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What made you UNHAPPY today?

benign paroxysmal positional vertigo. It was moderate to severe. I got really nauseous just sitting up in bed. Had to nap it off until 12:30. Got up very slowly, held on to the walls and furniture to aid in walking, and didn't move my head from its downward tilt position. I feel better now and can actually eat my first meal of the day (It's now 2:36, I'm ravenous).
 
Worry thoughts about future meeting with gatekeeper. My priorities are:

maintain clean appearance,
remain calm through practice,
manage anxiety &
expect it to suck.

Fake it till you fake it & then fake it some more.
Focus on what is within my realm of control.
Practice faking it.
 
Our house is slightly downhill from our next door neighbors. This means that on days like today when we get an inch of rain in an hour, our side yard turns into an ankle deep pond. It's a big trouble we don't know how to fix.
 
Having my lunch hidden as a prank by my coworkers when I decided to step outside to get some fresh air and check my texts.
 
I didn't get to sleep until around 5 AM, and due to my difficulty with walking in and out of rooms without bumping into walls and things I accidentally dropped one of my favorite cups and it shattered into pieces.
 
Coming home. Why? Because my mom is still here. It was supposed to be temporary while I was recovering from surgery last year and I couldn't lift bags of pellets. The mothering is getting out of hand and I feel like a cold dead existence that can't think for myself anymore. Telling me what to wear, what to eat, wanting to follow me whatever I do. The other day I said I did not want a push mower, I have no use for one, I have a perfectly good rider. She bought one anyway, then mowed over half of my pretty flower garden with it. I confronted her about it and she said "oh you don't need a garden that big, I was just cleaning it up". I don't want to be an a-hole to my own mom and throw her out on the street (or back to my dad's and he doesn't want her back, they've been divorced and she freeloaded and put the brakes on his life for 8 years.) But I might have to. Either that or get another place I can call my own, while I'm still paying all the bills at my dream house and she just squats in it. Last summer it was my ex who wouldn't leave and I had to take her to court. Same story, different year.
 
I got up early especially to be able to take my snails' enclosure out into the garden and clean it out in peace, without having to worry about the neighbours. Instead, I get the smell of marijuana the whole time. I feel sick and anxious, do a rushed job, and now feel set for an anxious day.
 
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