What do YOU look at?

[balsabonbon]

I have a tendency to both feel people out and judge them by their language.

After that comes their vocabulary. The more profanity I hear, the more I judge them to be incapable of thinking for themselves. You can argue against me on that, but it's a pretty firm prejudice of mine. I pay attention to the rest of their vocabulary to know how big or small of words to use. Do I need to tone down my vocabulary or will I struggle to keep up with their vocabulary?

I find this very interesting as I do something similar, but in reverse. I prefer people who use profanity for exactly the same reason that you don't. In my experience, the people in my life whom I've never heard use any profanity have been the very ones I've noticed to be incapable of thinking for themselves. It's interesting that our life experiences in this regard have been almost exactly opposite.

 

[onlything]

Honestly, I've never looked at people's shoes at all. As a kid one of the certain things I thought were true was that shoes are unimportant and no one looks at them. Hard to say how I came to that conclusion. I probably just projected my feelings towards shoes and clothes in general on others. A rather big mistake but I didn't know much at the time.

While judging people, I mostly listen to them. Listen to what they tell me, listen to what they talk about with others, observe how they move, what they wear, how they behave, what kind of tone do they use while talking to different people or while talking to me. Because of a few mistakes in judging characters of others in the past, I tend to be rather meticulous in the process now.

Overall, I don't really like judging people but it's a necessity. Maybe it's just social anxiety talking but judging or being judged makes something squirm under my skin. I use it mostly to keep myself safe, even when I try to remember that people may have reasons for the way they behave.

 

[Pats]

When my ex and I would be sitting in a restaurant and someone walked by, he could tell you every detail down to the color of their eyes - what they were wearing head to toe - everything. And I couldn't even tell you if it was a man or woman. Even when I'm talking to them I couldn't walk away and give any kind of description. I actually do not like that about myself and have always hoped I would never have to identify anyone in a line up.
But sense of humor is probably the most important thing I look for, too, along with being kind without the bragging.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I tend to notice people's hair, although I don't think there's much to gain from that other than an idea of their personal hygiene and vanity. Also teeth, which again mainly indicates personal hygiene, although there are correlations between good oral hygiene and wealth/education. I've noticed that when I see people with bad teeth I tend to judge their parents for not teaching them to care for their teeth properly... and also that I may be a bit too preoccupied by teeth.

I 'judge' people based on their behaviour. As such it often takes me weeks to gain an impression of a persons personality, although sometimes I do gain an immediate impression, mainly when they're drunk and being an asshole.

 

[HidinginPlainSight]

This probably says more about me than other people, but I generally don't regard them enough to form a judgement; certainly not on first meeting. Even after repeated exposure I tend not to place the evaluation of other people too high on my list of things I need to concern myself with.

 

[Misery]

That's the silliest way to judge people I've ever heard of.

Yeah, to be honest I agree with this.

In my case, for instance. I have a bad back. And a bad everything, really. Everything hurts all the time. Nerve & tendon issues, chronic... I go to physical therapy for this. But the shoes I wear are ones that were specifically chosen for me based on my therapist's recommendation. They provide the very specific sort of support I need in order to keep the pain at least somewhat lower.

In other words, theyr'e not a fashion choice. In fact, they're not really any sort of choice whatsoever. They are used because I need to. So they have literally nothing to do with "character" or anything of that nature. Just a simple necessity due to an uncontrollable physical problem. Anyone trying to get a first impression by my freaking shoes, will always get the wrong impression no matter what it may be. May as well try to get an impression of someone based on whether they wear glasses or not.

Definitely something that it'd be best to NOT do.

Now, that being said, can appearance be an indicator of personality? I do think so, but only to a degree. In my case, as I've mentioned elsewhere I'm male but rather look like a girl, and I have a giant keychain (like 3 feet long) that's often wrapped around my arm (easy way to carry it). I'm very clearly not "normal" right from the start, which absolutely extends to my personality. However, that's all that anyone could accurately get out of that. The amount of info you could get out of looking at someone is minimal at best.


Now as for myself, to answer the question... I dont really look at anything. Most people just look the same to me. I dont mean their faces, but stuff like clothing/style and whatever. All looks the same (unless I"m at a convention). Hell, even if someone doesnt really like "conforming" most clothing is designed that way by default, so it's very hard to avoid. So I dont form any sort of first impression simply based on looking at someone... the idea doesnt even occur to me. But I can understand why it occurs to others.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

That's the silliest way to judge people I've ever heard of.

I've got to agree with this too... the only things my shoes indicate is that I have chronic tendonitis and extremely wide feet and so it's incredibly difficult to find shoes which don't cause me agony. Not that you could actually tell this by looking at my shoes... you'd probably just think I like ugly shoes.

 

[BraidedPony]

Something I look at to get a sense of general well being is I look at their hair. Partly because I’m obsessed with hair anyway but it’s interesting to see how it is styled, is it colored, and what color(s), are roots growing in too long, etc.
It helps to determine a woman’s age by how her hair is styled or not. If she has roots that are longer than about an inch I think she has either been super busy or depressed.
If a man shaves his head I think he is practical. If it’s styled with gel I think he is single or in sales. If he has a pony tail I think he is an old hippy, a biker or an old IT guy.(or all 3 which would be cool)
Young men or women with streaks of pastel colors look fun loving but quiet.
These aren’t strict rules, but I find that hair along with other cues gives me information about what kind of life that person lives.
Women in their 80s that wear Nancy Reagan style wigs are a warning that they have absolutly no use for me and my little dog too! Avoid avoid avoid....lol

 

[BraidedPony]

Speaking of shoes, I look at them and like to make sure they are tied securely and are wearing evenly. Not that it’s any of my business.
I live in a senior community and we have some very interesting footwear! By the time we are seniors we have thrown away those so called stylish shoes and go for comfort and safety. We have a lot of sandals with socks! Actually it’s very comfortable...

