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What Not to Say to "I Love You"

"I love you"

"Oh. How... nice.. for you. *nervous laughter*. I'm just going to go to the loo." << my response to a friends weepy drunk confession.
 
[I love you]

"I am sporting a tremendous woody."
Ben J., in Short Circuit
 
[I love you.]

poQ HoS 'ut reciprocal bang, vo' jIH SIQ DaHutlh'a'.
Klingon: You lack the required strength necessary to endure a reciprocal love from me.
 
[I love you]

My name is Lolita and ...I am NOT
allowed to...play with boys.
 
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[I love you]

Ohhhh...I think you must want to talk to my Grandma. I'll go see if she's awake.
 
(I love you.)

That's wonderful. This means that you are about to join our sect's mission to Alpha Sagittarius IV that will be starting in ten days.
 
newcreate.php

I love you, too.....just....not---uh, "that way."
 
[I love you.]

Congratulations! You've said The Phrase That Pays! You win fifty dollars and a copy of James Taylor's new album!
 
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