1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

What do you do when you hurt her feelings?

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by DavidS, May 11, 2021.

  1. DavidS

    DavidS Active Member

    Apr 20, 2021
    Obviously this is an age old question, but add lack of theory of mind and inability to express emotions in an understanding way makes it worse for us aspies involved in NT relationships.
    What do you do to show her you love her when you hurt her feelings through a lack of understanding?
    • Friendly Friendly x 5
    • Useful Useful x 1
  2. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    May 27, 2015
    Tell her you're sorry and didn't mean to. Then do something together.
    • Like Like x 4
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

    Dec 3, 2017
    Write a letter and be sincere. Don't give her any BS. Just the truth.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

    Oct 27, 2020
    Think about it. You know her. Think about how she would interpret your gift and what would best represent your truly sorry in her eyes.
    • Like Like x 2
  5. OkRad

    OkRad μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην V.I.P Member

    Oct 4, 2013
    You are so sweet even to care. Flowers are always nice. And that awkward explanation of "I don't know what I am doing, but what do you need?" You are a good and decent fellow and I know she will understand!
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

    Feb 12, 2019
    Or simply saying, l screw up at times, but at the end of the day, l hope you understand l really care for you.

    And one single flower. Followed with a kiss.

    Or a backrub or footrub.

    Me, l would love a giant bowl of popcorn and watching a cheesy comedy so we could laugh.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. ThomasTallis

    ThomasTallis New Member

    May 10, 2021
    I really like John Gray's Venus and Mars books to explain NT men/women and what she expects and what works. He even give the exact phrasing and explains why NT men or women would express themselves like that in the first place. John Gray doesn't address the Aspie/Autistic angle at all, but he does break down into plain English things that she would never even think of to say to even a NT guy.

    John Gray's books have helped me in dealing with NT men and women even in non romantic contexts as well and provides usable solutions immediately useful.
    • Informative Informative x 1