 

[Peter Morrison]

Clothing suggests cultural affiliation. I remember that I became attached to certain articles of clothing that I refuse to part with, even if they are torn or stained. It is sinful to throw away food, and I feel the same for clothing that is still useful. Five years ago, I had to throw away a pair of hiking boots that I bought for a Boy Scout trip to New Mexico. They served me well. I was always comfortable in them. There is no substitution for a good pair of boots.

 

[OlLiE]

whether someone has manners or not, ie:
- it means that they have been raised by competent parents
- to be well mannered implies being aware of ones position in a given situation and acting with respect, it is an indication if awareness and intelligence, it is an awareness that one is not the centre of the world and that one's actions have to take other people into account
- to be well mannered implies being disciplined and having principles, it requires an 'effort' that does not give a monetary or practical benefit, you do it because it is right and respectful

so i experience an automatic and deep disgust for:
- loud, rude and ill-mannered people
- people who ignore long term implications of their actions because short term thinking benefits them (this includes people that blindly try to follow to social trends - i feel current 'culture' is self centred, vain, lazy, replaces self discipline with self entitlement as an excuse to do what you want when you want, replaces self responsibility with blaming everyone else for being intolerant - the 'i'm not lazy, stupid and inconsiderate > you are intolerant' ********)
- people who live like animals, ie putting the (immediate) satisfaction of their instincts above the wellbeing of their environment
- people who intellectually abuse the concept of personal freedom to be too lazy too show consideration for others

 

[Progster]

I think that all my appearance will say about me is: "I don't care that much about my image" Jeans, T-shirt, trainers.

 

[Major Tom]

I try not to judge, but if I find I don't like someone, I will avoid them at all costs. If anything I look at their eyes to get a measure of a person, if they allow it.

 

[WildCat]

If it has to happen, actions and behavior are the two things I pay attention to. Emphasis on the actions - if what a person does is in questionable taste, I'm not going to stand for it for very long. If I'm forced to put up with it, it's probably not going to be pretty.

Anyone can spew words, make faces and/or present themselves as they please and it won't make a lick of a difference to me. When the back of their mind is in disagreement with their surface presentation though, that's a red flag.

 

[Tom]

I generally form my first opinion of people by looking at their nostrils.
Yes, definitely their nostrils, and quite accurate I might add...

Even better is up their nostrils. Lots of personality traits can be read. Sort of like tea leaves.

 

[BraidedPony]

Or look at what comes OUT of the nostrils!
I grossed my own self out, lol

 

[AO1501]

I have no reason to look at anything about others for the purpose of judgement, unless and until they do or say something that causes a problem or a solution.

Whether shoes, or any other aspect of their appearance, nothing really speaks to who they are or what they are like, but their words or actions do. I wait for those.

 

[Dangun]

A post in another thread set my mind racing because someone mentioned something that struck a chord with me. They mentioned shoes in the context of people who are overly conformist.

Conformity does more harm than good to society

I have always used shoes as a measure of people. Whatever information I may miss in their body language or tone due to flooding I have often found shoes to be a good judge of character. I have found that the shoes someone wears and their state of repair has been a good (though not perfect) guide to what I can expect from an individual.
May I ask what unconventional methods the rest of you guys & gals have used to get a measure of people you interact with?

I'm just gonna put out there that I come from a poor family and can't afford to keep buying new shoes, and it's hard to keep them nice since I wear them when doing anything outside the house. So, my pair of shoes aren't in the best of shape, but not the worst either since they're a few years old and haven't been horribly neglected.

Unfortunately, I can't really get a good measure of people. It has to be obvious what they're doing. For example, light bullying I often ignore or laugh because I mistake it as some kind of genuine joke, whereas full on insults and harder harassment or extensive cyberbullying is something I can recognize. Same with other matters like flirting, except I can sometimes recognize if I've been flirted with after it happens and I analyze, or if my friends indicate to me.

I think I can see character in the longer run if I know the person well enough, like my best buds. Even then, it's flimsy as thinking about it, it's mostly the good character with very little bad. I don't really judge like I used to, I don't think.

 

[BraidedPony]

When I see someone with new shoes on I think to myself “I bet their feet hurt and can’t wait to get home and take those shoes off.”

 

[Pats]

A post in another thread set my mind racing because someone mentioned something that struck a chord with me. They mentioned shoes in the context of people who are overly conformist.

Conformity does more harm than good to society

I have always used shoes as a measure of people. Whatever information I may miss in their body language or tone due to flooding I have often found shoes to be a good judge of character. I have found that the shoes someone wears and their state of repair has been a good (though not perfect) guide to what I can expect from an individual.
May I ask what unconventional methods the rest of you guys & gals have used to get a measure of people you interact with?

I don't know why, but I have not been able to get my mind off this thread. I think because I keep wondering if you walk with your head down. I didn't realize I did until several people told me to stop. It took some practice walking, not looking at the ground, but I got better at it (though sometimes I still think I'm going to fall). I think when I always looked down I probably noticed shoes more and first. (I think I wasn't going to sleep until I said that).