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i wasn't saying ? to your comment Beverly, i was saying ? to the thread generally, i.e. how it would feel to be a neurotypical.He means that he would react to stop whatever we were both afraid of then, figure out what actually happened and why while I would figure out what was happening and why first, then act to stop it.
That may be his professional training coming into play more so than being an NT. "Reasonable Fear", I think is the term, where if it's a viable threat to your life, you take out that threat immediately then ask questions later, or something along those lines.As my NT body guard tells me when we discuss actions if I were seriously threatened, he'd shoot first and ask questions later, I'd ask questions first and, might not shoot at all.
Good morning Rayner,I'm an Aspie among other things. It diffuclt for me to connect to people socially. It's not that I don't want to connect to others. My emotional bank is quite small so I save it for a few people close to me. I love logical, concrete things in high detail, because that's how my brain innately proccess everything it senses in the world
When we talk about the weather, or give a compliment about someone's shoes or show off our children's school pictures...what we are communicating is the shared experience and emotions of these things. When we talk about the weather,for example, Bill tells Tom, "Whew, it's 100 degrees today and they say it's going to get all the way up to 108 by the end of the week", we are really saying, a million other things (like its way too hot, need rain now, remembering how cold it was this winter so we should appreciate this heat, wondering about how the garden is doing, if our dogs are ok in this heat etc...) It's like a snapshot of experiences flow through our minds and while different, there is a common theme and the common theme is "the 100 degree weather". It's over in mere seconds, yet, we connected to each other.
When we give a compliment, its not insincere, we freely give the compliment, in relation to how it will make the other person feel. Sure, I may personally, dislike Rebecca's lime green skirt for myself. But, I know Rebecca really likes to dress flashy and so I will tell her that I like her skirt. Rebecca is happy and feels a little bit more confident. I feel happy, just by seeing her happy. More importantly, it took maybe 30 seconds for me relay to Rebecca that I appreciate and accept her style, all by saying, that simple sentence.
Our chit-chat serves a point for us and it usually adds to our emotional bank. We constantly give and seek emotional validation from our environment and everyone around us.
That may be his professional training coming into play more so than being an NT. "Reasonable Fear", I think is the term, where if it's a viable threat to your life, you take out that threat immediately then ask questions later, or something along those lines.
I'd ask a million and one questions, try to find some common ground with my attacker, try to connect and evoke something in the attacker that hopefully would save me. I don't think I could shoot either.
My brain processes everything through my "heart", so to speak. Meaning, I take in the world around me, through an emotional filter. I see what makes me feel good, what makes me feel happy, what makes me feel unsafe, what makes me feel loved, what makes me feel appreciated etc...I generally process actions based on how I feel about them and how they make me feel.
When we give a compliment, its not insincere, we freely give the compliment, in relation to how it will make the other person feel. Sure, I may personally, dislike Rebecca's lime green skirt for myself. But, I know Rebecca really likes to dress flashy and so I will tell her that I like her skirt. Rebecca is happy and feels a little bit more confident. I feel happy, just by seeing her happy. More importantly, it took maybe 30 seconds for me relay to Rebecca that I appreciate and accept her style, all by saying, that simple sentence.
We constantly give and seek emotional validation from our environment and everyone around us.