesies.


Why have you put garden worms in the spaghetti bolognese?
 
They're an extra source of protein, very nutritious. Although possibly not tasty.

Why have you been eating my spaghetti bolognese?
 
Because you didn't ask and my psychic powers have clearly deserted me!

Why are you trying to get your friend into trouble?
 
I didn't know telling the truth would
be a problem for anyone.

Who's responsible for breaking
that glass in my sink
this afternoon?
 
Some newlywed Jewish people.

Why isn't the live stream of the soccer game working?
 
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